5678 wrote on 13 Nov 2024 02:13:

Vehkam’s comment is not just another thing to add to your list, it’s one major nekudah that can help you with everything else on your list. 

It’s the key to everything.

Waiting around for “deep mind work” may end with you even more hopelessly lost deep inside your brain. 

Think about what Vehkam is saying. And maybe try reading his thread to see how he used this approach to get out of the worst situation you can imagine. 

Feeling your pain (I really related to your post on a very personal level) and hoping for your hatzlacha! 

Thank you. Changing the all or nothing perspective is an essential part of the mind work necessary to overcome the challenges you face. There is no quick fix but there can be an immediate change of direction.

youknowwho wrote on 13 Nov 2024 03:03:

It was supposed to be a wink emoji after that comment

vehkam wrote on 13 Nov 2024 04:20:

Thank you 

Hi all, I spoke to HHM earlier, and he helped me clear my mind and think straight, so basically, we decided that changing all or noting nature will be hard for now, and according to HHM it's part of the אונגערישע DNA, so we came to a conclusion that I'll take 1 think that i feel is the most meaningful to me and I'll do that all the way.(We basically changed the definition of the ALL mindwork),I chose chumish rashi, and he recommended that I start right then. Bh, i did, and I'm up to shlishi.I'm feeling better Bh

5678 wrote on 13 Nov 2024 08:02:

Changing all or nothing ANYTIME won't be hard right now. It will be IMPOSSIBLE FOREVER. 
There's no such thing as changing all or nothing. 
Our greatest tzadikim sinned regularly. (See ramban last weeks parsha on Sarah hurting Hagar) 

We have Yom Kippur every year where we explicitly list our many sins, including some serious ones. 
We mention chiyuvei missos beis din. You don't get that unless you really want it! And yet Hashem forgives. 
We say every single day three times, Selach Lanu. Who's that for? Someone who is perfect? 
Being perfect is just the yetzer hara when he has nothing left to give. 
Please continue sinning for the rest of your life while at the same time continue shteiging like you are already doing. Continue making monumental improvements in your life. You are a true hero. 

Perfection is the enemy of success (Rabbi Frand-i think)

What a brilliance, using the all or nothing mentality effectively!

Something to remember, take one small thing and do it all the way….

Thank you for sharing this!

Muttel wrote on 13 Nov 2024 11:07:

Now you know how to deal with our Ungarishe brethren.......

Hi holy brothers, thank you all for the chizik here and in private. A small update on my life, in kadusha im B"h almost at 90 days, had some small challenges and bumps but was able to swim through it, (when I'll have time and clarity I'll iy"h write down what helped me in my kadusha struggle). 
in other parts of Yiddishkeit last 2 week I  learned chumish rashi every day Sunday till שני Monday-שלישי Thanks HHM to give me the push to start, and I also said tehillim every day on the day of the month, and learned Tanya on that day.
I know i still have a long way to go, Davining learning gmura, but I'm looking on from where I'm coming,
In Gashmius bh all is good, business is doing fine, some violations but that's normal, family is healthy bh, Shalom Bayis is bh getting better from day to day, 

Thank you hashem for all the goods I have in my life, and thank you hashem for my struggles in kadusha i wouldn't have asked for it but now that I have it i know that over coming it, brings me closer to you, and you giving me the struggle is because you wanted me closer, so I feel kinda privileged.

Hi all I'm b"h reaching 90 clean days tonight, it's a big simcah, who ever can should please drink a l'chyaim tomorrow. 
א גוט  שבת

Today is also my 90th. I'll clink my glass in your general direction. (I don't know where that is so I'll wave it all around)

Luckily we can't drive on shabbos.......

I doth my cap to you for putting in the work (those that have done the work, know what that entails) to make it this far. 
May Hashem shower you with HUGE bracha 

Mazal tov on your 90th one day at a time, may you be zoiche to your whole life clean going forward.

I'll try to drink a lechayim in your honor, just hope I wont knock myself out from the many lechayim's I'll have to drink...

Have a wonderful shabbos, With love Akiva

odyossefchai wrote on 29 Nov 2024 19:54:

Thanks, I just read your story, your a real inspiration, a real hero in our times git shabbos 

rebakiva wrote on 29 Nov 2024 20:01:

Akiva I think you should doven Mincah tomorrow before you start to drink 

L'chaim buddy!!  Mazel tov! And let's make another l'chaim iyh at your next milestone that you choose.