Tomorrow night works?

Welcome Back!- Another guy who also hasn't posted much in a while

Hey guys. Went to get my hug from HHM, which obviously led to a discussion about my porn usage. I promised him that I’d come up with a game plan this week but I haven’t really done anything about it since…

I’m struggling to get myself to call my filter company to reinstall my filter. Additionally I have a substantial “stash” of pornographic images saved to my phone that I have amassed over time. Some of it has strong sentimental value to me for various reasons, it’s a big nisayon for me to just get rid of all of it. I need to find the strength within myself to do what I know is right.

wish me luck,
OivedElokim

Good luck!

OivedElokim wrote on 13 Mar 2024 10:37:

I understand the attachment and sentimental value and the desire not to get rid of it for that reason. Things that are sentimental are tough to get rid of sometimes it’s even worth it to get rid of it because that sentimentality connects to things that are best if we cut the cord with. 
Good Luck on peeling off the bandaid and getting rid of it all at once and not incrementally like some of us.

OivedElokim wrote on 13 Mar 2024 10:37:

Powerful words. I find that sometimes, for me, it's not so much about finding the strength to do what I know is right , as opposed to what I feel like doing, , but maybe more importantly, it's about sorting through and figuring out what I really want, what's my bottom-line underpinning desire. 
We tend to do what we want to, more than what we know we ought to. But it's often hard to sort the mess of conflicting wants, drives, needs, and desires... what i want out of living...

My best,
Chaim

OivedElokim wrote on 13 Mar 2024 10:37:

If and when you're ready for the filter, any chance you'll let me have the z'chus of paying for it?

redfaced wrote on 13 Mar 2024 16:18:

I actually have a subscription to Gentech, it’s just not currently installed on my phone. Anyways any donations are welcome, whether for the last billing cycle or the upcoming one…

OivedElokim wrote on 14 Mar 2024 02:54:

Well I cant pay for a subscription thats gathering dust on your shelf, But once its protecting you and your device, Im all in

OivedElokim wrote on 13 Mar 2024 10:37:

Hi Oived, 

My take on the filter issue may be a bit different than what you are used to hearing in these here parts and may not be overly popular, but that's fine.

In my humble view, based on the information I know about you from your thread, struggling with yourself about putting on a filter may not be the healthiest endeavor. If there are negative associations with filters, based on a negative religious experience, you may find that it will end up backfiring. You may resent it and than it will bite your rear in the long run. 

What may feel more doable right now is try to cultivate a mindset, a perspective.

Exploring the deepest thoughts within ourselves...why do I watch porn? 

Why do I feel like I should stop?

And perhaps exploring the negative effects porn has on the brain. The negative effects it has on our emotional health. 

When you gain peaceful, calm, compassionate clarity on where you want to go, than perhaps a filter can help you achieve that goal. It won't need to be a struggle with yourself. You will be at perfect peace (at least in general, not to say there won't be weak moments) knowing that you made a choice, and yes...you actually wanted that choice. 

I am only sharing this based on my own experiences. Its unconventional, but it did work for me. I hope this helps you. 

Rooting for you, as we all are, -YKW

I just saw your posts now. (I haven't been on for a while)
I've been thinking about you ever since you have not been on GYE, and I'm relieved and happy that you are back.
I also haven't been here for a while and now the time has come to meet up (virtually) again.
The feelings of old friends are beating in my heart...
We're in this together, and we will prevail!

Hey guys. 

Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. I have been putting off reinstalling my filter. I am hoping to start dating again within the next few weeks and I am beginning to feel an urgent need to overcome this habit that could wreak so much havoc on my future relationship. I am committing to all of you that I will be installing my filter tomorrow and getting rid of any inappropriate apps and pictures on my phone. 

To be honest I am not going to give up masturbation or non-visual triggering content at this point as I don’t think it’s as important or realistic, though I hope some day I will graduate from that as well.

Please keep me accountable, whether online or offline (if you have my number). 

good night 

Let us know when the filter is installed.

Dont forget im paying for it

Hey guys, an update:



I had been meaning to install it tonight but I didn’t get a chance since I didn’t realize what time Gentech support closes. I will make sure to do it in the morning before work. I will also get rid of whatever access I have to inappropriate imagery via apps and the like. I will decide what to do with my unfiltered iPad-I’ll probably just give it away or make a whitelist on it.



Like I said-audio/textual stimulation will still be an issue for now but I can’t tackle everything at once.



good night 

OivedElokim