Welcome, Guest
GYE
Forum for Jewish Men
On the Way to 90-Days

OivedElokim-I’ll never give up
(0 viewing) 
Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
Reply Topic
New Topic

TOPIC: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 40983 Views

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 22 May 2023 09:39 #395999

Oived, I am sorry that I never got to know you. I am very new here, in addition to just wishing you luck going forward, I can honestly say that I also have had my own “Faith Crisis” and still struggle from time to time with it. I wanted to say that HaShem believes in you, even if you don’t believe in him.

I feel that religion sometimes gets in the way of our relationship with HaShem, and maybe you need to step away from the religion for awhile in order to work on other parts of your life, like your battle with P and M. This is just my humble opinion. Personally, the religion has helped me in so many ways, but it is a personal journey and maybe stepping away is what you need at this point in your life.

Wishing you nothing but the best 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 22 May 2023 11:07 #396002

  • Hashem Help Me
  • Current streak: 2918 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 4058
Sorry that you are obviously in a lot of pain buddy. You know where you can come to receive a non-judgmental hug - a big one. Hatzlocha.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 22 May 2023 13:29 #396007

  • excellence
  • Current streak: 12 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 430
  • Karma: 24
@OivedElokim, I just want to say THANK YOU for all the chizuk I have received from your posts and that I hope to repay you one day. For now it is my fervent prayer that you find inner happiness in a smooth and healthy manner.

All my love,
Excellence

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 22 May 2023 13:39 #396008

  • grant400
  • Current streak: 3 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1490
  • Karma: 173
We will be here when you are ready to return. 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 22 May 2023 14:48 #396014

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 12072
  • Karma: 652
OE, Godspeed to you regardin' recovery and life in general.

I wasn't the happiest with some of the postin's above dissin' or not respectin' your decision. If this would be a Chabad, Breslov or kiruv site, they would be within their rights, but it is a GYE site, albeit a Jewish Orthodox site, but that does not mean we proselytize - one way or the other. [Which reminds me that that there was another post, but not on this thread, that I need to comment on as well, I think.] 

Anyway, wishin' you success in recovery
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 22 May 2023 18:35 #396023

  • retrych
  • Current streak: 201 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 119
  • Karma: 5
But why do you need to leave? Talkin it out doesnt help anymore? reading peoples tips and struggles are just not relatable now?
(at least keep us updated how youre doing? I hate when ppl disappear. never know whats happening)

EDIT: See you said you will stay in touch? or just with some people? ANyway, be well, 
Last Edit: 22 May 2023 18:46 by retrych.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 22 May 2023 23:04 #396037

  • doingtshuva
  • Current streak: 4 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1440
  • Karma: 42
OivedElokim wrote on 22 May 2023 00:45:
Goodbye Post

Hey everyone. I feel bad that I left for so long without an update (I don't like it when other people do it...) so here goes:

My faith crisis has been worsening and it ended up affecting my practical behavior, though not on a massive scale. At least it hasn't yet.

I don't believe in Judaism anymore. At all.

I will not go into why or how that happened here, as this is not the appropriate forum for that kind of talk.
I will just say that my loss of faith is deeply saddening to me and I don't know where to go from here. I sincerely wish it didn't happen.

And no, please do not bombard me with Kiruv arguements and give me shiurim to listen to. I've been through all of that already. It has not worked.

I plan to continue working on my porn and masturbation habits but not from a religious point of view. I therefore don't think that GYE is the place for me to try to do so. I'm really grateful to all of you for the help and concern and advice you've shared with me over my 7 years here. I've made many good friends here and I hope to continue to keep in touch with them, if they're willing to.

I'll probably continue to lurk and engage with the friends I met here offline, but don't expect to read any inspiring Chizuk posts from me anymore. I'm done with GYE. At least until the day I do Teshuva (doesn't look like it'll be happening soon so don't hold your breath).

הבטיחה תורה שסוף ישראל לעשות תשובה בסוף גלותן ומיד הן נגאלין (רמב"ם הלכות תשובה)
I guess we'll see about that. Till then, farewell! I love you guys....

With a heavy heart,
OivedElokim

Oived here are your own words.
guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/361746-Striving-for-Excellence?limit=15&start=15#364371
 *  NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!
 *  I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.
 *  Being curios made me lust and get into trouble.
אָמַר רבי יוחנן: אֵבֶר קָטָן יֵשׁ לוֹ לָאָדָם, מַרְעִיבוֹ = שָׂבֵעַ, מַשְׂבִּיעוֹ = רָעֵב

Gye program + Handbook  -  Taphsik method  -  90 day chart  -  Ebooks  -  Shiurim  -  Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski  -  Recent topics on the Forum
Last Edit: 29 May 2023 02:11 by doingtshuva.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 23 May 2023 13:28 #396079

  • cordnoy
  • OFFLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 12072
  • Karma: 652
Trying The Best wrote on 22 May 2023 05:12:

OivedElokim wrote on 22 May 2023 00:45:
Goodbye Post

Hey everyone. I feel bad that I left for so long without an update (I don't like it when other people do it...) so here goes:

My faith crisis has been worsening and it ended up affecting my practical behavior, though not on a massive scale. At least it hasn't yet.

I don't believe in Judaism anymore. At all.

I will not go into why or how that happened here, as this is not the appropriate forum for that kind of talk.
I will just say that my loss of faith is deeply saddening to me and I don't know where to go from here. I sincerely wish it didn't happen.

And no, please do not bombard me with Kiruv arguements and give me shiurim to listen to. I've been through all of that already. It has not worked.

