Hi everyone

I just started on GYE a few weeks ago and I signed up on the 90 day chart and B"H I am holding at 2 weeks clean (tomorrow I will be upgraded from "chazak chazak" with a spinning star to a "gibor koach osei devaro" with trumpets .

Despite this accomplishment, and I don't want to minimize it, I have been feeling some weak moments over the last few days. I haven't slipped, but I know that I have to go on offense otherwise I could slip soon r"l.

I have been thinking about setting up a taphsic shevuah for myself. It's a little scary, but I think it could go a long way in helping me. The question is, I work in a cubicle all day, (see my original thread here). I am looking for good ideas for distractions/knasos to use. Does anyone have experience with Taphsic and could tell me what works well or what doesn't work well. Keep in mind, my main issue is at work, so getting up and going somewhere else is not always so feasible.

Thanks in advance!

You say you're at two weeks. Can I ask you how did you accomplish that? What methods do you already have in place to control your yetzer?

As for the filter at work, is it really true that you cannot put k9 on it, or is that your yetzer talking? k9 is very good at no overblocking (in fact it was designed to be used in offices), I can't imagine your boss would really mind if you installed it. But I'm just guessing, you be the judge.

Second, if you work in a cubicle, is it possible for you to arrange your computer in such a way as to be visible to people walking past?

Personally I didn't find that knosos helped at all. I just did the aveiroh and paid the knas. But that's just me. I sometimes use distraction by putting earphones on and playing loud, fast music for a few minutes.

I can't advise you on taphsik, but please remember that this gets easier after a while, even though it doesn't feel like it right now. It sometimes feels like we'll be struggling like this forever, but we won't. It does get to a point that it feels so easy we can't even understand what's hard about it.

When I had a job it was actually impossible to install K9.

TaPhSiC is safe and effective. Read all about it over here:
If you can spare 10 minutes of work time to look at filth you can spare 2 minutes to talk to Hashem in English about why you want to look at porn and why you want to not look. You can write an email to Hashem if you can't talk or log on to GYE and post a post.

qi,


I work for a large company. My boss is not the proprietor of the business or the CEO. He is just my supervisor. Anyway, what am I supposed to do, say to him, "I have been spending some work time in the past looking at p*** (which is against company policy and could get me fired), but I want to stop, so could I install a K9 filter and you hold the password?"...?!! A goyishe kupp could never understand a request like that. And my past experience is that you can only download and install software if you are logged in as an administrator. So I think a filter is out of the question. Besides, the company already filters all the computers (obviously not foolproof addictproof).

Beggar,



I already read about taphsic when I joined GYE and went through the handbook. From what I read it sounds like something that I am interested in. I just wanted to hear about people's personal experience with taphsic, i.e. how did they fill in the "blanks", and their success (hopefully not the opposite) stories. That's all.

I have the same administrator problem. I just spoke to my boss (who is frum) and said that all the open internet is "distracting" so he is speaking to the techies to see what they can do.
REMEMBER THIS COULD BE THE PURPOSE YOU WERE PUT HERE!
don't go down without a fight.

Regarding Taphsic,
I don't actualy do the official taphsic loshon, but I find that writing out a kabolah for the next day/two days/week about my internet activity and/or other nasty habits... and specifying one or two "safe" sites, like if you like baseball
maybe MLB.com for diversions. specify that if you are oiver the kabolah, you will give x amount of $$$$ to tzedaka (make it hurt, but affordable) or say whole sefer tehilim (or 50 perakim or whatever).
Also write out the reason WHY you are doing this,
eg. To become close to hashem, to fix your relationship with your wife etc..
and sign it.

It's not fool proof, and it depends a lot on honesty, but I have seen good results most of the time.

Throughout my life I made many such vows - all kinds. I have paid thousands of dollars and fasted many days as a result. I currently have some vows in effect, but I finally learned that it's only good as a last-resort backup system. What really keeps me safe is the realization that the only way I can survive is by avoiding all triggers and all forms of lust. That includes strict shmiras einayim as well as strict shmiras machshovo. Fanatasizing is poison, and looking at "half-kosher" images is also poison. Lust is lust, as alcohol is alcohol. The slightest sip can lead to the most grave consequences.

And besides - it's much easier to control the urge when it is small, and it becomes even easier once you make a habit of living in safe mode.

Think about it!

Hatzlacha

MT

I agree with mt. The way i made my kabbalos and shvuos don't actually stop me from falling.All i did was look at the pattern of how i fall (i.e. late at night after going to a "semi-kosher site" on an unfiltered computer)and used the kabbalos to stop myself from being able to start the pattern but i can always fall earlier, on a filtered computer etc.
I did this because 1) i don't think that they would stop me if they were not to fall at all (like iv'e made and broken many times) 2)because if the reason i'm doing it is because of a shavuah and not because i finally decided to stop, then chances are that eventually i'll fall because i might not renew the shvuah or i might find a hole in the shvuah

the knas i use is to have to say the entire tehillim within three days if i break the shvuah.