HI, I just came home from work I had some couple bad instance which i feel very down... just about to fall....
each time when I feel down & overwhelmed..  I try to runaway by l looking not kosher things... 

Ready2work wrote on 02 Mar 2017 01:40:

welcome brother to the trucking league!!

Markz wrote on 02 Mar 2017 01:44:

I hope all went well. And will go well in the future.

Sometimes u just need a night sleep to forget all bad stuff from yesterday! 

Looking forward for new day and fresh stared!! 

Great attitude. Keep it up. You are part of a great chevra here and will b'ezras Hashem climb the mountain.

Hi
I'm currently in yeshiva and I'm having one of the worst momebts. I recently learned a Gemara talking about a man's erva with someone who had trouble controlling his immature laughter and once attaining the necessary seriousness started asking questions to deeply understand what the Gemara was saying. My body got excited but I hated every moment of it. I left seder early because I had an uneasy stomach and was desperate to find shelter in the Big Book. I realize this was a mistake. I thought the Big Book would help instead of davening to Hashem. But here I am, happy I have a supposedly strong filter on my phone which I am very tempted to test.very tempted to test. I'm mainly scared of allowing the yeshiva schedule to gain primacy over my recovery, because its very easy to forget I'm an addict in yeshiva. Im also feeling a strong urge to test a girl with whom I went to school I know I shouldn't but I'm not convinced in stinger times my opinion might change the main reason I'm not texting here is because I don't feel such an urge about my other guy friends, proving that it's just a taava Be'ezras Hashem

great how you are so in touch with yourself. iyh you will get past it. keep connected here and keep posting

Thanks. I actually didn't realize the urge went away. I love this forum!

I feel an extreme internal pressure, I am in panic, my body wants to run toward lust but a part of me knows there is a better way, it is Friday night (and shabbat) and I cannot sleep, I cannot stop but thinking of all the night clubs I used to go to, running after yet another illusion of comfort. I am suffering from feelings of isolation, loneliness and inadequacy, I feel like an outcast. At the shabbat table tonight I was not able to connect with others, I was afraid they would see through me and realize I am an addict, I was ashamed of my thoughts and forced myself to look down most of the time to avoid looking at women from fear of being "discovered". I feel terrible and I want to act out, I post here to bring it to the light and surrender it to god. I am young and have a lot things that are positive in my life. Arguably, acting out is my main issue yet I want to use it as a solution to get away from this unbearable pain. May hashem help me, I am so lonely on Friday nights I hate it. A part of me thinks all I need is the love and touch of women to miraculously heal, this is a lie as I have acted out many times and I never healed, I have emotional problems, leading to an addiction and the only way for me the heal is to first accept that there will be no relief from emotional pain until I work trough my false beliefs and feelings of inadequacy leading to turmoil and hurt feelings. I am not alone, I have a lot of people who love me, a mother that loves me and this week I received a lot of love from my brothers in the SA fellowship of recovery and healing, may hashem help me and prevent me from losing my sobriety and dignity tonight.

Hello fellow servant,
firstly. Don't be scared. The harder you try to fight the harder the yetzer will fight. Its not a war. Even though it is but realistically it helps alot to be calm about it. Feel Hashem's love. Its there for you to see if your eyes are open. Your past was given to you for a reason hopefully you'll be able to use it positively in the future. Don't run away from your past. Don't run at all.beat ease and be happy.
a tip with women, look at them between their eyebrows. Its slightly impolite but I think its a good compromise

Keep on ticking
Don't give up.it only gets better. i promise

It's the middle of the night and I am starting to have improper thoughts. Is anyone else out there?
NMI36

Hi there, just checking up on you to see how it went… thoughts in the middle of the night can really be tough. I find that when I stay up late after my wife and kids are sleeping, I get feelings of isolation and anxiety, which causes me to fall.