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lets help my day count!
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TOPIC: lets help my day count! 1021 Views

lets help my day count! 12 Mar 2013 00:58 #203386

since ive joined GYE my average has been about two weeks and then.... BAM! im trying to break that record and being as im feeling particularly narcissistic today and i get tremendous chizzuk from the comradarie here im gonna ask for a cheering squad to root for me. feel free to join. if i can offer any encouragement to fellow stugglers who want me and anyone else who joins the aforementioned squad (please don't leave me here by myself!) that would be awesome.
as of today i have four days
i used to look back all the time saying "oh no! what have i done! Hashem help me erase the past." and i never heard a response.
finally i started looking forward saying "Hashem i'm leaving the past to you and i'm forgetting all about it. help me have a good future. help me from here and on be the person You want me to be." and that's where i realized Hashem had been waiting to help me all along

Re: lets help my day count! 12 Mar 2013 04:05 #203403

  • skeptical
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Don't pay attention to how many days you've been clean. If you want (if you feel the need for chizzuk), you can write down the date you started and keep it somewhere. Then just work on each day at a time and keep going. Don't ever tell yourself that 1) you've beaten a past "score," or 2) you've been clean long enough that you must be cured. Just keep going.

You're happier being clean. What a great sense of accomplishment! Keep it up!

When you the temptations start nudging you, remind yourself that 1) you're happier this way and 2) giving in will not make you happier. It will just make you miserable the moment you're done.

Then shut the thoughts out completely by thinking about something else.

Hatzlacha!

Re: lets help my day count! 12 Mar 2013 04:10 #203406

  • reallygettingthere
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I think you're doing great! Two weeks is awesome! (so is one day!!)


hands_clapping.gif


Eli
Roy in the SA White Book noted that we frequently prayed and it did not work...because the best we could muster was begging G-d to "Please take it away, so I will not have to give it up!

No amount of sobriety can cure the insanity -ChaimCharlie

The emmes hurts but fake chizzuk will hurt more -Bards

Remember, best block, no be there - Mr. Miyagi

Re: lets help my day count! 12 Mar 2013 21:43 #203443

skeptical, you have some very valid points. to clarify, what im looking for is some comradirie in my struggle, the day count is not important in and of itself (the only day thats important is today)
thanks eli and hatzlacha to everybody
i used to look back all the time saying "oh no! what have i done! Hashem help me erase the past." and i never heard a response.
finally i started looking forward saying "Hashem i'm leaving the past to you and i'm forgetting all about it. help me have a good future. help me from here and on be the person You want me to be." and that's where i realized Hashem had been waiting to help me all along

Re: lets help my day count! 13 Mar 2013 00:10 #203469

  • AlexEliezer
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One day at a time my friend

One day at a time

Re: lets help my day count! 13 Mar 2013 00:29 #203473

  • mr. emunah
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Keep goin Nitz!

god loves you

feel the hugs

and don't mention Draco Malfoy's mum on GYE!

the day count is not important,

but look out for Count Dracula...

Re: lets help my day count! 13 Mar 2013 00:30 #203475

  • inastruggle
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we're all in this together (kol yisroel areivim zeh lazeh)
and especially here at gye we're all rooting for you and all of us

Re: lets help my day count! 13 Mar 2013 17:52 #203506

if there is one phrase i heard in school almost as often as "get out of my class!" it was "young man you need to change your attitude" as much as i hate to say it my teachers were on to something. here are some things i saw which i feel are helping
part of a post from True Ratzon in tips and suggestion:
So tomorrow, I need to work on my self talk. I needn't say "oh, I see an attractive person and now I'm going to grapple with this evil urge called taivas nashim". Rather, I'll say to myself, "I'm glad that I am healthy and that Hashem implanted a natural urge inside me. Now I have a job to do. I am to take this urge and be happy about it."
from the letter GYE sends after a fall:
It seems Hashem loves your divine service too much to just let you be happy with your current situation. He often brings us to fall, just when we thought we had it all under control. This is so that we realize that without His help, without true humility in the knowlege that only He can help us, we cannot really succeed. He also wants us to keep taking our fences to a new level. He wants a higher level of purity from us, He wants our hearts.
something i heard:
"life IS a bed full of roses. it just takes a lot of c*** to fertilize the roses"
thank to all for your encouragement
i used to look back all the time saying "oh no! what have i done! Hashem help me erase the past." and i never heard a response.
finally i started looking forward saying "Hashem i'm leaving the past to you and i'm forgetting all about it. help me have a good future. help me from here and on be the person You want me to be." and that's where i realized Hashem had been waiting to help me all along

