The Library

Even if we started to slip, we can achieve the greatest levels of Kedusha by stopping ourselves from sliding further.

The first key to recovery is “acceptance.” We need to accept that we have a problem and that we need help. Otherwise, we will read through the Guard Your Eyes website and Handbook and say: “they aren’t talking about me.”

Everyone has these fantasies. Some people more, some people less. We are human beings and not angels.  If it bothers you that you struggle with these thoughts, that is already something to be proud of.  The moment we start to look at ourselves in a positive light, we will see that the fantasies will come much less often.

We have often discovered that we were trying to fight only the Yetzer Hara, rather than building and changing ourselves. For true long term success, we must learn to fight the cause of the bad behaviors and not just the symptoms.

This struggle is the fertile soil that our “true” selves will grow out of. And through it, we learn how to give our hearts over to Hashem. And hopefully we will be able to look back one day and say that it was all worth it.

We are unlikely to succeed if we try to fight the Yetzer Hara head on.  Just like terrorists are often successful because they don’t try to fight a big army head on, we must also learn to apply guerilla warfare and pre-empt the Yetzer Hara.

GuardYourEyes uses a unique approach to help people, by recognizing that there are many different levels in the struggle for “Shmiras Ainayim” and “Shmiras Habris”. Use the “Nutshell” to find what level you identify with most, and what recommendations would be most appropriate for your level.

The Yetzer Hara's job and goal is to cause us damage, and to do this he was given permission to use pleasure and "Sipuk" (fulfillment) as a bluff to be able to harm us. But we must understand that his seductions are like a terrorist offering us a piece of cake to ensnare us.

Nothing worthwhile comes without hard work.  One of the greatest obstacles stopping a person from changing is the notion that it can be done without a lot of investment.  We tend to forget that our whole purpose on this world is to grow and improve.

By nature, we go to what feels good and try to avoid pain.  Pleasure and suffering are both part of life. But we get to choose which pleasures we want and which suffering we want.

If we find that we keep falling into inappropriate behaviors that go against our conscience and better judgment, and we have tried countless times to stop in the past but always seem to fall back to them in the end, then we are probably struggling with an addiction.

The biggest obstacle to succeeding is not believing you can succeed. The first impediment to overcoming this struggle is not in your genes, your childhood or your environment. If you believe you can succeed and are willing to make the effort, you will find the way out.  Absolutely NOTHING stands in the way of a true RATZON.

Almost everyone struggles with lust on some level, and a high percentage have stumbled in these areas as well.  In the GYE community, you will find thousands of religious Jews like yourself, struggling in these areas.

Often we are aware of how serious these sins are, yet our “Fear of Heaven” alone isn’t always enough to stop us when faced with an attack of lust. It’s not that we don’t fear Hashem, but will power alone is often not sufficient when dealing with these extremely addictive behaviors.

Deciding to stop does not mean that we won’t ever fall again or that we’ll succeed in staying stopped forever on our first try. However, it does mean that we are committed to trying, by being open minded to internalizing the principles and tools discussed in this program which have helped hundreds, if not thousands, break free.

When a newcomer first comes to the GYE network, they can easily be overwhelmed and feel lost. It is often hard for the newcomer to pinpoint exactly how "addicted" they really are, and what kind of steps are the most appropriate for them to try. In the GYE Program, we have attempted to put together a guide of the practical tools that we in the Guard Your Eyes community have found useful, in progressive order.

The struggle with lust is a struggle with the deepest human emotions. And therefore, fixing these emotions fixes a person deeper than anything else.  The foundation of a building is underground and no one sees it, but it holds up the entire building.  If the foundation of a Jew is weak, his whole spiritual structure is fragile and in grave danger of collapse.