When you're in the sewer you can't smell the stench! 
I loved that phrase... the mashal is a guy is passing a waste management worker sitting over an open septic tank eating his lunch!! Hayitochain?? so putrid how in the world can he eat food here I can barely stop myself from puking from this stench... 
the answer is... the worker cant even smell it!!

I find this to be so true for me.... when it comes to goyish music[not the soft stuff ich.. more like rock etc..]..... come ellul I turn it off because i know its wrong ....though i dont FEEL its wrong... and inevitably sometime around chanuka i relapse... work has me stressed or i need to energize myself to go exercise and im flat...the first few times i feel terrible... the music feels foreign and tamai ....and I feel the effects... i know its damaging me... but give it a few days and weeks and i am convinced nothing is wrong ... what harm is it doing... i go back to not smelling the stench?!!

I dont think its a far stretch to say tayva is the same way... when were seeped in it... and especially in the velt we live in where the oilam is mamaesh not machshiv it as being wrong at all.... it is so hard... we are all in that sewer eating that tuna sandwhich..... how do we get out is the challenge ....but once we are there and we look at the tipshim sitting, feet dangling in the manhole cover, eating their lunch... our stomachs will once again cringe as the kedusha in us shines and rejects such tumah!!

Satisfying answer?? not at all.....because that doesnt feed the motivation ... "leave me alone ... fine im in a sewer but it doesnt bother me!!" 
but lemaysa dont you wanna be the guy on the outside of the sewer who can smell the stench??

GrowStrong wrote on 10 Mar 2017 13:26:

How is that an answer as to WHY you want to change? You will only work properly if the reason is sound. Please see my Post above what didn't work (for me)

Please explain.

II don't care much about core.

Change from within.

B'hatzlachah

Hakolhevel wrote on 14 Mar 2017 14:35:

For me, the fact that i am acting against my own will is a very big motivator to change.
Such is the virtue of free will.
But i spent many many years acting out... And until i was ready to really make some changes, and start on the road of sobriety, acting against my own will was just an annoying chip on my shoulder.
Everyone's why is different, we all have different reasons.

cordnoy wrote on 14 Mar 2017 15:00:

Sorry it was Singularity that said
"True. You gotta want to change. But why? Porn is so much fun. And it feels good. What else is there? It's a hard question to answer. But such is the virtue of free will."

When I said core I was referring to this, why do I want to change. Yes change comes from within, but if my desire to change, coming from within me, is not coming from the greatest place it won't go anywhere. Or so I understand, please enlighten me.

cordnoy wrote on 14 Mar 2017 15:00:

Sorry it was Singularity that said
"True. You gotta want to change. But why? Porn is so much fun. And it feels good. What else is there? It's a hard question to answer. But such is the virtue of free will."

When I said core I was referring to this, why do I want to change. Yes change comes from within, but if my desire to change, coming from within me, is not coming from the greatest place it won't go anywhere. Or so I understand, please enlighten me.

I don't know if every turnabout has to be this bold, all-encompassing approach. Could be as simple as "I know my own decisions keep landing me in a deep pit. I want to try give over my own decisions and submit to someone more experienced/learned in the program".

Yeah but.....a therapist once told me that if I don't have a reason for wanting to change- if I'm changing because I think I should but not because I want to-then all the techniques in the world won't help me.

You know one of the reasons I wanted to change? Because I didn't want to be doing all the lusting anymore. It made me feel too bad and made everything more sad, depressing, and anxious. And I had worked too hard to really indulge and actually enjoy it so it was just torture- engage in something I wasn't going to engage in anyway. So I decided to stop torturing myself. It's a slow process. 

Workingguy wrote on 16 Mar 2017 14:23:

Almost like death; I know.

Oy if only the world would know the deep philosophy here.....big concepts like death....and life......and