Does anyone think a topic not I'm about to fall but a feeling down topic should be a sticky topic so people could help somebody before he reaches the edge?
sort of like giving a loan to a rich person so he won't become poor?

I think it's a good idea.

I feel down. If this continues, it usually leads to me acting out. Good to nip the bad thoughts in the bud before it escalates to almost acting out.

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I'll go first:

Last year's sins may be forgiven, and I haven't acted out yet. What is that worth if I don't feel connected to HaShem? I wish I was, but I don't know how to do that. What must I do?

Add to that the fact that it's hard to get back to the grind, back to work with the same challenges as before Y"K (be careful not to do this, not to do that...).

Add to that the fact I'm so far behind in work, I feel very overwhelmed.

As I told Yaakov last week, if I had a pill in my hand that I could take to end it all, I would take it. I would take it right now. But I don't.

The thread "Tehillim/Daven for me is for people who feel that they're having a rough day and they are down but i still think this is a great idea Nat.
We'll see if our fearless leader decides to make it sticky.

We as addicts are usually very emotional people.
When we are happy,we are really happy.
When we are sad,we are really sad.
I personally can attest to the fact that my downs are usually quite painful and lonely.

When we are down,we generally tend to go into our shell and be depressed alone.

That is selfish.

Share it with us,please.
When we are down is when we sometimes have the deepest expressions of yearning.
We drink from Hashem's fountain and we forget why we are drinking.
So Hashem makes us thirsty again to remind us how much we need His fountain.
We are living on the roller coaster of life.
There are ups.
There are downs.
There are twirly spins.
But we must remember always:
Hashem is directing the roller coaster.
We must have faith in Him that we'll make it out okay.
And that the downs are always followed by ups.
So when you are down.....

1)Post away!
2)Watch videos on chabad.org/kabbalahtoons
3)Call a friend
4)Listen to music

But really,every person has to find what picks him/her up the most.
We are all very different.

But,in my opinion,the most important thing to remember is that it is ok to be down.
Not that we should stay there.
But we should accept that we as people have down days.
And sometimes,they are really down.
But it's okay.
And we're still gevaldike yidden.
And we're not gonna be putting out 100%
Cause we have a different scale now.
We put out what we can.
And take it easy on ourselves.
And love ourselves.
And accept ourselves.
Just because we are down does not mean we are bad people.
Hashem loves us no matter what.
Even if we dont learn
Even if we dont daven.

So down shmown.
This too shall pass.

-uri

Uri, that was another very beautiful post!!

But I removed that last line... let's not get carried away, shall we?  

Why not write,
even if we murder and pillage...
even if we rape and massacre women and children,
even if we set fire to the city...

LOL, I think I'm getting carried away now too...

Ok, I just made your day worse probably... Well, no worries. Remember, the lower the low, the higher the high...  ;D

BTW, did you hear about the twin who was having a bad day? It was in the headlines:

Suicidal twin kills brother by mistake!

Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man you're planning to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun?

I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day before his execution, managed to take a drug overdose. They rushed him to a hospital, saved his life, then brought him back to prison and killed him. Apparently, just to anger him.

Look, many many people (present company included) have had fleeting thoughts about steeping in front of the 7:41 instead of on it...not all those people are depressed to the point it is dangerous...but some of us have contsant and repeating thoughts about suicide coupled with long bouts of crying or have actually taken a substantial step towards realizing this...to those people, they really really need to see an expert in the field because that is not anything to be ignored..

Momo wrote on 29 Sep 2009 10:44:


Momo, I know that there are different approaches to this.  But let me tell you something that is practical and what our wise sages tell us.  The baalei Mussar tell us that feeling a true connection is not in our hands.  Yes, we have to work towards that feeling and following all the commandments with great dikduk as well as try to feel that bond, but bottom line the true feeling is in the hands of Hashem.  The one thing that is on our hands is being an eved Hashem.  Meaning, to make choices whether to act or not to act.  This is our bechira.  This is our first and foremost responsibility as Jews.  Look at Chovos Halevavos for example. Shaar Avodas Hashem comes before bitachon and certainly before ahavas Hashem, which is a very high medreiga.  When you focus on this, the task becomes a lot less daunting.  I know for me, when I am down about my avodas Hashem and my connection I go back to basics and say to myself that it is not in my hands.  If I am acting in accordance with the mitzvos, then I am doing my part as an eved Hashem.  I will try my best to feel Hashem in every aspect of my life, but when that 'high' never comes I do not get down.  
So, please do not say what is it worth if you do not feel connected.  Rejoice over the fact that you have not acted out today acted as a true eved Hashem.  And as Guard says many times (and it is mentioned in seforim), that when we approach avodas Hashem this way, we are to a certain degree on a higher level.  We are recognizing that no matter what we are the servant of Hashem.  We will serve Him even if we do not feel Him because we always intellectually believe that He is our Master.  But when we only serve Him when we feel 'connected', we should double check ourselves if we are really acting as servants of G-d or servants to our emotional stability.

