Mevakesh:

  What you say about chazal is 100%  emmes. Everything they say was Aish. But, we cannot forget what else they say... about "yeridas hadoros".
   Each dor is weaker then the previous one. This is a FACT. This is why the achronim cannot take apart the rishonim etc, the amoraim cannot start up with the tannaim. Why, because they are in a different and lower place. So, we say, I was not zocheh to understand him. He was 100% perfectly correct, and I  was the one that didn't understand.
   In fact in the sefer Shomer Emunim, he states as we have seen in other musar seforim written by achronim. "I am not writing anything different then what chazal have written. NO chidushim,but, due to our lowly state, we are unfortunately not able to completely understand their words. So, I am writing in a way for our dor to understand.

me,

Of course we have "Yeridos hadoros", but that doesnt mean that every word of Chazal didn't have that Yeridah in mind. The Torah is timeless, the Divrei Chazal, which are an extension of the Torah are timeless, Klal Yisroel is timeless and of course  Hashem Himself  is timeless.

We must follow the guidance of the Rabbanim and Chachamim of each generation in knowing how to use the words of Chazal to apply them to our specific situation and our particular time period. But, Chas V'Shalom to say that any words of Chazal "Don't apply in today's days..." Chas V'Shalom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chazak V'Ematz!

B'H i think its twelve strong days and going strong!i'm going w\ what you all said and counting anyway till 90. i'm feeling better but i still have this feeling in the back of my head that i could slip back any time.but B'H i am feeling good and i started helping others w/ this issue . i'm determined to break this into the open so people don't suffer in silence.we need to get people to open up, to share .the hiding is the most deadly part of it and once that is behind you a huge battle is already won.people need to know how many weresuffering like them but have beat it .i told someone and they didn't believe me!one more day clean.one day i'll be saying i haven't touched myself in an asur way in 8 yrs. 8 yrs !can you imagine the kedusha !i 've just started the road and i already feel big S'D in my life and learning !i want this to continue!

Nice Guy! We love you! I was worried, we hadn't heard from you in a few days on the forum... You are doing great! If the Satan had any dark Gezeiros on Klal Yisrael planned Chas Veshalom for this year Rosh Hashana, between you - niceguy, Jack, battleworn, Mevakesh and Elya - the Satan won't even be able to open his mouth this year!!

niceguy,

If you want it to continue it will continue. Please keep us posted because we all love you and care about you. I'm glad you're following jack's thread, because everything there goes for you too. Personally I'm very confident that you'll make your 90 day goal (7776000 seconds!!!). CHAZAK VEAMATZ, you're going to demolish the vicious malicious menuval and we're with you every step of the way. And more importantly Hashem is with you, speak to him all the time!!! Kesiva Vachsima Tova and please daven for all of us.

i'm still going strong but feeling weak B'h nothing done, but if my internet wasn't blocked i'd be finished.sometimes i just check in the hopes that  my wife forgot to lock it .(B'H she didn't ).i feel dirty when i do that.were keeping it up in the hopes that even that drive will pass. 

The drive will pass.  You can't expect to erase years of this with only a few days of sobriety.  Also
when sharing with others, please be careful for your own sake.  Love addiction is a much nicer way
to say it than, sex addiction, even though there are differences.  I've told only a handful of people,
even my older kids that I "have a problem with the internet."  That's it.  They get the message.

Please be careful about spilling out all the details to unsafe people.

Elya, to what are you refering about niceguy calling it "sex addiction"? He didn't say anything too open now, at least not on this thread of the forum... Did you mean maybe on the phone last night? Speaking of which, niceguy, are you on the line each week? I hope you take advantage of this, even though it means getting up 4 AM once a week. It is better than having to join a non-religious, mixed group in downtown Jerusalem...

