Day 46, 
The first month of this part of my journey was elul, had a normal schedule and was starting off strong didn’t have time in my schedule to fall, was always around people,and made sure to have a structure to my day which led to an easier time. 
Now that it’s tishrei every day is something new, flying, eating, fasting, building, running around, sitting bored. I’ve had a rougher time, didnt fall, but a few close calls. I’m not sure the solution because making a schedule isn’t so possible being that I’m a bucher at home doing a bunch of random things. I’m starting to watch the vayimaen video every day because I need a little more chizzuk. Don’t think that enough but at least it’ll help a bit. 

How are you doing?

How are you doing, my friend?
We want to hear from you!

Sorry for not posting for a while. I was doing great had 50+ day streak going and everything was smooth. I had a fall for many reasons all the triggers aligned and that fall really messed me over was too upset to do anything about it. I know in truth it was one fall and I coulda got up right away but I didn’t, I fell a bunch of times over the next month and a bit and now my yetzer haras telling me I just don’t have it in me to beat this. Maybe there are two types of people, those who have the drive and will do whatever it takes and those who just don’t and will struggle forever. I don’t think I’m ready to do whatever it takes to get rid of this. I probably should have continued to post because from my experience even if I fall if I’m posting I still have encouragement and I’m still in the fight. Once I’m not posting or speaking to anyone i don’t stand a chance. Thats the ramble. Bikitzur I’m back and I’m Bez”h going to be posting updates. I’ll do my best and anyone with chizzuk or advice feel free to reach out. 
Day 1 כ׳ טבת 

funbuchur wrote on 20 Jan 2025 21:59:

So good to see you back!!! It makes me happy to see you pick yourself up and start fighting back. Again.

A small point, I think the red and bold are a direct contradiction.
I think the red is the עיקר and I think you do too...
You may not have worked up the courage and strength to do what ever you need to...yet.
My phone is ready for your call that time when you WILL have the courage and strength to reach out.

KOMT!
Lookin' forward to seein' great stuff from you!

Day 3 so far been having some strong urges but once I posted here I feel like I can’t fall already. Still working up the courage to reach out. 

You definitely do have it in you to beat this! Many, many others (myself included) have felt the way you feel, after going through a period of success but then falling - but then went on to discover that they really are capable of conquering the nisayon, with long-lasting results they never would have dreamed of. The forums are full of such stories. Just keep going and fighting and don't give up. (And stay in touch! Was concerned about you) You'll get there b'ezras Hashem. 
המצפה לישועת השם, 
Yekusiel

Restart. Had a fall.
I need to Actually do something and not wait for this to go away. 

My friend!
We are waiting for you with open arms!

There are many people here I can recommend you to reach out to: Eerie - 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com, Muttel - muttel15@gmail.com,   Reb Akiva - mevakesh247@gmail.com iwantlife - iwantlifegye@proton.me minhamayim minhamayim1@gmail.com

Looking forward to hearing from you soon!

Good to see you back. As a fellow yeshiva bachur I can empathize with you about the falls. But over all you were doing good and  were giving it your all. Be  cognizant that this is a battle over time. It’s an ongoing battle and you have had many successes. Continue posting and reaching out. There’s only one way to go and that is up. Continue shteiging and let us know how you are doing 

 

Like you said yesterday you should reach out. 

Day 1 
Bezh motzei Shabbos I will reach out. I will keep you updated 

Just skimmed through your whole thread. It's very inspiring to see how long you were fighting and you did not give up. A good idea would be to have a look on your GYE chart and see percentagewise how much times you fell. It will be nothing compared to the amount you spent fighting and winning.

You mention reaching out. I am telling you there is nothing like making friends that you can discuss the struggle freely with. It's amazing!

Rooting for you brother!

Hey just picked up on this thread your a huge inspiration !  With all your falls and the length of how long your fighting. But that in itself is a huge chizik for us. keep it going !!!!!        Just an aitsa toyva if you actually speak to someone you'll really develop a relationship (which happened to me and many others on here) and the fight is a million times easier   any time i have an urge  and im nervous ill fall i coul chervra from here its so powerful i promise.     Do it for yourself, do it for your kids , do it for us!!        With much love 

funbuchur wrote on 24 Jan 2025 21:37:

nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu????????????????????  i'm on shpilkas waiting to hear already!