Momo wrote on 29 Sep 2009 10:44:

I relate to this.  I will tell you what works for me.  I take the divide and conquer approach.  Rather than look at my faults as one big mush of human failure, I break it down into very small sections.  And then I decide what I will work on.  For instance, when I first began addressing my addiction back in Feb I did not take a full blown course of action against all my faults in this area.  I split it up into a few parts and then worked on each part one at a time.  Once I felt confident that one area was under control, I proceeded to the next.  You have to know how to apply this to your situation.  But start with the areas that you feel are easier to attain.  You will see that the moment you begin conquering those areas that are easier, all of a sudden the "harder" areas of the struggle will begin to seem easier.  I do the same for kavana in davening.  I have a very hard time in this area.  So rather than say, "OK, from now on I will have kavana in all of shma and shemone esrei", I break it down. And for a long time now I have been putting focus into concentrating on the fisrt pasuk of shma (which is deoraysa).  It is still not easy. And I not sure if I even fulfilled the mitzvah many days.  But far lot easier because I chose to focus on one small obligation.  

Momo wrote on 29 Sep 2009 10:44:

Yes, the words reverberate in my head.  And one day you will be so thankful that you never had that pill.  May today be that day.

Reb Yakv

You must write a book!

Also, I'm waiting for the interpretation on Reb Tzadok Hakohein you said you would do.

Dear Nat,
        Shanah Tovah to you and yes I agree with you. Depression and giving in to ones lusts are intimately connected, when one is sad, in despair or depressed then it is so easy to fall, if we are low our defenses are down and we don't feel connected to Hashem at all and this is the fault which the yezter harah takes advantage of.

However once we fall how can we have joy? we get more down and depressed and therefore we get into a viscious cycle that is hard to break.

Rabbi  Nachman I think said that when we are feeling very low it means we are actually very high and nearly reaching a break through moment into a new level of holiness. The yezter harah knows this and throws everything he has at us to stop us from reaching this new level, therefore realise that when we are low and down, this is actually a sign that we are making progress!!!

Hang in there and stay cool, it will pass and gradually you will come out the the low dip....trust me you are all holy, more holy than you realise!

Right after Yom Kippur I am also starting to think about p**n on the internet, I have to keep strong and realise that the yetzer harah is throwing me a test and that I am reaching a new level, I must stay strong.

Noson

Heiligeh Noson,

Good post! I know it wasn't intended for me, but it gives me chizuk nonetheless. A great post to start off my day.

Thanks!

Nishmas

Thanks for all the feedback everyone, I myself fell a bit because of many small mistakes which caused me little by little to fall inot depression and then I neede to feel good again so I fell.
Now I have to rethink what I did to get here
The truth is its blatantly obvious after the fact!
The baal shem tov writes that there is depression is not an aveirah but can lead to the worst aveiros and mikva is not in itself a mitzva but when done (with the spirit of step one-bitul) can lead to the highest heights!

P.s. This little thread is not coming in the place of psychological or Psychiatric treatment if you need to be treated its ok see a shrink practice step one.
We are only as friends supporting each other

You are right Nat,
      Its the little things that get us down, every little mistake weakens us until our yetzer harah is able to overcome our own logical and common sense and send us down a very lowly sin. Its like a boxer, you can knock him down with one blow when he is ready for you....this is almost impossible, or you can tap him multiple times, distract him and put him off balance....he is now an easier target. Remember the little mistakes are just that...little, try not to let them get you down, this is not easy but one should try and focus on the good within yourself, your good traits and deeds. One Rabbi story states that just being Jewish is enough to send you to the heights of the heavens!

I wish you much strength and remember how holy you truly are, no matter what you have done in the past, each day is a brand new day started with a fresh soul, the past is in the past and you are in the present! Be strong......

Chag Sameach
Noson