Last night I had a fall. It was triggered by a phone call from an Ex Girlfriend. She is much more liberal than me in her observance. One of the areas she was more liberal in was the Laws of purity. This was the cause of a lot of tension in the relationship. I wanted her to back off and for a time (after a fight) she would, but then things would just relapse. The cycle was I would buckle under her advances and then come to my senses. It never got to “THAT” point if you know what I mean, but for an addict even a little is too much. This ended up being the ultimate cause of the breakup (there were other issues with observance of Halakah). I even told (not with a great deal of detail) about my problem with p**n. I struggled to get her to understand the benefits of maintaining distance, but she just couldn’t get it. This crash means I need to step my game “I know,” but breaking out of my shell is hard. I need to avoid her. Anyone have any other pointer?

There is no liberality. You did good, you did the right thing bro. Kol hakavod for your steady position!

You know the Bible speaks very clear about what you are experiencing now. In Mishlei 31 it's said "Do not give your strength/wealth to women, your ways to those who destroy kings."

I think that if she is your basherta she will show compassion and understanding, not to say self-denial for your own good.

The whole dating thing is too much of a nissayon so i think you would be better if you stayed alone at least until you become strong in Hashem Yitbarach and overcome your weakness bezrat Hashem. I'm sure you will know then if dating is where you really want to go.

And if that girl is standing between you and Hashem Yitbarach maybe you would like to consider the idea of letting her go, leaving her in the past. Hashem Echad.

B'ahava

Things have been looking up for me lately. All this stuff I’ve been davening for Hashem has blessed me with and almost all at once no less; I now have a car, job and I’m moving in to a new Apt. the 1st of March. I will not have internet right away because I don’t know if I can afford it (this may be a good thing); my budget is stretched pretty tight. Ever sense my fall I’ve been feeling down and weak; this was supposed to be it. It feels like I’m back at the stage of making my mind up to quit or not. Deep down I know I want to stop, but I don’t think I’ve made that FULL commitment yet. I do not want to lose contact with the site. What can I do?

There is absolutely no benefit to feeling down because of what you did. We're in this world to grow, not to dwell on something that happened a month, a week, a day, or even 10 minutes ago.




There you have it. Get up, brush off the dust and get to it!

Othniel wrote:

I hear you. I was like that for a long time. Even if you aren't ready yet keep visiting, even if only occasionally. With Hashem's help you may stumble on a post which may help.
Also don't just wait around until you are ready keep thinking it over in your mind. Do you really want to quit? Have you reached the point where this is ruining your life? Do you understand how bad it is for you and how much Hashem doesn't want you to do it? Keep thinking until it really sinks in. I know at least for myself that took a long time.

Hatzlacha,
NeedToQuit