Just started flight to freedom tonight. 

Completed lesson 1 of Flight to Freedom (besides for the last assignment). It's a really solid program and I feel like it might help me find the resolve to take quitting seriously.

I got myself a laptop so I can filter it and never need to use an unprotected device. I'll let you guys guess the first thing I used it for...

But by now BH I've installed GenTech and I'm very happy with it. Tried downloading WebChaver as well but there was some glitch in the installation. I contacted them and am waiting to hear back.

In my regular life I'm hovering between OK and moderately depressed. Been having a fair amount of Hatzlacha in learning the mesechta that i chose to do for bekius. Spending a nice amount of time on it and finished 20 blatt in about a week and a half. Other then that my learning isn't going particularly great. My morning routine is still not good and I'm looking into a part-time job just to get me up in the morning.

OivedElokim wrote on 07 Feb 2022 04:36:

I see this pattern a lot.. there’s a certain consistency once one breaks free if we’re using the same device ongoing.. there’s less of a trigger of “maybe let’s fall”because we developed a certain consistency of not falling with my device. etc. however , whenever we get a new device or we use a new device.. our brains right away shift to the idea of falling. Even if our previous device had been unfiltered.. it’s important to look out for this and prepare before buying new devices.

Day 1
Gonna try to start posting (daily?) more often. Fell last night, clean today. Completed the cost-benefit analysis at the end of lesson 1 of F2F. It moderately strengthened my resolve to kick these habits for good. 
Woke up super late today, hope to wake up at a normal time tomorrow and have a (somewhat) productive day.
Over and out, OE

Had a good day today. I'm particularly excited as I finished the first Perek of the Masechta that I'm learning for bekius today. I consider it a major milestone in my learning, as I started just two weeks ago (in an inspired moment, with the goal of making a siyum Erev Pesach-we'll see how that goes...), and I generally struggle with Gemara (for several reasons which are beyond the scope of this post). I'm very proud of my consistency as I don't have a chavrusa for this. There is nothing like the joy of accomplishment in Limud haTorah. I'm posting this here because I have nowhere else to shamelessly toot my own horn  ...

But as an aside I found that in moments of satisfaction and accomplishment such as these, there is little  no urge to act out sexually. I know this will not last, but it's a lesson that I'll remember-stay busy with good things, and the bad things will have less of an appeal...

Mazel tov! 

Hey buddy, As you say a Double Mazel Tov!! 

Good for you!! Thanks for sharing! 

Just installed WebChaver on my phone. Now I have it both on my laptop and my iPhone. Still need to plug up some holes in my iPhone's filter but generally I'm feeling pretty secure. It's amazing the feeling of relief and freedom that washes over you when you realize you don't have to be stuck anymore in these old patterns...

Also, under no circumstances will I masturbate tonight. Just putting out it there...

OivedElokim wrote on 10 Feb 2022 00:01:

There is a strong connection between being mechazek one's learning and staying clean. There is ruchniyus effect - kedushas haTorah and our connection with Hashem through limud haTorah, as well as a psychological one - feeling good productive and accomplished with one's self, and lastly a practical consideration - less empty time with nothing to occupy one's self with. Of course it is not foolproof, nor is it a guarantee, but it is a great move in the right direction. Mazel Tov on the siyum and iyh many more.

Just fixed up my filter on both of my devices. That's the easy part...

Now I have to start working on my mindset and rewiring my brain. 

Just fell 

Masturbated Friday night and last. Don't really have a plan in place for quitting. Have done contracts with knosim in the past, but it doesn't always help. I've torn up several 10 and 20 dollar bills already... I don't know what to do.

Just finished lesson 2 of Flight2Freedom. I really liked it.

Had a pretty good day in terms of work and learning, BH. I fell twice though, once with watching. I really want to stop but I'm not willing to make a new contract that involves ripping money. I wonder if donating to GYE (larger sums-like $50, $100) will do it for me...

Suggestion: Stop with the knasos. Work the Flight to Freedom program, and get some chevra as partners. Of course do what you are comfortable doing...