reb guard - I have a filter installed, the K9 - trouble is, I know the password, and i dont think i can change it - even if i could change it, i sometimes need to unblock certain things or else my father will go crazy(he needs the net for his job, hence the reason i have internet at home). I also have the ad-blocker, but that's not password-protected. It does work very well though - but i still need a way of avoiding thowse 'little' falls i mentioned before.

bardichev - i used to, when i watched dirty videos and pictures, also have an addiction to youtube in the worst ways - i even found a pritzusdige video of my former girlfriend on there, which gave th yatzer ammunition for weeks back when i was being pogem(over a year and a half again, bli ayin hara)

I cant block out youtube entirely, since my father will yel at me if I do - i dont kno what do do. baruch hashem im going back to yeshiva about a week and a half from now - there there's no internet, no shmutz..kulo kedushah.

HEY I WAS NOT HIRED TO BE A MASHGIACH HERE

BUT.. BUT.. I HAVE A FEELING I AM TALKING TO A "BAAL SECHEL"

LISTEN BAAL SECHEL WHAT EVER YOU DO MAKE SURE THE SECHEL IS PULLING YOUR HEART http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3007/2803252141_1eaf15e08e.jpg

b

Reb Guard - I was looking at the divrei yoel in honor of the Satmar Rov zy"a's yartzeit today(well, yesterday), and wouldn't you know..HKB"H sent me to his toirah on nedorim!  i576.photobucket.com/albums/ss208/matisyahuglenn/DY-nedorim.jpg - this is the maskanah after a very in-depth piece. He ends up sayin for a davar mitzvah, it's ok, or during an eis tzarah r"l, and it's always ok for gedolei hador, even stam.

Reb B.

2 knockout punches, 1 after the other. ingenious!

E.L.

Holy Bachor you merit is [b]HUGE[/b].

Don't go to shul daven beyichedus. Many holy people did. The Goan of Vilna writes that if you will talk lashon hara in shul that you shouldn't go. find another shul. even if you have to walk a mile. It is not only the zona it is your LIFE on the LINE

10-4

BUT DONT DAVEN IN THE COMPUTER ROOM
b

Rabbi B that would be worse than davening in church

IF GUE IS ON IT MAY BE QUITE HOLY

it's not holy. its a spark of holyness in a see of filth

holy yid - I dont think that's a good enough reason to daven beyechidus. Lashon hora is a lo saaseh(actually, several), so it;'s for sure docheh tefilah betzibur. Plus, the vilna gaon would for sure say that it's better to go somewhere else, a different shul, instead 'ain tefilaso shel odom nishmas ela betzibur', - it's also a halacha according to the overwhelmin majority of poskim, except one yachid, and even that yachid says it's an amazingly great thing to do - many rebbeh's did things we can't do. they davened after the zman, and other things - but the halacha remains the same for us. They had their hoicheh cavanos and kedushah - i have my atzlus.

I appreciate the advice though - so far my system is woking. I go to the corner, look far down the block to see if her friends are there; if not, then i proceed and walk very fast.

Tonight i passed by, saw she wasnt there, and walked past her den of impurity - she was there though, but she wasn't interested in bugging me because she had already caught a customer(she has a table for palm reading right inside the door, a few inches away), so it seems that anytime she'll be inside she wont care becuse she'll be busy with a customer, and if she's outide looking for customers, i will see her and be able to walk down the other street.

My Holy Bachor [b]YOU ARE RISKING YOUR LIFE[b]. You are an addict. You are sick. Your addiction will [b][font=Verdana][font=Verdana][color=brown]KILL YOU[b] if you don't control it. Please ask a Rav who understands addiction. People with OCD have been told that they are [i]putor[i] from davening period. That comes from the biggest poskim( I am not trying to pasken here just making a point).

Would you tell someone you love to follow your advice? If why do you love yourself less? Are you sure its not the Yetzer Hara telling you all this?

I heard in the name of one of the Gedolai Hamusar of the last dor that if someone ate in a non kosher restaraunt teshuva would not be to not eat there again, it would be to never walk down that street again.

I don't quite understand what OCD has to do with davening with a minyan - those poskim were talking about people who have a mental illness where they can't stop thinking about whether or not they had kavanah for every letter of shemoneh esrei, or if they covered their whole hands by washing - it's a different sort of issue, I think. I'm still mechuyav to daven - plus, I have another reason for being makpid. I used to, up until recently, hardly ever daven with a minyan - somtimes I would sleep past shacharis even bedieved, and totally miss out. I took myself by force and said that I was missing out on too much kedushah - too much t miss by being lazy and davening beyechidus

For me, a tool I use in fighting my yatzer is just blotting out the option - it's not that tefilah betzibur is a chiyuv, and I need to work on it - no, it is no longer an option to miss tefilah betzibur(of course, I also know how to react if i do without breaking down), but I cannot allow myself to take seriously that possiblity - it will mean the ruin of my entire tefilah schedule - im that way, if there's even a small, tiny tzad not to do something i really should be doing, I'll jump on it - like learning - I should be learning now, why aren't I? because in my messed up head, 'bitul keday seyiskayam' is a heter for pretty much the entire day that ive been battel-ing. I am really, realy happy that ive been davening with a tzibut lately - i cannot give that up. For me, it's a huge nisayon to daven betzibur just like it's a nisayon to keep my eyes/mind clean - I am mechuyav to daven with a minyan, although I could daven in a different shul - there's a young israel even closer to my house, on the opposite direction of the avenue where the zonos are - i sometimes daven minchah there, but not maariv, because they do it 2 seconds after minchaha which is only a bedieved -standard heter of tirchah detzibura - I dont like it, so I leave after minchah, and I go to the shtiebel which has the above issue for maariv about an hour later. I should really ask a rov - now my shailoh is just about missing out on davening in the lechatchila zman.

plus, this will be a non-issue within about 1 and a half weeks - im going back to yeshiva(I dorm there during the year), where ill be far away from these people. Plus, my addiction was never to sex itself - aside from the girl i mentioned above, i never had any other 'relationships' - my main problems were being pogem, histaclios, and machshavos.

I don't think of myself as sick - rather, I could inject a sickness pf tumah into my otherwise tahor neshoma, like the Alter of Slabodka said to his talmidim, that they should repeat 'elokai neshoma shenasata bi, tehorah hi', over and over and over until it sinks it that it shouldn't even be shayach to so a sin, why? because the neshoma, me, is tahor! so what shaychus is there to tumah? Seforim say across the board that the neshoma be'etzem is not effected by averos - rather, it's covered up in klipos, bloking out kedushah and so forth - a poison for the neshoma for sure, but not the same as one would think.

This is the mehalach I always learned - I'm not about to reaarange my neshoma and take on a different one - it's been painful in the past to change hashkafos - I don't see the necessity; not to mention the fact that I haven't seen any seforim suggest such a thing(to think one's self is sick)

Of course my life is at stake - it's at stake when I go out the door, or even when I do just about anything except learn/daven/do other mitzvos. I need to ask a rov about this, but it seems pretty pashut that I should just daven at the YI - i didn't mention that there is such a shul in my previous posts, I should have.