I have heard many variations of your self-described rationalization. At the end of the day, it is possible. Many have done it. Get involved in positive activities and it will be reduced. Make gedarim so you are not tempted etc.

Read the handbook, post here etc. It's not easy, but it is possible. And convincing yourself that you have a sexual neeed that you can't express is both false, and counterproductive.

I know how you feel. I've been there. Don't think too much. It's a tool of the Y"H.

Keep posting.

I love chapter 4 of the 'Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.' To introduce step 4 he writes a short essay on the human condition. In short he writes that we have all been given certain instinct by G-d that serve a purpose. However they become a problem when they are misused or overindulged.

"Nearly every serious emotional problem can be seen as a case of misdirected instinct."

Yes we have been given an instinct for sex, without it the human race would not continue. But when this instinct is misdirected or overindulged it can cause problems.

Also to share on what others have said, I am noticing more and more how I lust when I feel sore over something. I always thought I just got the feeling every so often, randomly. I was just feeling lustful that day. Now I notice much more how when my boss chews me out in the morning I feel like fantasising over my co-worker in the afternoon. When my wife gets upset with me I feel like watching porn. It was never random. I was using lust as a drug to cover over the feeling of being inadequate, unworthy, alone and afraid.

shomer bro wrote:


So if that's the truth about you (and me) what are you doing about it?

Staying busy, seeing a therapist, going to a weekend workshop, etc.