13 days!
So many thoughts and feelings. I have a few minutes so I will try to write some down here.
Wow, it's been a while since I've passed the 6-7 day mark and I hope that this current streak takes me to 90 (and after that sobriety for life) for the first time in 11 years!!
MY YH is probably pretty POed that I've fallen from his evil, hungry clutches and I'm sure he's still scheming and conniving, trying to come up with new methods how to get me to fall.
Bh these last 2 weeks he's been pretty quiet, but I will not fall for his tricks. I've armed myself for WAR this time and he won't know what's coming when he tries to fight.
I may have lost a few battles in the past, but with hashems help I will win the war. 
This time we're IN IT TO WIN!!! 
Go big or go home!!
Lchaim friends on two weeks (tomorrow night)!

I will bezras hashem try to write here about my war as often as I can, I feel it helping my mood already!!

Feel free to comment or share tips that I can add to my arsenal.
Signing off, your chaver, inittowin.

Incredible!
What are some of the things already in your arsenal?
Hatzlacha

l'chaim reb in it to win!

Hatzlacha

BenHashemBH wrote on 31 Jul 2024 12:43:

Well to start with, thanx to the new app I finally have unlimited access to gye! I am gaining a lot of chizzuk just reading through the forum and doing the f2f program.
Secondly, I have finally changed over from thinking "this is something that I love doing and it's an outlet and everytime I hold back I'm depriving myself" to "this is something that's bad for me physically and spiritually  it's just the stupid YH trying to suck me down and everytime I hold back I am gaining נצח נצחים."
I don't feel deprived after these 2 weeks like I may have felt in the past, I feel empowered and like I can take over the world.
This mindset change was not an instant shift, it comes after a few months of working on myself in other areas and finally being at peace with myself. Now I have decided to tackle this monster for once and for all.
Another thing that I feel helped me tremendously, (not just in this war, but in my life in general) is learning a paragraph a day from the shaar habitochon of chovos ha'livovos. I started that after reading Rubashkins book. I thought to myself, "and here I thought that I always had real bitochon, but after seeing what this guy did I realize that I can use serious chizzuk in that area". ( It's a great book, I highly recommend it).
Another thing that has helped me tremendously is my motivation to learn how to lead a clean life in preparation for marriage. I recently started shidduchim and I realized that when people say "marriage is not a hospital" they mean every bit of it. This motivation has been the strongest thing keeping me going so far. I don't want a life filled with emptiness where I can't fulfill my obligations to the people around me. 
Because of these things I absolutely feel that this time it's for real, I am optimistic that I will beat this and that I will grow from this! Then I will be able to look back and thank hashem for pulling me out of the mud.
Not sure if that answers your question, but these are some of the weapons in my arsenal.

There's work to be done, one precious day at a time!
I will not surrender this time around!
Cuz this time I'M IN IT TO WIN!!!!!

Yes!
It's not a habit change, it's a life change. You are not giving it up, you are living it up.
Inspirational stuff. KOMT!

inittowin wrote on 31 Jul 2024 19:26:

Late to the party again, wha'ever...
Welcome to GYE! 
It seems like you've made yourself right at home!
Here you will find, as you have found, many great tools to break free once and for all.
I love the positivity!

One tool that many people find to have tremendous power (which I didn't see you mention, but doesn't mean you don't use it) is the power of friends and connection. As you mentioned in your post (I bolded it), you are starting to date and will hopefully get married soon. 
There is a mentor here on GYE who's username is Hashem Help Me - HHM - who is the mentor-in-chief around here. He has helped hundreds, present company included. 
If you are seriously considering marriage now, please please please use every tool available to you to go into marriage in a place of cleanliness. 
I beg you, please reach out to HHM at michelgelner@gmail.com.
With your attitude, you wont regret it.

And don't forget...
KOMT!

Day 15

Bh I am happy to post that I spoke to harav Hhm on the phone today (thank you @py for giving me the final push I needed to make that call!) We had a most enlightening conversation and I hope it will be the first of many.
I also will take this opportunity to thank harav Hhm for speaking to me for over AN HOUR today and for giving of his time to help so many people day in and day out!!

For anyone reading this who has yet to take the plunge and call someone who can help, all I can say is that it's very worth it! So just reach out and take the plunge, you won't regret it.

Day 19:
Bh we're still trucking!!
Thinking of getting rid of Spotify, does anyone have any input?

Hatzlacha!!!
Inittowin.

inittowin wrote on 06 Aug 2024 00:27:

Yes. 

inittowin wrote on 06 Aug 2024 00:27:

Good idea. Oftentimes it’s our escape go to. 
What do you have in your escape room to substitute?

I second the motion! I listened to secular music for years as an escape; honestly nowadays you can find Jewish music that falls under all sorts of genres, all better than anything you're listening to on Spotify. Personally, I use the jewish Zing Music app, they have an incredible selection.

Markz wrote on 06 Aug 2024 01:08:

Was thinking either 24six or zing just not sure which is better (more user friendly, bigger selection etc.)

iwantlife wrote on 06 Aug 2024 01:13:

The only non-jewish music I listen to on Spotify is country. Otherwise I enjoy regular chassidish music or Israeli pop (which can technically also be classified as non-jewish... Lol). The problem with Spotify for me is not so much the music aspect of it but more the video podcasts etc...

I DID IT!!!!
Spotify is now officially uninstalled from my phone hopefully forever!!!

I've been tossing and turning for the last hour and a half while a fight raged in my head between the yh and the yt. Finally the yt put up the argument that silenced the yh: We all know that this world is temporary and we all know what's important and what isn't, Spotify is not important (in the grand scheme of things), so why should I have it when it's caused me to fall in the past and can very easily cause me to fall in the future??
One of the main reasons we are in this עולם השקר is to FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!

So that's when I decided that enough is enough and before the yh can dissuade me I quickly uninstalled the app!!
What will I do without Spotify? I don't know yet (hoping 24six and/zing music are worth something). But one thing is for sure, this time around we're IN IT TO WIN and sometimes you have to make sacrifices in battle.
That's it for now.      L'chaim!!!!!
(Maybe now I'll finally be able to catch some z's lol)

Wow wow wow! Congratulations! I personally use 24six and am very happy with it. They have quite a big selection though the don't have non religious singers such as Omer Adam and amir dadon and the like so if you listen to those artists... Regarding zing I am not familiar with them.
PS if you are a Carlebach fan 24six doesnt have him yet but zing does. Hatzlacha raba.