Hold on tight buddy. Hashem needs you. (and so do we...)

Day 25
Still listening to this conversation. Long but fascinating. He says how addiction or acting out isn’t the problem it’s the solution meaning why r u acting out. It’s because I’m trying to cope with something or escape something. So the reason I act out is the solution I have for the deeper problems. Once you figure out what that is you can figure out the correct way to respond and then you won’t need to go to p and m. Can’t write it all here but I am starting to really try to stay aware and figure out why I went to this and what I can do to respond in a healthy way. 

Day 26. 
crazy that I’m still here and going. Now that I’ve been clean for a while and I’m doing well still being vigilant, but trying to focus on the why and how to fix the deeper reasons.

funbuchur wrote on 28 Feb 2024 19:01:

It's the new normal for you! Enjoy your new reality. You are forging and trudging on, step by step, doing good emotional work and we are all rooting for you! (Gosh, it sounds like I swallowed the uniform of that cheerleader I was craving, somebody please pinch me back into my usual morbid nastiness)

Great to hear the good news 

Day 27 
Tomorrow is 28 and that’s the day reached last time i started the 90 day challenge. The difference is last time I really felt like I was exerting energy in NOT FALLING. but now that’s not really my focus and it feels a lot better. Not as stressful and nerve-racking.  

Great to hear the good news again

Day 30
I can’t believe I’m here writing this. 
I don’t wanna ruin this big milestone but last night I really had a slip and without my filter being good definitely would’ve fell all the way but bh I didn’t. 

Thank you everyone for being so supportive. It really helps the fact that I can update daily and have positive feedback and encouragement. This is just the beginning!  

Mazel Tov on 30. May Hashem help you turn that 30 into 300, and then 3000, and then..... Hatzlocha!

Day 31. 
This is uncharted territory for me. Gonna keep doing what I’ve been doing. 

Congratulations

Day 33
It has been getting easier. Baruch hashem. 

Great to hear

Day 34, 
I feel like I’m fighting a loosing battle. Yes I’m winning, but I have all these urges and desires that I’m literally just keeping it bottled up. I’m an bucher and not planning on getting married any time soon. People keep on writing here “when you get married it gets worse” how can that make sense I’ll have a positive outlet for this instead of having this constant fight. (Yes I read in battle of the generation how he explains winning can be a satisfaction more than anything, really hard to implement that) Am I delusional?
Or is it supposed to be this battle with no end till I get married. 

funbuchur wrote on 08 Mar 2024 00:47:

Fakish news
what is worse, is all the destruction that porn did to your brain,
you finally put into play, and destroy your marriage wife and yourself (worse),
so its more of a mess.
stay clean &classy, no messes.