I plan to continue working on my porn and masturbation habits but not from a religious point of view. I therefore don't think that GYE is the place for me to try to do so. I'm really grateful to all of you for the help and concern and advice you've shared with me over my 7 years here. I've made many good friends here and I hope to continue to keep in touch with them, if they're willing to.

I'll probably continue to lurk and engage with the friends I met here offline, but don't expect to read any inspiring Chizuk posts from me anymore. I'm done with GYE. At least until the day I do Teshuva (doesn't look like it'll be happening soon so don't hold your breath).

הבטיחה תורה שסוף ישראל לעשות תשובה בסוף גלותן ומיד הן נגאלין (רמב"ם הלכות תשובה)
I guess we'll see about that. Till then, farewell! I love you guys....

With a heavy heart,
OivedElokim

Dear OE!

I am sure you went through something very stressful and it’s not you writing this post, it’s for sure someone else. When someone is stressed and going through something, he’s not acting himself. I understand the person wrote this post and I am sure it’s not you it’s the stressed person. Sooner or later he’ll feel better. It’s a matter of time.

I love you with all my heart and soul!
Give it a chance.

I don't think that (the part in bold - especially) is the proper way to respond.

Godspeed to all.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 03 Sep 2023 07:37 #400785

  • frank.lee
  • Current streak: 449 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 689
  • Karma: 21
@oivedElokim how is life treating you? How are your battles? Anything you can share to inspire us? We miss you. 

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 21 Sep 2023 15:48 #401416

  • oivedelokim
  • Current streak: 57 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 775
  • Karma: 105
Hey frank.lee (and all of my old friends).

To be frank (no pun intended) life ain’t peaches and cream. Especially without faith and religion. It’s very difficult to construct your own meaning and to chart your own path. I’m going to pull through though. I have no other choice.

On a practical level, in the coming months I plan to drop the external trappings of frumkeit and replace it with a look and a lifestyle that is more consistent with my current beliefs and values. I would like to pursue an education, a career and find a life partner…

I really miss the sense of community and camaraderie that I had from this site, and am still in regular contact with some of the friends I made here. I wish you all the very best in everything, Gmar chasima tova etc.

This will likely be my last post for the foreseeable future, though I’ve learned long ago to never say never. I’m not deliberately shutting the door on anything. I am merely opening doors that I thought would forever be closed to me, trying to find the inner peace that my soul so desperately craves.

Once again, thank you all for the words of encouragement you’ve shared, for your faith in me, for your friendship and love.

I don’t know how to end this post. Whatever
I am a bochur with a passion for meaning and truth, searching to remain clean and live a holy and fulfilling life.

If you are reading this-you have a friend in me.
Feel free to PM me and I'll share my offline contact information, so we can call and text. I'd be honored if you'd trust me with your story and promise to support you in any way I possibly can.
I've been on GYE for over 7 years. "I may walk slow, but I never walk back" (-Abraham Lincoln?).
(For the background and meaning of my username- see Tanya chapter 15).

My current thread 
Last Edit: 21 Sep 2023 18:13 by oivedelokim.

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 21 Sep 2023 15:58 #401419

  • redfaced
  • Current streak: 581 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1128
  • Karma: 55
I have no words My dear oved besides i feel your pain so deeply.If you ever decide to come back Im looking forward to getting to know you
May you slide down the banister of happiness and get many splinters of success up your career

Feel free to send me an owl, a howler, or even a Crumple-Horned Snorkack to Iamredfaced@gmail.com


The Red Face

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 21 Sep 2023 17:20 #401427

  • foolie
  • Current streak: 4 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 483
  • Karma: 32
I don’t know you and you don’t know me. That said sometimes manic anxiety and suicidal ideation can come along when going through those doors that used to be forever closed to you and are now open. Take care of your mental health first and foremost and good luck to you on your journey may you find the peace and happiness you are searching for. 
I will give battle Sir- General George Meade (Army of the Potomac)
Nuts!- General Anthony McAuliffe (101st Airborne)
Lets Get Dangerous! - Darkwing Duck
You’ll need to raise the ante and negotiate- Rechnitzer Rejects
I'm fresh out of essential truths- Spock
Life is a hell of a thing to happen to a person - David Rossi

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 21 Sep 2023 17:26 #401428

Dear OE,

I can't begin to even understand your pain.

But wherever you go, please, oh please, don't forget how much we love and respect you here.
You will truly be missed!!

AM

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 21 Sep 2023 19:08 #401434

  • davidt
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1799
To our beloved OE
I am praying that you should find the inner peace that your soul so desperately craves.
Remember that Hashem always loves unconditionally! 
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: OivedElokim-I’ll never give up 22 Sep 2023 15:04 #401481

  • frank.lee
  • Current streak: 449 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 689
  • Karma: 21
Hi OivedElokim, thanks so much for giving us an update. I think this is still a safe place for you to share if you feel comfortable. 

One idea for you. Maybe put aside the levush. Putting aside yidishkeit, what do you feel about a Creator? About living a spiritual life? Meaning do you feel a desire to give up of yourself for others? Are you interested in a relationship with spirituality and the Creator?

Don't let the issues with levush, minhagim, halacha, Jewish society and yidishkeit as a whole, hold you back or push you off to live a life the way you ideally want to.

Much love!
Frank Lee
Last Edit: 22 Sep 2023 15:17 by frank.lee.
Reply Topic
New Topic
GYE
Forum for Jewish Men
On the Way to 90-Days
Moderators: yechidah, skeptical, the.guard, kedusha, Dov, cordnoy, menachemgye, smartlakewood
Powered by Kunena
Time to create page: 0.73 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes