Sometimes, the hardest things to change are the "little stuff" that keep us attached to the Yetzer Hara. This is actually one of the Yetzer hara's biggest ploys to keep us in his camp.
Allow me to give a few examples of what I mean. ( I am gearing this post to men, but it can just as easily be adapted for women struggling with these issues as well)
1)We all have legitimate dealings with women throughout the course of our day and throughout the course of our lives, and this is unavoidable in most cases.
When you refer to a woman as "Mrs /Miss so and so" instead of using her first name, it automatically has less of an intimate ring to it, and less of a chance of any sin coming about between you and her.
From now on, resolve to never call any woman who isn't related to you by her first name! Besides being Halachically more acceptable, it will help you minimize your closeness to them and thus help you avoid sin, and become a better person. (go through your contacts on your phone as well, and change all the first names to Mrs. as well.)
2) I am assuming that most of the men on this site wear Tzitzis. (If you don't, I suggest you get a pair, as wearing them is a huge Mitzvah as well as a great tool against the Yetzer Hara)
Now, besides for the fact that wearing Tzitzis proudly at the side of your pants is the Halachically ideal way to wear them, it will also announce to the world that you are a Jew that takes his responsibilities seriously. Women who are vulnerable will usually avoid men that wear their Tzitzis proudly and distinctly. There are of course exceptions to this rule, but from experience, and from my dealings with many people, i can say that this is in fact the case.
From now on, resolve to wear your Tzitzis proudly, and it will help you avoid sin, and become a better Jew and a better person.
3) Most of us here, from time to time (or more often) have peppered our conversations with words that are considered vulgar. Without spelling them out for you, I am sure you all know which words I am referring to. (most of them are 4 letter words).
One who works on refining their speech, will automatically become a more refined person. The more refined a person one is, the less chance there is of him sinning in the arena of sexual sins. I think that is a proven fact.
From now on, let us resolve to rid our lexicon of words not befitting the tzelem Elokim that we all are, and it will help us become better Jews and better people.
You see, the few examples above seem so trivial and insignificant, yet they can change a person from a soldier of the Yetzer Hara into a soldier of Hashem.
In Hashem's army we refer to women respectfully (Mrs. so and so and not as Surie, Jessica or Rachel)
In Hashem's army the uniform proudly displays our Tzitzis (instead of stuffing them into our pants as if we are embarrased of them)
In Hashem's army our vernacular is clean, refined and holy ( and not riddled with vulgar and profane cursing)
It's Elul and Hashem is looking for a few good men to join his army!
Be one of them!
The Yetzer Hara is also looking for people to join his army, but believe me, the pay is better in Hashem's army!
Chazak V'Ematz!
