This is my first post here hopefully one day I’ll share my journey I can’t figure out why I can suddenly almost do 40 days. With every day that goes on I’m becoming more nervous of the poison of p&m coming back 

Welcome, posting on the forum is a very big step.

Much hatzlocho

Welcome brother to the forums. 40 days is amazing, a יצירת הולד. Don't think about what will be, try to focus on today alone. Here we call it "One day at a time". One of the great resources that there are here on this site is the ability to connect. Posting is a great first step you've taken to change from sobriety to recovery. It's been done by many before you. The guys that tapped in to the awesome power of friendship, have a much better track record then those that go it alone. Obviously, some may prefer to go solo, whatever works for you. Reaching out might be difficult, but it's worth every bit of discomfort. Don't jump in right away. Go at your own pace. Get to know the Oilam, read the forums. When you find someone who's posts resonate with you, try reaching out to him. There are so many fabulous people that will give you time, hold your hand, and best of all, help you carry your burden as a real friend. If reaching out and talking on the phone seems intimidating, there's an option of joining a Vaad, where you can blend in with a crowd. Either way you decise to travel this journey, may it be with tons of Hatzlacha! Looking to hearing more from you!

I guess you get a belated welcome, its really amazing that by just seeing that your not the only one, it changes your life.