Aasiq the Poet

 in a relationship,
which comes
first,
love or lust.
simple lust
you get
when you whore,
pure love
you meet,
when
you resolve
to end together.
most of the
relationships
fall midway,
when lust
predominates
in a relationship,
doubts and jealousy take over,
discord rules.
when love dominates,
harmony prevails,
a single heart beats
in both the bodies,
the call of flesh recedes,
the voice of spirit
resounds.

one last poem for now

LAST 2 PARAGRAPHS SAYS ALOT.


Desire by Tess Rockenstire 



 
  Self-love unexplained desire
In our creative mind.
We want what we don’t have,
Unhappy of past achievements.

Like a dog we drool
Longing - that is not meant to be.
Lust and desire
They come like fire.

Like a fire that burns within,
We put wood to keep the fire burning.
It becomes a bigger fire,
As we fanned wood in the fireplace.
We flirt, and comes the enticement
A false reward of that desire.
Loneliness, unfulfilled dreams,
Create a lust to want more.

There’s a good desire
That comes from God.
A desire to serve others
And to love selflessly.

We all lust and wants,
All comes from that desire.
We’re like a wounded soldiers
Wants freedom, with no war,
But there’s war within,
The marriage of lust and desire is a bigamy.

yechida
wow
but where in the world do you find these things. you seem to have a black hat full of stories and books and poems.

Today was mostly a review of what we'd discussed before but with a little less theory andmore practical.

As we've said before,our need to be in control is our downfall.
Imagine it like this:
Your life and actions is a real-time movie and you are in the audience.
Which row are you in?
The answer for most of us is:the first row.
We are watching closely to make sure nothing that could "harm" us gets by.
We're always ready to go into defense mode.
Escape mode.
Secure mode.

Maybe we should just chill.
Take a step back.
Or a few rows back.
And let ourselves live.
And maybe we will shock ourselves.
We'll see that we really have what it takes to make it.
And we will build trust in ourselves.

That's why Rav Shlachter speaks often of going out and "living life".
We gotta be active and do things that make us feel good about ourselves.
At that point,we could trust ourselves a bit more and relax our "big brother" mode.
It's the opposite cycle of what got us into this mess.

We also continued last week's discussion of how our fantasies reveal our deepest desires and needs.
I find this particularly helpful cause when I have some improper thought,instead of feeling really angry at myself and ashamed I stop and say "look,I feel a lacking of something.I want to give myself that something in it's real form,not in some illusory way".
We must accept ourselves and our needs,not be ashamed of them,or ignore them.

Wishing everyone a chag kasher vesameach
-uri

Thanks Uri for the session.

Please don't forget to bill me for it.

I guess you can PM me with the bill.

kutan

PS: please keep them coming, even if I'm slow in paying.

Its okey.
Four yoo my leetel sheep
i geev yoo nombear won deel
Yoo ownlee to paying half de money.
Eez okey?

Thanks for you kindness.

I think you can keep #1000 after all.

Hugs,
kutan

After a break for the chag,I returned on Wednesday to my therapist.
Although most of the meeting was about my own personal life and details,I will share the yesodos we discussed.

Firstly, it is very hard to learn trust in ourselves when we are in a volatile environment.
We need to be in a safe and comfortable zone in order to feel able to "let go".
Later,this will change. But for starters, it's important to put ourselves in places as often as possible in which we feel good.
That's also why Rav Shlachter permits patients to masturbate at night (edit by admin: only in very specific cases, for a limited time during the therapy period, as a last-resort option, and not to be tried at home). Because then they feel more secure during the day knowing they have that security at night to go to.

Second, all of life is:
Insecurity=Fear=Control
This is his shitta and you don't have to agree with it.
Almost all arguments happen because of the clash of two people's controls.
Marital arguments especially.
You know that feeling that you mamesh can't give in to the other person?
That's because you feel a threat of your existential security.
And a person most often cannot give that up.
It's like telling a person to just try to stop breathing and see what happens.

There was more,but I forgot right now.
When I remember,ill post,iy'h

URI SENT ME THIS TO POST - THANK YOU URI!

Someone requested a summary of my meetings with Rav Shlachter,so here's a summary of yesterday's meeting.Just copy and paste it,please.If this is edited,even for spelling mistakes,there will be no more summaries henceforth.
Shkoyach,Rebbe

Notes from this week's meeting with my Sex Addiction Therapist

Our addiction has become the only life we know.
Real life has become "blah".
It's nothing. If we feel it,it's pain and sadness.If we don't feel it,it's depressing.
Sex is our life.
We have traded life for sex.

Our mission is to connect to life again.
To experience life as it is,with all it has to offer.
To enjoy it.
To give life what we got.
To feel good.
To feel good with life.

Life has become black and white.
Or it's pain.
Or we shut off.
Do we need to feel pain and anxiety so acutely?
Either we are in the front row or we leave the cinema. (see earlier meetings)
Of course we choose to leave.The front row makes you dizzy.

Just let go.
There are other colors.
Blue.
Red.
Green.
Yellow.
Crayola.

We have conditioned ourselves to react to fear and anxiety in a certain way.
We have our brain ready at all times to detect any sign of negative emotion,ready to send signals to the heart to hide.
Let's step back.
Chill.
We don't need to run.
Emotions are okay.
Life has emotions.
Some are intense.
Some are less intense.
We need to let them be felt.
Acknowledge their existence.

Announce to yourself:
Right now I feel anxious.
Right now I feel angry.
Right now I feel scared.
Right now I feel happy.

By closing yourself from negative emotions, you are also missing out on really feeling the positive emotions.

Connect to life.
Give.
Do what makes you feel good.
Now your security is in your connection to life.
Which is really you.
Your security will strengthen the more you connect to life in a positive way.
It's a process.
But it's a process well worth undergoing.

And as you begin to life and enjoy life and all that it has to offer, lust will not even interest you.
Shall I choose life?Or sex?
There's no competition bichlal.

Take a walk outside.
Chillax.
Let the beauty of the world overtake you.
See the children laughing.
And think:
I'm a part of that.
Gevaldig.

Gone but far from forgotten!

Beautifuly written as always Uri. (I left the typos!)

You have a way of expression which is a gift from Hashem.
May you always use it correctly.

and what strikes me as very important is not to close yourself off your negative emotions or you will miss out feeling the positive ones

you have to allow yourself to feel it

not block it out

allow them to be felt

acknowledge their existence.

and then let it go

there is alot more here but I'm just repeating this one

because it speaks to me

Thank you Uri

for sharing this.

thanks Uri!
we really appreciate anything you can pass on through R' guard.
hey, I have this genious idea!!
why don't you post it yourself???????????

miss ya!

I'm telling you, dealing with teenagers is like trying to nail jelly to a tree... 

Happy 21st, Uri!  ;D

guardureyes wrote on 23 Oct 2009 11:04:


By now, he's 21+!  :D

Great post, Uri/Guard!
Thanks for sharing!
it's really benefficial for me to read it!
Good Shabbos!