Nutty Frosted Flake.

imtrying25 wrote on 22 Dec 2009 12:37:


I think that's called muslix.  ;D

Eye.nonymous wrote on 22 Dec 2009 12:32:


Wow, that's POWERFUL... If you would have added just one more zero, it would be so powerful that I would have included it in a Chizuk e-mail!

Im very happy to see your zeroing on the addiction, caterpillar.

guardureyes wrote on 22 Dec 2009 12:56:

LOL Guard! ..don't know why, but I can't stop chuckling...oh. Just stopped......bye!

I was fishing around to see if I ever posted my story here.

This is basically it (provided I managed to copy the link correctly):

rehab-my-site.com/guardureyes/forum/index.php?topic=634.0

For the sake of completion, I thought I would tag it onto this thread.

I merged your original story thread with this one. How's that? 

Eye,

Keep up the good work!!!!  Stay positive and keep going.

guardureyes wrote on 22 Dec 2009 23:00:


Hey Guard, that was really amazing.  Thanks.

Today is day 54.

My wife and I were discussing taking a family day trip for a while, but we didn't come up with anything definite yet.

This morning, we realized that today would be a good day.

But, then we discussed all the drawbacks, and all the difficulties in getting ready on such short notice.

A while ago I would have just given up in frustration.

But, with all the work I've been doing on myself through this forum, I was able to calmly face the challenge AND enjoy the trip.  I really tried to relax and enjoy the pleasure of being with my wife and children (instead of focusing on the difficulties of dealing with them, and on what I would have been accomplishing if I just stuck to my normal routine).  Some parts were frustrating, but overall, I did pretty good.  And I have no frustration or regrets about all the learning I didn't do today.  I'll just try to make up for some of it whenever I get a chance.

I enjoyed the trip much more than I ever would have before.

  --Eye. 

Lucky you Eyeball. Happy to hear you were able to get away a little. And with the frustration. Now thats what i call a chilled trip. :D

Funny thing...

I've been trying to "do the 12 steps" for a while.  And often I try to keep the first 3 steps in mind.

But, I've neglected to really look at the other 9.

So I recently wrote them down to carry around with me, for frequent review.

I considered the "Moral inventory," and I wrote a bunch of character traits that I think need work.  It's all the things that trigger this lust addiction.

...and it was a day after I first made this list that I remembered...

...Hey, "LUST," should also be on this list!

I didn't make a superficial list.  I just was thinking of "lust" so much as being a symptom, and the other character traits--the triggers--as being the real problem, that I overlooked lust in the first round.

--Eye.

Cool insight.  Just keep working and thinking positive.  Those steps are tricky things and I for one keep saying, "Oh, I'll do step 3 today ."  It never works that way for me no matter how hard I try.

I have k9 filter and my wife has the password and Guard is the E-mail address for it.

This evening I accidentally found the password.  I was looking through my wife's daily planner to find the number for the doctor where she took our daughter because I needed to reach her.  On one page I saw written, "Password:  etc."

I went to work at the computer.  The thought entered my mind to see if this was really the computer password.  But, I feared one thing would lead to another.  Besides, I really felt that IT'S NOT THE POINT TO PLAY "BEAT THE SYSTEM."  THE POINT IS--TO STAY CLEAN!!!  I'm not just trying NOT TO LOOK at this stuff, I'm trying to work on myself SO I DON'T WANT TO LOOK at this stuff.  And, I feel that I have made significant progress.

I didn't want to let my GUARD down.

My wife came home, and right during dinner I told her that I think I discovered the k9 password.  Right after dinner I asked her to go to the computer and change it.

She said I should write about it on the forum.

  --Eye.

Reb Eye,

You are quite possibly the luckiest man in the world. It's so obvious why, that there is no need to spell it out.

But just in case you are sufferring from the dreaded "intermittent brain numbness", here goes:

You recongize your powerlessness;
You call out for help when you need it;
Your survival is more important to you than your kavod from others;
You are open with your wife;
You have a wife who truly loves you;
You have a wife who is smart;
You use your problems to draw you closer to others and to Hashem.

How bad can things ever get for a person with gifts like these?

Though you may do or have none of these perfectly, at least you've got 'em. You are going places!
Precious.