Day #3.
Posting here to keep myself accountable.

Day #1. It's been about 34 hours!

As you can see from the day count, I have been struggling these last few weeks. I need to stick to the plan, daily posts, daily texts, putting away unfiltered devices, etc. This past week, I actually made a breakthrough with my personal organization and structure. I hope that the combination of being more intentional with the rest of my life plus sticking to my plan will yield better results.

I have to say though... I am pretty apathetic to this struggle at this point. When I was in kollel and afterwards before I joined GYE, I was masturbating and looking at pornography a whole lot more than now. Not only the frequency, but the sessions themselves were longer. I was so ashamed of myself. I didn't know what to do. Lots of prayers. Hopes. The struggle was on my mind all the time. At this point, my struggle doesn't really take up a whole lot of mental space. My reaction to a fall is typically nothing more than a shrug of the shoulders and a comment like "that was dumb" and then I move on with my life to all of the good that I put out into the world.

My most recent resolution was 30 days of daily texts, daily posts, etc. I'm going to knock that number down to five days. Tonight is Motzei Shabbos. Five days will be Wednesday night. I posted today. I'm going to send a text after I submit this and will do the same daily.

Day #2. Daily post.

Struggling. When I started my current role, I was given an unfiltered laptop and unfiltered smartphone. I was worried and had discussions with the IT department to find filtering solutions. Not going to happen. I reached out for support on GYE and through text and I was able to go a full calendar year without looking at pornography -- with easily accessible unfiltered devices. Now, easy access seems to be the main issue.

The only reason I am thinking about this topic now is because I am reaching out for help, support, and accountability. Otherwise, I don't have any desire for pornography and masturbation. I rarely to never think about it during the day. I am busy with my job, family, and other interests. But at 11:00 at night or later, when I am the last one up, and I have an urge, I indulge.

I don't want to do this anymore, so I am going to resolve to do the following:
1. Daily posts.
2. Daily texts.
3. Lock my workbag in my car overnight. <-- Obviously, I can just go outside and get it, but especially now that it is colder and opening and closing the door at that hour is a disturbance to my family members, I think it may do the trick.

Day #2. Staying accountable.

Day #3. Unfiltered devices are locked in my car. Staying accountable.

שבע יפול צדיק וקם wrote on 26 Nov 2022 23:32:

A gut vuch!
stay strong buddy! Don’t go to your car (unless your going to get rid off them )
even for something else cause we know how it works go get the flash light and then once your there… so just don’t go for anything till the morning…looking forward to see your happy post tomorrow that you stay strong!
but can I ask you chaver why you have such devices in your car like are you planning on selling them on Amazon ?!??

  Appreciate the messages you bring on the chat, I am eagerly khapping ur words geshmak!

I am rooting for you, B'hatzlacha Rabah. Keep it up, very impressed with your realisome you put to the table. Real contimplation and effort you have posted will bz'h affect you and also others only for the good, I am proud although it sounds weird because I don't have any kesher to you lol, but seeing the chashuvey oilam pushim and striving for gadlus is aa success on its own! Keep it up again I am rooting you on !!  

Hey! What’s up? How’d the night go????

Day #5. All good. See above for explanation re: unfiltered devices. Preventing access has helped me throughout my struggle, but sometimes we have access. I have had a long stretch, as I noted above, with unfiltered devices accessible. Just have to use other methods.

שבע יפול צדיק וקם wrote on 28 Nov 2022 02:17:

Amazing! Keep it up!
Btw love your username not the יפול part… but the part you call yourself a צדק!! Bh u know your real value…

Day #6. All good and staying accountable.

Day #7. Daily post. 

שבע יפול צדיק וקם wrote on 06 Sep 2022 00:59:

thanks, can I get in touch with you, appreciate the chizuk, I am at 7 days too