This is my first post here hopefully one day I’ll share my journey I can’t figure out why I can suddenly almost do 40 days. With every day that goes on I’m becoming more nervous of the poison of p&m coming back 

Welcome !!! Your takeh otw to greatness, gye forums are where stars are born where regular simple struggling YIDDEN become serious huge bnei Aliyah in many areas besides for kedusha inyanim so stick around post, let us know what's going on and ask us your brothers that have the same struggles as you and did the same aveiros as you  for any help whether it's stam chizuk or you need a idea ...    the real progress is here on the forums read other threads and you'll see what I'm talking about about.  
        hatzlacha stay in touch