Yesterday was Tisha B'Av and it was a time for National Mourning as well as ,for me, a time to mourn my past too. Thru decades of acting out I destroyed my personal spiritual temple and feel like I worshiped false gods
I cannot speak for anyone else, my experience has been looking back self exile from the Holiness within and the wreckage and devastation I caused upon myself. I really resonated yesterday with the identity of the day. I did cry over that with genuine tears of pain.....
With the Grace of Hashem I now am on active journey into recovery and rebuilding. I think and reflect on the multitude of my brothers who still suffer and scream out in their desolation of pain and seek a solution for themselves. I am fortunate to have this program and the gift fellowship. I pray for myself and for others who suffer and know our disease.
Together we can do what we cannot do alone....... May we all find the shalom that eludes us in our addiction and become able to share our discovery and recovery with other . Thereby we can and will help restore ourselves and are Holy Jewish nation back from exile into the Land of Sanity.....

I think I can speak for many people here that when they look back on their past they see so much destruction and devastation that they can be discouraged from trying to to move forward.

Don't let this happen to you. The past is past. Your first (and perhaps only) job is now. What does Hashem want from me now.

My name is Eli.

Welcome to the club.

hey pgreen

how have you been?

haven't seen you online in a while?