this is part of the recovery process. You must find a healthy way to deal with your stress. Talk to your mother, learn chovos halevavos (sha'ar habitachon), listen to an empowering shiur (might I recomend R Efraim Waxman).

You will have many such nissyonos in life, and you will feel the need to "act out", unless, unless you develop a framework to deal with them in a healthy way. True you may still need to choose the latter over p---, but at least you have a healthy altenative to addiction.

try carrying this over to the "I'm gonna fall" thread

Luria wrote on 02 Mar 2010 05:17:


Dear R' Luria,

don't think we've met yet...

If I'd have to guess I'd say that the tension of whether or not you'll get good news, causes stress/anxiety/whatever you wana call it...

The mind automatically searches for comfort...

We automatically reach for our good(read:bad) old comforter...

Very understandable...

Thing is, It never delivers on it's promises... It may or may not sooth for a few minutes, but it then turns you into a wreck...

The minute relief po'ography promises is so fleeting, empty, and meaningless.

Will it really make you happier? Will it really deliver the effect it promises?

However, the need may be so overwhelming that rationalizing with it wont work... That's where we come in... We are here for you... We are rooting for you... We want you to be truly happy. The real thing...

You will concur this....

Search for real answers... What will really make you happy? What will have a true meaningful long lasting soothing effect? Etc. Etc.
Grab on to those... They do exist, its a matter of finding them...
The real answers are sometimes more difficult to attain... But the end result makes it so worth it...

We were put here on this world for our own good. Hashem wants us to be happy. His test is to see whether we will muster the strength to go after the real thing, the things that truly bring happiness, instead of chasing illusions...

Keep us posted Holy Brother...

Shmirat eynaim - I hear you loud and clear! And ive always loved Rav Wachsman  thats a great idea to listen to his stuff

Tryin123- you sure we never met? that description about everything (especially P*** as a comforter) was dead on and really helpfu; 

Thanks guys for your help during a rough time. Last night turned out really well thanks to your advice. Ill post about it i"h under the wall of honor thread

makes me happy to know that your still at it

:-* :-* :-* :-* :-*

Dear Kedusha,

Thank you for this thread...I've been having my strongest clean 8 days in a VERY, VERY long time.

Even when I was previously not masturbating, I was definitely looking at inappropriate sites to keep the "lust-connection". Over these past 8 days, I've even stayed away from FOXNews.com which has been a big trigger for me.

However, I definitely feel a slip coming...on Sunday and again this morning, I had interactions (unintentional) with beautiful women who sparked strong memories...is that a slip? Is this a fall?

I'm sitting here by my computer convincing myself not to slip and writing on this forum is working.

My life is so active and I see so many people...especially eye candy at people's offices...what can I think about when I see these women? My brain is so trained over the past number of years to focus on "closing the deal"...how do I turn that off?

Y

Sorry I haven't the energy to share now. I'll just tell, for a change, and hope it is of some use to you:

Give the power to Hashem only - and make sure you give the credit to Him when it works. I do not need any pats on the back for not being an idiot by screwing myself up with lust.

Ask Hashem to bless and help the "candy" you see with health, a true connection with Him, protection from the real pains and suffering in many people's lives r"l, protection from false relationships and being used, and for whatever they need.

Recognize and admit openly to someone safe that you are atracted to these people, cuz it's true. The truth is good and there is no way to hide from it. Then daven for them first, as the gemorah recommends us to do for everybody, and then ask for help. Just say "Help me G-d". No long prayers for yourself - for others it's OK, but for me I just say "Help." Then I say "Thank-you, Tatty", and move on with real living.

Stay busy - not to run away, but to be busy - to be in reality, not shekker. If you feel like you are running away all the time, that will lead nowhere.

Dov,

Thank you for that advice...it has been very helpful.

If Hashem is Tatty, can we call you Uncle Dovy?

Y

You can call me anything but late to dinner....sorry.

just want to lust a little.  like look at people mag online kind of thing...
what do i do when I feel this.  I am having withdrawal symptoms, like a smoker.
I will do the first suggestion posted bli neder.  that will be gods way of speaking to me.
Please make it reasonable though..

ok deals off. i'm leaving the office now. but at least i didnt slip.

I was gonna say sacrifice the first person who comes out of your house if you don;t act out....but that's been done already.

Haooy to hear you found out that by putting our nuttiness (in all its nuttiness) out there to dry in the light, it shrivels (not literally, don't worry). Liek you did here, reach out and talk to someone. I have a cadre of sickos to call whenever I am having a time of things or get nutty ideas. I just call one of them, admit the truth about what stupid idea my body wants to do and that my body feels like it'd be in my 100% very best interest to do that stupid thing...then they say, "thanks for sharing dov. You are a sicko and so am I. Have a great day!" We both laugh at our own addictive stupidity and hang up....game over and I am back at real living.

- bye!

People mag

No that's a mussar sefer

So many rich and talented people

No one can keep a spouse

somebody tell me not to watch it

don't watch it!!! go learn for 30 min!!

Can someone tell me that i don't want to look at pretty girls right now and that i should go learn and get off my computer.

You don't want to look at pretty girls right now and you should go learn and get off your computer.






Did I do fine?  (BTW, the post you were responding to was written a looong time ago.....)