From a halachic perspective, if one is going to spill their seed, is it worse if they masturbate to porn, verses thinking about intimacy with wife, or doing other things like laying in bed a certain way that will cause ejaculation? Are there ways of doing this that are less problem, as far as punishment and offense? Is it worse to use your hand or not, etc? I know all is assur. But if one is going to do it anyway...

As far as I know, there is no difference in how the deed is done, but I am no rabbi.

If one is it going to do it anyway... never changes anything. Why should the effect be any less because of your lack of control?

For example...which is worse?

Viewing porn but not touching oneself, until something happens

Or

Regular masturbation while thinking of intimacy with wife

What is worse?

They are both dangerous and lead to the same downfall.

Why do you want to masturbate so badly?

I don't...not right now anyway. But, there are times where I do...and I don't usually give in, but if I was going to, I would like to know which way gets me more punishment from HaShem and which may be a less offense

Let Hashem worry about His cheshbonos. It's none of our business.

We can't worry about the past, it's done. We can't worry about the future, it hasn't happened yet.
We need to just work on making the right decisions one moment at a time.

Option 1: "Viewing porn but not touching oneself, until something happens"

Option 2: "Regular masturbation while thinking of intimacy with wife"

Option 3: NOT NEEDING TO DO IT AT ALL!

Look, you're here on this website to go for recovery. Contrary to what you think, all hope is not lost.

The Y"H makes it seem as if you HAVE to fall immediately or else you will die. But obviously that isn't the case.

Try TaPhSiC. Visit the forum if you're in a crunch.

As far as your question? If you really think you're definitely going to fall--do it without thinking of anything. Keep your mind blank.

You instinctively recoil, no? Because for some reason it hurts when we aren't thinking of anyone.

Look around the forum though for a lot of good advice.

Good luck!

the options remind me of a question I asked somebody...


"what would you prefer to be locked in a room for 15 minutes, a Tiger or an Alligator?"


fuggedabout it.

IT IS NOT AN OPTION!

workingonteshuvah wrote:

For a halachik perspective, you need to ask a rav, not anonymous sex addicts. As sex addicts, we can tell you that all the aforementioned activities will ultimately make you miserable, and have other terrible side effects, such as loss of apetite, depression, divorce, loss of job, public embarrassment, etc. etc. .

c'mon workingonteshuva, you can do better. Many addicts have found freedom. You can too. Don't worry about "getting the lesser punishment". Do the work one day at a time to be free and don't look back, just ahead.

oh, and WELCOME, if I did not welcome you yet. This is a great place and many people have found freedom from their addiction.

Take a look in the eBooks section for the GYE materials and keep posting and reading the forum. There is a lot of good information and tools to help. There are a lot of great people here too.

Stick around!

btw I would totally prefer an Emu and a Giraffe over an Alligator and a Tiger

Sex addiction is an illness. Even if it would be halachicly ok, it would still be a problem for me.

I have stopped asking if Hashem is going to punish me for acting out. Instead i ask, why would i want to punish myself by acting out...