Here's my simple story. I was sick and tired of falling so I joined GYE (under a different name). I joined the calls, participated, even had a year of sobriety (B"H!). Ever since that year I've slowly been moving back to my old ways. I've bounced back many times, always kept a positive attitude, not beating myself up like I used to do. Well - I'm still being positive, and I'm happy that I fell b/c now I know that I still need work and that I'll always need work. I also know I can't take control of this, no matter how many years or days or hours of sobriety I have. I'm handing this over to H'. It's Yours! Now tell me what I need to do and help me do it! I know you want me to grow from this and be clean of this - so show me the way H'! Please help me follow You!

PS BH I'm sick and tired again today!

Welcome Back HWMTS

HeWantsMeToSucceed wrote:


What do you think you need to do?

Welcome, and thanks for coming back!

I too have been through the revolving door, in and out of of sobriety, many times.

There's only one way to. Forward.

Today is my most important day in recovery. What i did yesterday for my recovery doesn't help me much for today. Its about staying focused on today, and taking the actions for recovery today, that will help me stay sober today.

Please stay in touch with us.

Moish

reallygettingthere wrote:


I think I need to let go of the controls, surrender to H', and let Him do the driving. We keep busting through the guardrails when I drive...

moish u.k. wrote:

What you said here seems to be key, at least post fall. Focusing on the fall doesn't serve me, and thinking about how much I need to rebuild my sobriety doesn't serve me either. Today is all H' cares about, so why should I care about anything else? The only ones keeping track are me and Him, and really only He needs to keep track. If He woke me up this morning He's saying the world needs me today, not yesterday or tomorrow, and He's going to help me today.

Hi HWMTS

I know Dov doesn't like hiding behind aliases and he feels it's an impediment to sobriety. Namely because it makes it takes you one more step from reality and truth two things that are necessary for recovery. Since I haven't posted by real name obviously that's a step I (and many others) haven't been willing to take. But to create a second user name because you are embarrassed about the first one? Isn't that a little extreme? Owning up to your identity even if that too isn't real might be a good first step.

me3 wrote:


Yes, it's extreme and a bit insane. I won't defend it. I'll just be honest and say I have a lot invested in my old name. There's my voice on the phone conference, people who know me on there, the work I've done with the participants over there. So, I'm scared to associate the 2. Is it necessary for my sobriety to keep the same name? If it doesn't serve me then I'll embrace my old name. I'm happy to share my name in PM if you want..

I hope what i'm about to say doesn't come across as kefira.

I work my program of recovery because it is what i want, and not because Hashem wants me to.

I used to try to stop acting out because Hashem wants me to, because of my wife, my yiddishkeit, the toirah, my kids, my rov, my therapist etc etc... But me? Somewhere deep down was the "me" who i discovered actually wanted to act out.

What a miserable existance i was in.

I tried very hard. But for the wrong reasons.

I had to dig deep and decide i want to be healthy and functional. Acting out leaves me in a dark and horrible place.

So, even if i was living before Matan Toirah, even if i was single, even if i would find heteirim etc i don't want act out anymore.

I don't need to know your name, I think it would be good for you to own up to your identity, but that just my opinion and I'm far from an expert on these things so if you want ask somebody else.

Most importantly wishing you much Hatzlacha today!

HeWantsMeToSucceed wrote:

so what if u fell who cares hiding is not going to help it just makes it worst are u in sa hatzlocha