Also Niceguy, "checking to make sure it's blocked" is typical of addictions. Make sure your wife understands how you appreciate her help, and make sure she understands that how important it is too you that she DOESN'T TRUST YOU - because you don't trust yourself! These urges will leave you after a while... you will start to feel much more free!

i know you're right elya. i wasn't expecting it to dissapear over night . just gaining stength through sharing the feeling.i'm not sure what i said wrong yet but i can definitely imagine saying something wrong b/c for me the main healing is in my saying it out.when i express it it loses a lot of power over me . i feel a strong need to get the guilt off and be free of it.But i know i must be sensetive of others ,so how do i balance this?saying "i have a problem" just won't cut it for me. 

niceguy,

That's what we're all here for, so speak your heart. You know, the fact that you check is not a chidush. But the fact the you're waging war against such a powerful force, now that's a chidush. And you haven't given up even though you're feeling weak, that's a huge chidush. Don't forget to thank Hashem that your wife didn't forget, that itself is a powerful tool.The midrash says (shir hashirim 7, 1) that those who stand up and prevail over the despicable menuval, the whole generation depends on them.
CHAZAK VEAMATZ

18 days and i lost it .it was stupid .i didnt even want it. i almost forced it on myself.theres a huge amount of pressure in my house right now for $ reasons.B'h it passed today and i found out some new things about myself that are useful for me.my relationship has improved, but i find that when the crunch was on i wanted to escape.not financial  pressure, emotional .no news there.tomorrow is day 1 of recovery.i need a frum group. i cant wake up at 4 and i cant take a whole day to goto a meeting .theres got to be a way.its becoming harder for me to spend time at the computer.still 18 days is longer than it ever was .i forgot to doven and let g-d run the the show.a k'siva vechasima tova to all.doven 4 me, niceguy ben nicedad.

Nice Guy...we are all proud of you for how far you've gotten. 18 days is a long time! I have yet to go that long...but hopefully soon (i'm on 14 and counting! A new record for me!)

The best thing to do after failure is to step back and see if you can learn from it...and you did that! Congratulations!

I too notice that when I'm under a lot of pressure or when I feel down on myself...and cant help but try to escape! But we need to face our problems head on!

I have a calendar on the wall near my computer where I "X" out the days as i go...its amazing how much that helps! I can see my progress right in front of my eyes...and when i want to give in, I take a look at this calendar to see how far I've gotten. This gives me so much strength...and I can tell myself: "Look how far I've gotten! Let me try to extend my streak one more day". 

I wish you the best...and a shana tova!

Keep it up...see if you can break 18 days!

wow. 18 days is a looong time! In the bad old days, I was lucky if I was able to go 18 hours!

This time you lost the battle after 18 days, but the war is not lost at all. Actually, the fact that you are upset at yourself, and are saying how silly it was is a step in the right direction.

In the old days, you wouldnt even have made a point of feeling bad!

Keep up the good work, and tell the yetzer hara that 5768 may have been a good year for him, but 5768 is YOUR year!!! and he is toast!

In this week's Parsha it says the words that are our battle cry: CHAZAK V'EMATZ!!!!

P.S. PLEASE NEVER FORGET TO DAVEN. HASHEM RUNS OUR LIVES, WHETHER WE REMEMBER OR NOT.

The "Beer Mayim Chayim" says that, in the army when they would want to test a great soldier to see if he's fit to be a general, they would put him on a wild horse that it's impossible to not be thrown off from. The whole test was to see how fast he can get back up after he was brutally thrown down and wounded. That, he says, is the way Hashem tests His "Special Force" soldiers.

So you did CHAI days, that's a bombastic accomplishment. Now you can do 5 times chai.
It's very good that you have it clear how the rotten, sadistic menuval got you this time. Now you can work on a plan to avoid that happening again. (Perhaps learning a good sefer on Bitachon.) Gemar Chasima Tova, please doven for all of us and keep us posted.

Niceguy, we want to hear from you... I put up some of your nice posts on our site. See here.

I've had you in mind in all my teffilos by the Maras Hamachpela, Kever Rachel, Shmuel Hanavi, the Kosel and even on Yom-Kippur at Neilah. And I'm sure I'm not the only one!