i-man wrote on 24 Dec 2020 03:51:

Amazing. So so true.
Thank you

i-man wrote on 24 Dec 2020 03:51:

It is as weak as not wanting to open up your office on a street that has 10 houses of prostitution on it.  It is as weak as deciding not to have a pantry full of treife goodies in your house (and just telling the children "choose correctly").

Let's call a spade a spade - With the exception of some very few unique individuals who are true ba'alei mussar and ma'aminim, nobody is safe with unfiltered internet without safeguards. Of course there are levels. Some of us could stay kosher if the access is temporary. For many others, even that is too much. Gedolei Yisroel have repeatedly instructed again and again - Hashem wants us to avoid access - not to have access and show that we can stay kosher.

i-man wrote on 24 Dec 2020 03:51:

Of course it's not a sign of weakness! It's brute strength. Kol hakavod! 

Just don't forget the fact that you did have access to open internet and you did block it. That is amazing and truly spectacular. Yes blocking accessibility is key and the vital aspect of overcoming these struggles, but to be able to stand up to the temptation you did, shows that you are definitely in a very good place. A place higher than only having strength when denied access. 

Admitting weakness is a sign of true strength. 

                                 Grant

So I’m putting on my therapist glasses to figure out why  my having access will lead to acting out.
On a basic level the spade which HHM pointed out.
But if I dig a little deeper in my past, from when I was a teenager having been exposed to the world of sexual “pleasures “ I was fighting a battle, touch don’t touch,mastebate fantazise porn phone sex etc ( unfortunately some of this is before Gye and before I connected to it  so I was doing a lousy job) .
Than There was the effort to access things , all the sneaking all the effort spent getting around filters and outsmarting myself  , once I was married it was also having to hide the trail from my wife , so when I would access something there was that feeling of accomplishment like overcoming a challenge - think getting obsessed beating a game. It became that the hunt was in a way more exciting than the prize . With that I believe I conditioned myself that when there’s access to automatically feel a strong pull to chap arein.

Now I know it sounds like I just explained why filters are no good  , but again like we keep hearing they are good it just needs to not be the exclusive tactic because it won’t stand up to the pressure , you need to work on the lust from within, with a mix of the various tools and strategies.
Addionally on a practical level to have the stronger filter , I switched phones to have better protection, and yes there are times when I have a lot of triggers and I would probably act out but the lack of access saved me.

G”V
tonight I had strong urges, thankfully the filters, blockers,and accountability software , held me back from viewing porn.
Went to shower and the lust was still strong , I said a little prayer, told myself that it’s just a passing cloud of lust which will dissipate as quick as I disengage, which is what happened.

Thank You Hashem 
Thank you GYE

i-man wrote on 10 Jan 2021 07:46:

Okay didn’t really dissipate, it’s definitely still lingering, but much more manageable.

Iyh in a few days from now, you will look back and see how temporary the urge was. When it hits, it can manifest with an overwhelming appearance. However, we should view it like cotton candy. It appears so big, so appealing, so special; yet there is nothing really there......

Hashem Help Me wrote on 10 Jan 2021 12:25:

I love the cotton candy reference (and love the cotton candy too). 
i like to look at it like Pringles. Once you pop, you can't stop, and you never ever get enough...

Hashem Help Me wrote on 10 Jan 2021 12:25:

A gentile was trying to convince a simple yid to convert so he offered him a hefty sum if he would. The yid replied "I'm just a simple Jew' so I don't know much about this whole subject, all I know is what my father once told me, If somebody wants to trade horses with you and is adding some money to convince you, then you know its a bad deal...

The same thing can be said about the yetzer hora if he has to sweeten the deal so much, it must not be such a good deal.

Hashem Help Me wrote on 10 Jan 2021 12:25:

The reason wrote it was like you always say when you say it  out to others it becomes less potent.
I was thinking this could be a pshat when the sar shel esav answers Yakov Avinu “why do you ask my name” - if it’s unnamed it’s a big scary monster, when you say it out and call it a name it becomes less of a force . ( if I saw this here somewhere excuse my plagiarism)

i-man wrote on 11 Jan 2021 15:20:

 Beautiful vort!

sleepy wrote on 11 Jan 2021 17:12:

That was actually not my point , but it is related and a good one as well

How u been brother?

YeshivaGuy wrote on 24 Feb 2021 06:11:

Hey

Thanks for checking in doing good very busy..
Have an amazing Purim!

Wow I haven’t posted on this thread in over 3 years. I just masturbated for the first time since mid elul,if i’m not mistaken. Baruch Hashem as time moves on I’m gradually taking the upper ground. With that being said i don’t think the fight will ever end,but in my current state of mind that does not bother me. Hatzlacha to all.