Re: lets help my day count! 14 Mar 2013 23:46 #203564

B"H today i have a week. heres about where ive usually gotten complacent (i mean a whole week! i for sure have this thing licked, right?) some things im doing differently this time:
i signed up for the chizzuk emails (both of them)
started going through the principles
called a friend of mine whos in SA told him i fell and talked strategy with him
i got some other stuff i PLAN to do but am not gonna post them till theyre done
something i saw from the lubavitcher Rebbe
"the jews who left egypt merited to the revelation of G-d because of the avodas perach they did in mitzrayim. hard work (even regular ordinary hard work) refines a person (mezakeich) and allows him to receive G-dliness."
kinds of gives a new outlook on pesach cleaning, no?
i used to look back all the time saying "oh no! what have i done! Hashem help me erase the past." and i never heard a response.
finally i started looking forward saying "Hashem i'm leaving the past to you and i'm forgetting all about it. help me have a good future. help me from here and on be the person You want me to be." and that's where i realized Hashem had been waiting to help me all along

Re: lets help my day count! 19 Mar 2013 18:42 #203731

  • moish u.k.
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I'm here to cheer you on.

How are you doing?

What are you doing to make today count?

Best regards,

Moish

Re: lets help my day count! 23 Mar 2013 22:01 #203958

ive never really shared my story. its always been hard for me to open up. here goes

my house growing up was not always a happy place. there was a lot of screaming, some hitting and no emotional support. school, dont even get me started on school. from an early age i remember always trying to run away. sometimes in the simplest sense of the word. i would just disappear for hours. mostly though i would run away inside. relatively harmless stuff whether it was books computer games movies anything to just shut myself off from the world, from myself. i discovered the 'facts of life' at a very early age and as young as 9-10 it fascinated me. a 'friend' of mine in school would sell me pictures that he printed off the internet. i would occasionally get my hands on a magazine and sometimes a movie. at 16 i ran away to israel because that was as far as i could go. as bob marley put it "you can run, you can run, you can run away, but you cant run away from yourself" then i got my own computer. the internet, where every fantasy a person could possibly conceive at your fingertips in the privacy of your own home. in the meantime i WAS doing a lot of growing. making friends, repairing or creating, a relationship with my parents. i learned a profession. inside though although there were tremendous improvements there was still a lot to be done (and there always will be. i can always improve) a couple of years ago i joined a 12 step group to deal with some of the chemical escapes i had used. it was very helpful but there were some issues there as well. i met some people in my group who are also a part of SA. i was still in denial about my lust problem, one of them directed me to GYE. i must say the more time i am spending on this site the more impressed i am. i have fallen a number of times since joining but the falls are getting farther apart, much shorter and each time ive taken real steps forward. after one time i finally installed (or had someone else install to be more precise) a web filter, another i joined the chizzuk emailing list. i was not prepared for the emotional reactions i have to the chizzuk emails. they are positive and building. i feel that my outlook on myself and on life are starting to improve. it doesnt matter how many times ive fallen. Hashem loves me right now. today, right now, if i push away the Y"H that is infinitely Precious. i am worth being sober. i want to live and to grow and that is why i try and stay clean. not because i am bad.
i thank all of you from the bottom of my heart and the top of my neshama for being here.
oh and... my name is avi
i used to look back all the time saying "oh no! what have i done! Hashem help me erase the past." and i never heard a response.
finally i started looking forward saying "Hashem i'm leaving the past to you and i'm forgetting all about it. help me have a good future. help me from here and on be the person You want me to be." and that's where i realized Hashem had been waiting to help me all along
Last Edit: 24 Mar 2013 23:09 by nitzotzeloki.

Re: lets help my day count! 11 Apr 2013 20:10 #204912

  • moish u.k.
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Hi Avi,

How are you doing today?

Re: lets help my day count! 11 Apr 2013 22:57 #204939

ive been going through a very rough time recently. a lot of fear and insecurities have been popping up. B"H ive been reaching out to get help and not isolating like i used to
thank you very much for asking
i used to look back all the time saying "oh no! what have i done! Hashem help me erase the past." and i never heard a response.
finally i started looking forward saying "Hashem i'm leaving the past to you and i'm forgetting all about it. help me have a good future. help me from here and on be the person You want me to be." and that's where i realized Hashem had been waiting to help me all along

Re: lets help my day count! 16 Apr 2013 17:23 #205192

B"H doing much better
i used to look back all the time saying "oh no! what have i done! Hashem help me erase the past." and i never heard a response.
finally i started looking forward saying "Hashem i'm leaving the past to you and i'm forgetting all about it. help me have a good future. help me from here and on be the person You want me to be." and that's where i realized Hashem had been waiting to help me all along

Re: lets help my day count! 16 Apr 2013 17:40 #205199

  • Eye.nonymous
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nitzotzeloki wrote:
ive been going through a very rough time recently. a B"H ive been reaching out to get help and not isolating like i used to.


Hi Nitzotz,

I relate very much to your story. All the times I dreamt of running away, I think, is part of how I ended up living in Israel.

That reaching out instead of isolating, for me, has been a huge part of my recovery.

Good luck,

Elyah
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