The Library

I always wished I could save that horrible, sickening feeling of shame and regret after the aveirah in a container, and then I could open it the next time I am thinking about acting out, and it would remind me and wake me up like a cold shower and surely prevent me from...

ADDITIONAL TOOLS FOR RECOVERYIMPROVE RELATION WITH SELFEMERGENCY TOOLS 1. Short prayer, "I'm powerless, please G-d help me!"2. Move somewhere else. (Get away from the trigger!)3. Pick up litter.4. Sing (or hum) a favorite tune. Or listen to music.5. Call someone from the ...

We all know the sick feeling of regret we all feel after the sin has been committed, and it hurts and makes us feel really depressed and sick, especially, immediately afterward. Then, as time causes us to forget, the feeling goes away, and the sin happens over and over ...

Roughly six months ago, I watched a particularly riveting porn scene (please God, that was the last one). I could not get the images out of my mind. Whenever I shut my eyes, there they were. Then I remembered from when I was young and scary thoughts/images would fri...

In the world of sensory stimulation – sounds, smells and images – eyes are our primary interface with the world. Eyesight accounts for 80% of what we learn and 80% of our memories. We need to choose our images wisely, as the Torah exhorts: "Don't stray after your heart an...

Rabbi Azriel Ariel, of the the Israeli organization Hotam, which works to propose Halachic solutions to societal problems, has called to address the phenomenon of romantic relationships in the workplace. He stressed the need to create a behavioral code that will prevent u...

1) Always guard your eyes carefully during the day. 2) Guard yourself from lustful thoughts. 3) The Kitzor Shulchan Aruch offers advice on preventing keri like reciting the first four Psalms before going to bed, and not overeating before retiring to sleep, and avoiding ...

I just want to respond to someone who said that he "just can not say no (to lust)." I am a member of Sexaholics Anonymous. What works for me is realizing that I am totally NOT in control and only God can get me out of this. Therefore, whenever I feel "I just can't say no,...

I go to Las Vegas twice a year for a business convention. This past time I decided that I had enough of the seedy Strip and instead I stayed at the La Quinta in Summerlin, next door to Rabbi Wyne’s Shul (Young Israel of LV). I really enjoyed myself. I was able to sit ou...

Thank you for your mail. It helps me to find the strength to face this situation, without being overwhelmed. I knew that being mad and so upset was neither appropriate nor helpful reaction to his fall, but I could not find my way out of my painful feelings. When I read yo...

If you're reading this, it's likely that you've been struggling with Shmiras Ainayim for years with ups and downs, and can't seem to get a full grip on it. Well, you're not alone. This is one of man's greatest struggles, and all the more so for people who already became...

It says in the Sefarim that Zos Chanukah is the G'mar - the sealing of the judgement and the last chance for those who still haven't been able to do Teshuvah since Rosh Hashana... I wanted to share something from personal experience. For years, I had difficulty to avo...

I wrote to you a few months ago telling you about the book "Breaking the Cycle". At that point, I wasn't ready for your approach on GYE. I needed to deal with the addiction without any mussar. This book greatly helped me, but it wasn't enough. A few weeks ago I looked th...

Realize the effect masturbating has. This will be different for every person. For me, immediately I’m high, drunk, lost inside myself. Self-pleasure is mine, mine, mine. It leads me to sexualise every person that crosses my path. No longer are they human, they’re w...

Are you new to recovery? If you are reading this and you answer this question with a solid yet resigned YES, walking into a 12-step meeting can be overwhelming. The sights, the sounds, the smell of strong coffee, strangers engaging in recovery speak that sounds like a...

Several months ago, a video went viral regarding pornography from an unlikely source. Comedian Russell Brand discussed his battle with porn, the negative effect it has had in his life, and his desire to have it out of his life. First, he shares his belief that: “Our atti...

*Take life one day at a time. *Separate worries from concerns. If a situation is a concern, find out what God would have you do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do anything about a situation, forget it. *K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut). This single piece of advice can pre...