I was wondering if you could help me out with these two questions (which have a few more in between the lines) that were asked today on the forum,



1) How do I know whether I am an addict? What is the dividing line between compulsive behavior that demands a 12-Step type program, and behavior that's a 'yetzer ha'ra' remediable by a 'Torah approach.' (I see Dov talking a lot about the differences between the approaches on each side of this line.) Is the dividing line the same for everyone? Am I impartial enough to determine whether I'm an addict, or do I need to see a therapist or some other professional?

2) If I'm not an addict, what ideas and methods from the 12 Steps can I (or should I) appropriate to help my journey to recovery? On one hand, I've seen some chizuk e-mails and pamphlets say the 12-Steps can actually be harmful for non-addicts. On the other hand, I've found that many ideas derived from/based on the 12 Steps have been extraordinarily helpful for me.

Thanks for the advice!


Would it be possible for you to write something up that can be posted for everyone's benefit (and if it's not too much of a bother, can you elaborate so that there is no misunderstanding)?


Answer:
If I had to formulate a program for recovery from addiction based on sifre mussar, it would be word for word the 12 steps. Anyone who says the 12 steps are harmful for non-addicts is like saying that mussar is harmful. In my book "Self-Improvement? I'm Jewish" I show how the 12 steps are mussar.

If a person has as desire to do something that he knows is wrong and can't stop himself, that is addiction. If A torah approach works, that's fine. I'm saying that the 12 steps are a torah approach. How the goyim got it is a mystery.



I've had bnei Torah well-versed in mussar who are addicts, and the 12 step program helped them. When a person in sincere recovery leaves a 12-step meeting, he feels, "If I deviate from this program, I die." We say, "ki heim chayenu" but I don't know of people who read a mussar sefer and say, "If I deviate from this I die."

Hatzlacha

someone asked me to post this correspondence with R' AJ Twerski

ZemirosShabbos wrote:


Where is the like button?

I think it is interesting to note that "Ki heim chayeinu" is for all Jews, not just the addicted ones. I mean to say that 12 steps could be Torah, but Torah isn't 12 steps, and yet, the feeling of "if i don't I will die" is the feeling every single Jew should have. Imagine how a person in sincere recovery leaves a meeting. He knows, "If I deviate from this program, I die." What if the average Yid felt that way about Torah and ratzon Hashem, with the same conviction and clarity of purpose? If I deviate from this program, I die. Wow!