Welcome.

To add to Cordnoy's post.

The sexual urge is a genuine "drive", that must be channeled in the correct way i.e. marriage.

So never feel bad if you have the urge.

Alongside this, the need for companionship is genuine too.
Sometimes looking at porn can be fuelled by loneliness and/or depression,
so that real need for cmpany and cnversation might be lacking..in which case it might be related to relationships with your wife, family and friends.....and/or simply tiredness.

What has worked for me is recognising when I have a sexual urge, and treating it as a cloud...which can float away after a short period of time.

I am not compelled to act on it.

This is the mindfulness technique, of which there is a lot of information online

i am familiar with mindfullness. i appreciate your post. i am not experienced at using it for such an urge but sounds interesting!

#3
yom shenichpal bo ki tov. 
(thought it sounded good anyways).
had some fantasizing coming from spacing out (batalah brings to...)
but i snapped out of them quite quickly. have not excited myself and thats a big thing for me.
have a wonderfull shabbos!!!! 

Cords, Truly a great post, I don't think that I can top it. Maybe I can jump in (it's already been done without too much impunity) with my 2 shekels.  [I but my thoughts in blue]  pps, number bullets got all messed up. How did you write it cords, with windows 2089?) whatev

stillgoing wrote on 03 May 2019 16:44:

I would just like to repeat for the third time (actually, i think it's the second time that I'm repeatin' it): The above post is not mine! I didn't write one word of it. It is quotes from this site. Some I agree with, others I don't.

cordnoy wrote on 03 May 2019 17:05:

Never said you made it up. It's all on this site (as well as a whole lot of other things, like does batman have ssa, but that's for another time...), most of it is in Sa as well (although modified a bit), and before them the great musser giants said it too. I need a translator today, but nothing new in that post. age doesn't make it stale though. Just stronger.

#4 (i think ill just go with where im holding in terms of complete days ayin l'eil for more info)
4 whole days and soon to crack a 5th. 
4 is the # oisiyos of the shem.
4 is the #     " "    of the word ''yesod" (dont try being a smart aleck)
4 is the four ruchos haolam.
4 is .....you know what else? it means its ONE more day that i overcame my yetzer hara. i think that for none addicts it gets easier with the more consecutive times, days etc. which really is based on the sefer hachinuch but i would like to exp. it heavily first before commenting on that. (although ive felt this in the past with watching myself where i look in the streets.)

#5
i was thinking....(thats a start) ...
that perhaps a married couple that has the same ''love language'' lets say touch-and they hit it off right away, could be that their love is really superficial and each one is just a means of pleasure  in the other's eye's. so if c''v a challenge/crises/wtvr hits-they cud be ttly out to lunch in terms of working together etc. even in a regular situation they dont love each other-its like loving pizza.
so it would follow that the more difficult a marriage is-be it personality clashes or wtvr, thats actually MORE opportunity for REAL love...of course we dont want nisyonos and everyone needs to take to an extent. im just wondering if a mature way of looking at a struggling marriage is really a gift to (work hard but...) have REAL LOVE. just a thought....

p.s. which would explain the (famous?) rav dessler on love is generated through giving. any other possible source which comes from taking is loving yourself, (sharf but true obviously reletive to each person on his level accordingly). i believe he explains all of this at length. (the beginning of michtav meliyahu)

btw thanks to everyone for all their reaching out and encouragement and advice to start me off.
thanks for the thank you's as well. 
i did some thinking recently and all of the above makes a difference. so im publicly (?!) thanking y'all.

#6
almost fell today but bh caught myself in time.
regardless if a ''slip'' is not a ''fall'' and the chart is still intact, its assur on the real chart. so i shouldnt be engaging in slippery behavior, which unfortunately i was. still, im grateful for the 6 ''clean'' days. 
i look forward to an even better, and squeaky clean, next 6 days! 

#7 
i had alot of reasons to be bent out of shape recently and really mess things up in terms of shalom bayis.
bh i controlled myself even though it was hard, and saw a positive result. 
perhaps things r going in the right direction...

If you are under extra pressure right now then devise a strategy to be aware of this and to be nice to yourself.
Perhaps get a few films you really want to watch and watch them...definitely have some positive leisure time.
Or start reading a book you have wanted to read for a while but always put off.

thank you. being nice to yourself is very important (for me).

this is a great piece of advice for me (the general idea that is, i dont do films).

thanks for your concern as well. much appreciated!

#8 

uh oh..., there were certain circumstances that caused me to engage in very slippery behavior....

kinda complicated but i asked a question to the higher ups and they said its ok-on with the count. so here i am at 8 days old. (WAHHH!!!!! WAHHH!!! ) anyways, im sick of slippery behavior! enough!