Hi, I am new to the site. I am a bochur. I have been struggling with problems of masturbating for a long time now. I can go a week or week and half clean, but then I fall. I was told and read that the longer I am clean, the easier it gets. I don't find this to be true. What should I do? Please help me.

Hi dontknowwhattodo,
I am 17 so I know how are it is for younger guys like us. I suggest you write as much as you can on the forum. I used to think that because I was so unclean that I should not give advice to others. Since I have been posting daily, I have been improving dramatically. There are also some daily emails this site can send you. They help to. Make sure to read the articles. Sometimes I pick one at random because reading anything on this site helps. I hope my ideas help you in this struggle. You can send me a private message whenever you want. I will always be happy to reply.

--some_guy/Elias/Eliyahu

dontknowwhattodo wrote:


Hi there and welcome DKW2D. The question is, how do you define being clean? If you vigilantly avoid all forms of lust from entering your heart, then you will find that after a while it will become much much easier. But that means you need to avoid looking at anything that may trigger your lust. No such thing as kosher women to look at. If it turns you on, you need to turn it off. Also, if you fanatasize and get aroused, even without looking at anything, then you are lusting just as well. So you need to avoid it at all costs. But if you just stay clean from P*** and M***, while you tease yourself with looking at so-called modestly dressed women, or with fanatasies and improper thoughts, or any activity that arouses you, then you are only tightening the spring more and more, and it will eventually explode.

Got that?

Hatzlacha Rabbah!

MT

I second what MT writes (based on plenty of unfortunate personal experience). I would also add that although it is true that the longer you are clean the easier it gets, a week and a half is probably not enough. Like any drug there is a "withdrawal period". I would say it takes a month or 2. But don't worry it will happen in the end.

Sholom Aleichem dontknowwhattodo! Welcome to GYE!
What I find is that as soon as I'm clean for a week, I start getting complacent, and I fall again. Yes, it will ultimately get easier but there's always a fight there. If you avoid complacency, you'll find it does get easier.
Hatzlacha!

thanks a lot guys- I'm gonna try to keep all this in mind.

It is no problem. This is what the forum was make for.

Hey, some_guy, zvi and and dontknowwhattodo: do you guys want to join our bochur thread "tcholent party"?

Listen to me tzadik! I understand it is tough, and I also understand that you need to guard your eyes not to look at materials that make you fall back.
Having said that, when your yetzer hora starts up with you he will not start with making you fall right away. He will start by driving you up a wall to stop guarding your eyes and start looking. Sometimes you will only take a peek at first and sometimes you will jump right in to looking at stuff that's really bad for us. In other words what I'm trying to say is that people that are saying that you have to watch your eyes, true, but when your yetzer hora wants you he will fight you on the shmeeros eynoyim first.
So now dont get discouraged it is a fight worth fighting. And remember this every time you close your eyes when you have a hard moment you did a mitzvah no matter what happens after that. the fight to guard your eyes is just as important as any other part of guarding you kedusha. I have a lot more to say but gotta run now! You are not alone!