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Re: "Just regular movies " 27 Jun 2023 18:29 #398125

  • DeletedUser1281
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Grant400 wrote on 27 Jun 2023 16:57:


Well, after such an introduction, here goes:

I fell. Goodbye 159.



Pardon me for skipping the condolences and getting straight to my point.

"Goodbye 159"?

Where did they go?
Where were they till yesterday?
If they were anywhere, they're still there.

It's as if I would say now, "Goodbye 21" because today happens to be 22.
Burying past days smells of streak worshipping and not of ODAAT growth.
We get only one chance at life.
This is not a rehearsal; it's the real thing.

Father, help me live sober Today.

Re: "Just regular movies " 27 Jun 2023 19:51 #398129

  • chaimoigen
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tears in my eyes. 
you have true greatness. and a lot of pain. hang on. 
Please feel free to reach out anytime at chaim.oigen@gmail.com

Perhaps you'd enjoy seeing Chaim's Oigen

Re: "Just regular movies " 27 Jun 2023 20:35 #398131

  • Heeling
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oi, this is heartbreaking. but please dont say goodbye to those 159 clean days. its a huge number. We are all human.

Thinking about you,
You're an inspiration!
You can win the fight, but I'll have to live with the loser.

Any excuse you use for yourself, you must be willing to use for your wife.

Not Always can I understand others, but I can always respect their wishes.

You're human, it's okay.

One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.

Re: "Just regular movies " 27 Jun 2023 20:39 #398132

  • true_self
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You remain My hero and I still admire You, Dear Grant; the biggest inspiration I'm yet to receive from You will be, to see how You get back to yourself, stronger than before, You are at the same place up the mountain just beyond a ditch, but still up there!

Unfortunately sometimes not acting out is beyond our נקודת הבחירה, but our נקודת הבחירה keeps on being pushed higher up.

I'll conclude with this line; אין חבוש מתיר עצמו מבית האסירים, Reach out to friends to help You get back on track!

Oh, and btw, what are the lessons You've learnt from this fall? I leant that the YH never goes to sleep even when it's Grant, and he's up to 159 days.

Stay strong! and keep on being our role model.
My thread: From two identities to True self

If you want to reachout to me to talk please email: wish2banonym@gmail.com

Re: "Just regular movies " 27 Jun 2023 21:48 #398139

  • eccentriccomposer
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Wow, thank you so much.
I am not active on the forums anymore so much, but I check my email daily, please reach out to me!

Feel free to message me if you need anything, I'll try to respond as soon as I can. I hope I can help!

Email: eccentriccomposer01@gmail.com

Eccentric Trip to Freedom
Daily Dose

Re: "Just regular movies " 09 Jul 2025 21:02 #438650

  • grant400
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Had a fall after 75 of the best days in a while. Put alot of work into it...will continue to build off of it iyh.

Starting again!!!!

Re: "Just regular movies " 09 Jul 2025 21:15 #438652

  • thompson
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Thanks for bringing up this thread, even if for an upsetting reason.

DeletedUser1281 (that Platinum Boarder) was spitting strong truths; it's a shame he left in such a hurry.
Last Edit: 09 Jul 2025 21:16 by thompson. Reason: I pity the fool

Re: "Just regular movies " 09 Jul 2025 22:24 #438655

  • hashemisonmyside
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Please start with a bang!!

those 75 days don't disappear, it's still helping you climb the mountain.
Feel free to reach out abe.k1234@gmail.com

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Re: "Just regular movies " 10 Jul 2025 06:45 #438683

  • alex94
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Grant400 wrote on 27 Jun 2023 16:57:
the infrastructure you worked so hard building simply may not be able to hold up the way it holds for normal circumstances.

Most of my adult life has been a series of building to cope and then having a bigger wave come get me started building again. The feeling of out of controlness bites hard and often. After a decade plus of this, I began to notice that while the feeling still tastes similar, the reality on the ground has slowly but surely changed. My נקודת הבחירה has moved forward in many areas. Recognizing this is helpful in developing self belief and hope. Even when things inevitably get crazy and I feel underwater (or more underwater than the usual) I keep "putting one foot in front of the other" because I know that somehow, I am building and growing, even of it doesnt feel like it.
Even deeper, during those very long times when it was really hard to see any growth, looking back, that darkness really pushed me to figure out my way forward, and most importantly, my WHY forward. 
Your number/streak does not define you. Your WHY does. And when it gets challenged, its because you have the zechus to build it yet stronger, realer, and more encompassing.
Thank you for your inspiration.
Last Edit: 10 Jul 2025 06:49 by alex94.

Re: "Just regular movies " 10 Jul 2025 12:04 #438692

  • captain
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grant400 wrote on 09 Jul 2025 21:02:
Had a fall after 75 of the best days in a while. Put alot of work into it...will continue to build off of it iyh.

Starting again!!!!

Remember how great those days were, compared to how you felt right after. This will strengthen you.
Also, please stick around! It will be helpful for you, and very helpful for a lot of others!
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

If you're only ready to try something very small (recently updated and PDF available):
https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/378128-Captain—Shtarkemotionals-Secret90Day-Challenge

Re: "Just regular movies " 10 Jul 2025 12:30 #438695

  • redfaced
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captain wrote on 10 Jul 2025 12:04:

grant400 wrote on 09 Jul 2025 21:02:
Had a fall after 75 of the best days in a while. Put alot of work into it...will continue to build off of it iyh.

Starting again!!!!

Remember how great those days were, compared to how you felt right after. This will strengthen you.
Also, please stick around! It will be helpful for you, and very helpful for a lot of others!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STICK AROUND.
Youve been an asset all the years!
May you slide down the banister of happiness and get many splinters of success up your career

Feel free to send me an owl, a howler, or even a Crumple-Horned Snorkack to Iamredfaced@gmail.com


The Red Face

Re: "Just regular movies " 10 Jul 2025 13:43 #438698

  • chaimoigen
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grant400 wrote on 09 Jul 2025 21:02:
Had a fall after 75 of the best days in a while. Put alot of work into it...will continue to build off of it iyh.

Starting again!!!!

Thank you for posting. Kol Hakavod- that’s a tremendous accomplishment, especially when it seems that you managed it without the support and safety net of this August community. 

Please come back. We miss you incisiveness, intelligence, compassion, wit, balance, brilliance, fun, and friendship!! 

Here’s a warm hand, 
Chaim 
Please feel free to reach out anytime at chaim.oigen@gmail.com

Perhaps you'd enjoy seeing Chaim's Oigen

Re: "Just regular movies " 10 Jul 2025 18:35 #438711

  • proudyungerman
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grant400 wrote on 09 Jul 2025 21:02:
Had a fall after 75 of the best days in a while. Put alot of work into it...will continue to build off of it iyh.

Starting again!!!!

So good to have you back!
Please stick around! We could use you in these parts...
Feel free to reach out and say hi!
proudyungerman@gmail.com
406-219-8398

My Journey:
guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/406231-The-Real-Me
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