I fell hard yesterday. It felt bad, especially so soon after yom kippur, but I'm committed to making teshuvah a year-long process! In that spirit, I wanted to publicize some new fences that I hope to implement over the next couple days/weeks, bli neder.

- Update my filter. Until now, I've been leaving it in its "default" setting and adding websites to the "always block" list when I find them. I need to reverse that. Once I get the password (a friend keeps it), I'll increase it to it's strictest setting, and just make sure I have access to my email, GYE, tools I need for school, and maybe a news website (any other VIN readers here?).
- Be more cautious on public, non-filtered computers. If I find that I need to use a public computer, I will make sure it is in an area with a lot of people around. I will go to the computer with a specific plan i.e. visit a certain website, write two emails, check the weather, then log off. If possible, I'll bring a friend to sit with me while I work on the computer.
- Schedule my afternoons/evenings. Most of my slips and/or falls happen near the end of the day, when I have more free time. I know this sounds strange, but I need to set a bedtime. It'll get me away from the computer, plus it will guarantee a good night's sleep.
- Say tehillim. This works wonders for me. I've already started saying a few kapitlech immediately after davening, and I hope to add one or two more "sessions" of tehillim to my day.
- Join Duvid Chaim's phone group when it starts up again. This will be a huge step for me, and I hope it will help me really find a new relationship with Hashem and His world.

Tizku l'mitzvos!

benavraham,

shkoyach on that post!
bhatzlacha with all of your new gedarim.
setting a bedtime is not weird, it's a great idea!
and great attitude!

That is what is known as "uplifting a fall to Kedusha"!

Hashem doesn't want us to just make one push for purity and be done with it, that would be much less meaningful than a struggle that takes time, we fall, we get up and make better fences, fall and get up and make even better fences, etc... This is a process of learning how to give Hashem our hearts! You are definitely on the right path.

I heard it years ago, but I believe it is still relevant.

The Yesod Ho'avoda writes that if you get stronger after you fall R"L, it is concidered a "yerida letsorech alye" and it is all part of your shteigen.

Can anyone confirm that?

G38 wrote on 30 Sep 2009 15:27:


This sounds consistent with the approach of Rav Tzadok HaKohein MiLublin, as heard from Rav Yisroel Reisman.

Thanks,

This is exactly what I needed today.

My back is still hurting me after spraining it when I had a shtikel slip last night while I was updating my photo, I got stuck on Photo Bucket & my filter didn't do the best job blocking Images/Pages that should have been blocked.

Was just a wake up call that Hey, Efshar! Don't think you are so grounded yet. You still have to watch your back, the Manuval is out to get us all the time until we hit the grave.

But this much I have to give myself credit, that I didn't let it keep me down.

I had a talk with my father in heaven, asked him to forgive me & promised I will be more careful.

So Hashem put these thoughts in my mind that hey. we say S'Lach Lonu 3 times a day! For what? yup just for this. A day after Yom Kipur we can be forgiven again. Hug!

Another hug came after I said the first 4 Kapitlach in Tehilim because I knew what I was up to when I sleep after this slip, & I woke up right before it was to late. it would really hurt me if I didn't make it. Hug! Hug! Hug!

Hour & Half for Shachris this morning, with some extra Kavune.

Am I not Great?! lol

But as Reb B. told me this morning after a Heartfelt Shmooz.

The Y"H is not a 2 Facer but a 3 Facer hence the 3d glasses.

Face #1 - He tells us how Great we are. (so we let down our Guard since we are strong & have nothing to worry about)

Face #2 - He tells us how Bad we are after we fell, because we let our Guard down. (so we feel worthless that we really can't fight this battle)

Face #3 - He talks to Hashem behind our backs telling him that we are sinners. (hows that for a sneaky creep?)

careful of that slimy sneak he has us convinced we are un-slippable

heh heh

all he is trying to do is

to get us to say

" i messed up my whole RH and YK"

i give uppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

hey slithering slimey snake!!!

good riddance to you

although we are told in the gemara not to say it but you slimy 3face cheap suit yh

you know the gemara

yes we will poke your eyes out with the lulav

leave my friends alone you ceap polyester suit

bardichev wrote on 30 Sep 2009 21:23:

I couldn't decide where to write the following, but you started so let me tell you what i saw in a small booklet from R' Yanke'le Z"L from Pshevorsk in Antwerp.

He relates there how his rebe, the Koloshitser rov Z"L, made sure everyday to sleep a bit in his Sukah by day, and he always had a shomer so that he should not be there alone.

Usually R' Yankele was the shomer and one day before going to sleep the Koloshitser rov asked him if he knows what is the means of the Arba Minim? so R' Yankele answered no. The Koloshitser rov explained to him that the Hadasim look like the eyes to ask Hashem to help us guard them, the Arovos look like the the lips so we ask for help on guarding them (as I wrote here yesterday that this is an important factor in our struggle), the Esrog looks like the heart and the Lulev like the spine.
Now, the spine is connected to the brain so we pray here for a clean brain.

So to all our brave heroes, here comes an opportunity.