needtoquit wrote:
Very well-said, chaver. I actually agree, but what I wrote is still my experience. Most guys who have a porn and masturbation habit are not addicts. I believe that is clear. I assume that it is axiomatic that those who are, fit what I said. Those who are not, fit what you wrote, that's all. You are 100% right, for many people.

I, and addict in recovery, am here for the addicts - the guys who do not get better with Taphsic, etc. (And, incidentally, I have no interest at all in [c"v] 'convincing' anyone that he or she is an addict...in other words, I do not bite).

...and tryingtobeme is so right and wrote it so well. Straight from the heart.

And the sadness you feel about your losses, Azuvada, is a precious gift from Hashem. Kir'u levavchem, v'al bigdeichem, says the novi. "Tear your hearts, so that you will not need to tear your clothes" (per rav Noach Weinberg's preferred translation) If we can actually have pain over our lost time, our self-damage through hours and hours of pacifying ourselves with sweet pornography, and our neglect of real life...then we are already partway to a better place.

Will it make us stop? Probably not. The road to failure is certainly also paved with lots of very good intentions. Intentions are not usually enough. They did not 'make' me stop for over 15 years... But having all that pain and failure clear in my heart certainly got me ready to actually surrender and get the help I really needed to stop, when 'the X@#%! hit the fan' and I really saw I was in deep, deep trouble and had lost the war.

Like the rebbes (is it R' MM miRimanov?) explain, "v'hayu hadvorim ha'eileh asher Anochi metzav'cho hayom al levovecha." Why al levovecha - on your heart? Why not inside your heart? Isn't inside our hearts exactly where Hashem wants it to be?

They answer that we cannot usually put things into our hearts. We can think it, we can even feel it - but it is not really inside our very hearts the same way that our instincts are. Getting them into our hearts - truly part of us - is a gift from Hashem. Like nevuah, it is something we can prepare ourselves for - but then He either gifts us, or does not. (Great pain certainly opens the heart..but it amazes me how great our capacity to suffer is. It is really sad, in a way. And it is also amazing how much sickness and mishaga'as a person can get accustomed to! R"l...)

Alei v'hatzlach, chabibi!

on the thought of addict v.s non addict,
I think the Tora's take on promiscuity and Licentiousnes is that we ALL need to treat ourselfves as if we are addicts, Like the torah does not condone any type of immorality even in small doses ie. kol shehistakel betzba kitana shel isha kilu histakel bimakom hatoref, hilchot harchakot, hilchot yichud, hilchot sniut etc.
I don't see any harm in saying I AM AN ADDICT AND CANNOT TOLERATE EVEN A SMALL SIP in the worst case scenario you arent an addict, and you'll just be a heilige yid.
Cheers!
HP!

Thanks for the insights. It seems to me that there would be merit in installing a filter in the case of pop-ups and the like, where something can be foisted upon you without the chance to escape before seeing it.

But perhaps for non or low-level addicts, I think that a filter as a means of fighting the battle is futile, kind of like sticking a finger in a dam to stop a raging flood of water, since it is available so easily elsewhere.

Good Shabbos and a Frelichin Purim everybody!

We should all have a renewed kabala m'ahava!

ever heard of the boy with his finger in the dike? well he saved a whole country, so there's some merit in that as well.

cut back the tuma!

especially since the alternatives are slighty more difficult