If I felt that there's a connection by me that when I usually eat potato chips I end up falling, I shouldn't write it just because there's no logical connection?

polar bear wrote:
Can I add my $0.02
Theres no question that davening with minyan and learning sedarim etc give us an emotional boost, as I think you agree

The point I was making a page or 2 ago, is that if our emotions are not in check, regardless of spiritual boosts, we will be apt to slip and fall...

The consensus of the guys was that davening with a minyan isn't enough to elevate our emotions to the point of absolute sobriety

Perhaps we should learn to daven better? idk. But as things stand, for me, shul going isn't what has made my recovery.
If you're looking for 90% sobriety for today, guardyourshteeble may do that...

If you want 100%, you'll need something else, and there's no shortage of GPS trucking solutions

KOT

There are many different ways to achieve sobriety and there are many ways to keep clean streaks goin'. There are differences between the two.
However, Mr polar bear is simply sayin' that davenin' with a minyan helps him. That is beautiful and should not be challenged. He is merely sayin' what works for him.

B'hatzlachah to all

markz wrote:

I beg to differ on this aspect. For me sobriety is not dependant on emotions, many times it's knowing what to do even when my emotions are out of whack.

Hello, day 14.

I had to go somewhere recently where I was exposed to some stuff that could lead to slipping. Arguably, I could have avoided it, but I am lazy and decided to take the easy path.

Baruch HASHEM I stood my ground and got through without a scratch.

Hope it continues!

Bye all.

I hope so 2! Keep on trucking!!

Getting married wrote:

Not sure about the beer and coke thing, I kind of think that they might go well together. I do hear some of what you are saying, that missing a minyan after one placed the stakes on it, can lead for one to make an "excuse" subconsciously (or consciously) that he may as well slide since he already messed up that day. This risk can be applied to any motivational method. For example the 90 day chart. My worst falls, in recent times occurred late in the day that I had to reset my chart. I already blew it for the day - I might as well...., Nevertheless, we need to use whatever motivations will work for us, while taking into account the risks and hopefully taking precautions against them.

polar bear wrote:

B"H! Great job, May you have continued Hatzlacha

I got an email recently from gye, saying that when one falls over and over, his brain becomes comfortable with the falls, to the extent that the brain loses it's balance when this individual hasn't fallen for a while, causing the individual to feel like something is out of place, until he falls once more. When one does not fall for long enough, eventually his brain re-stabilizes with less of the need to fall. Hence the 90 day chart.

I'm keeping this in mind when I start feeling like I need to 'release' myself. That everything is ok. It's all in my head. And if I wait long enough, the uncomfortable feeling will pass, as my brain recovers back to it's original state.

I have missed minyan a few times, and it has not increased my struggle. I still beat myself for missing minyan. I have also wasted time watching stuff online. Which my or may not led to my recent struggles. Today so far I have not wasted any time watching stuff, and it isn't easy. I hope I don't 'fall'.

Why were you watching stuff online? As a healthy outlet, or did you feel like you just couldn't stay away?

When I say stuff, I am referring to the 'clean' secular stuff that's out there. It may be an outlet, but I prefer not to do it. In my opinion/situation, it's a waste of time. And once I watch one thing, I usually go on to watch the next. It's basically like an addiction. An addiction to time waste. If I'm really into it, it could become dangerous. I could search the wrong things online once I run out of 'clean' stuff to watch.

...And that's the danger of the internet, kids!

polar bear wrote:


Well said pb,

I share the same experience, the VAST majority of my falls happened after running out of "clean" entertainment online.

I have realized now how i have to shift my focus away from shmutz and try to move the line of scrimmage to the clean videos, and just try to use my time better.

It is so hard because it really isn't bad stuff, but it is all connected.

The no unfiltered commitment has canceled out 90% of the opportunities to "chill", but i know that i am far from over that habit.

I hope we can both find meaning and enjoyment in better ways. . (Our maybe i should just speak for myself)

Hatzlacha

Internet filters never really kept me out. I've come to realize that the best filter is one's will. Accountability programs work for me, because someone other than myself is browsing whatever I do online. It works even better if it's someone I am embarrassed of. Like a strict Rabbi who will give it to me if I slip even a little.

polar bear wrote:
Are you planning to stay in the Antarctica ice pack fishing for more porn for another 10 years with a reporting program like I did?
Yeah I had a rabbi and a close friend as accountability partners, but nothing helped until I found gye.
There are ways to get around filters and there are ways to get around reporting programs and there are excuses to give partners and lastly unfortunately no rabbis are going to be slapping you...
That is my experience even as someone that doesn't consider himself an 'addict'

I repeat - I'm only saying what works for me
Think about it do you want to stay in the cold forever...

markz wrote:


Markz- I couldn't agree with you more. I've done twelve steps and lots of other things that didn't work and have figured out ways around the accountability software for certain things. What I realized a long time ago is that if I really want to, I can find a million ways to get it.

Then I realized that if I'm playing Whack-A-Mole something will always pop up, and that I have to get serious. You and your story actually helped do that for me.

Of course, out of sight out of mind is helpful on that its dumb to have open access, but I agree with our point. In fact, when I go over the top in trying to protect myself from every possible indecent image that one can ever come across on any website, I find it becomes unhealthy and sets me on a bad path.