Hatzlocha wrote on 10 Mar 2016 17:21:

When i was in cheyder the rebbe made a shnayim  mikra contest until שני. i said to myself, sheni?! that's for babies, i do the whole parsha.  למעשה, there were weeks where other chevra came in with notes and i hadn't even done till sheni, i was really ashamed (to myself).

even if you've done it in the past, it can still help in a shavche matzav.

You can still join the chart. If 90 days is easy.. than reach for the wall of honor [url]guardyoureyes.com/90-days-chart/wall-of-honour[/url]], "kedusha" is topping the chart with 2513 days (almost 7 years!)

נו, ווי גייט עס ?

Yidazaddik wrote on 11 Mar 2016 04:52:

so i can fantasize all i want about ladies etc. and not fear god's punishment as long as i dont serve idols with them?
that is a rhetorical question and perhaps a bit sarcastic.
the torah says ולא תתורו אחרי לבבכם of course there is punishment for fantasizing about arayos, as it is a clear lav.
when chazal said that the only avon that one is ne'enash for the machshava is avoda zara, what you wrote is absolutely not what they meant. how can there be a lav in the torah which is a freebie?
also, see the meforshim on the gemara yoma 29b - הרהורי עבירה קשין מעבירה. perhaps the punishment for hirhur arayos is even worse that the maaseh.
rather, pshat in the chazal is the following: the principle brought in the gemara chagiga and other places of machashava tova mitztarefes lemaaseh, veain machashava raah mitztarefes lemaaseh does not apply to avoda zara. therefore if i am contemplating stealing and i do not (not by my own choice), i am not punished. if i contemplate idol worship and i do not (not by my own choice), i am punished. all of this can be found in kidushin 39b, with the explanation of einei shmuel and ahavas olam.
i am all for giving chizuk. but it has to be honest, not just fooling ourselves and others to feel good. that is what got us into our mess in the first place.

ps - לבלתי ידח וכו was not said by shmuel. it was said by a widow to david years after shmuel died, during the avshalom debacle. 

abie wrote on 08 Apr 2016 16:50:

 

נדרים כ. אמר רבי יוחנן בן דהבאי ד' דברים סחו לי מלאכי השרת חיגרין מפני מה הויין מפני שהופכים את שולחנם אילמים מפני מה הויין מפני שמנשקים על אותו מקום חרשים מפני מה הויין מפני שמספרים בשעת תשמיש סומין מפני מה הויין מפני שמסתכלים באותו מקום

[We may not pasken like that etc. (see also [url=https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks?task=callelement&format=raw&item_id=4251&element=f85c494b-2b32-4109-b8c1-083cca2b7db6&method=download]eys lifrosh.pdf[/url]) , and it may not apply here, just bringing the idea that many things one does בשעת תשמיש can have effects on the children born from that union]

אור החיים ריש פרשת תזריע והנה בעת ההזרעה אמרו ז''ל (זוהר קדושים פ.) כי כפי הכוונה אשר יכוין המזריע ימשיך לזרע הנפש, אם יחשוב מחשבות רעות ומזוהמות ימשיך לטפה נפש טמאה ואם יחשוב בטהרה ימשיך נפש קדושה ... אם כן עיקר הלידה שהיא המשכת הנפש לעובר היא בשעת ההזרעה, וקודם לה מלפניה, כי אחר הוצאת הזרע כבר קדם כח החושב שממנו יתהוה הזרע

"pischoshelmachat" post=281092 date=1457727371

רש"י דברים כד:טז איש בחטאו יומתו, אבל מי שאינו איש, מת בעון אביו, והקטנים מתים בעון אבותם בידי שמים
נדרים לב: בעוון נדרים בניו של אדם מתים כשהן קטנים וכו'

[ר' הצלחה זאלסט מיר מוחל זיין]

 

reb H, if you are still there: 

1. there is no way for anyone to know what the cause of the issues with the child is. is it because of something you did? WHO KNOWS? WHO CAN KNOW? HOW ARE YOU GOING TO POSSIBLY FIGURE IT OUT?

2. more importantly, at this point, who cares? the only possible value it can have is to push you towards fixing the problem. between me and you - is a bigger push for you to fix yourself not coming from the very state of your existence?

3. to everyone on this forum insisting that they have the answer as to whether or not the issues with the child was caused by reb H, see number 1 and 2. also, you must be either very "confident" or very misinformed regarding the complexity of the torah to give someone this kind of definite answer (?) advice (?) guidance (?) or chizuk (????!!!) based on something that is כבשי דרחמנא. or maybe you are a נביא.
is anyone really sure exactly how much of what effects a child and exactly what does not?? as hard as it is to swallow, our beliefs and opinions of "what makes sense to us" do not matter here at all - this is the fabric of the universe. the laws of the creation. and if something is the way it is, it will not change because it does not make sense to us, or we do not like it. and fooling ourselves and others because it feels good it what got us into this mess with self-pleasuring to begin with.
 so how about from now on if we do not know the answer to  something that is by nature mystical, or if we are not sure how something works, we just say "we do not know, but keep on trucking" instead of saying our uneducated opinions on the matter that will at best offer false hope? 

I really do love you all.   

I may not disagree with you Peloni (double negative=...) but I think some of the posters here are reacting to what seems to be a totally distorted form of self-blame that many of us are vulnerable to.  I know that I have blamed myself for many things in the past that seem absurd, like

• Terrorist attacks in Israel
• A friend losing an infant child to illness
• A heartbreaking broken engagement of a friend
• A friend feeling faint and unable to learn in Yeshivah
• Children that I wish I could mentor who are veering off the D
• The death of an uncle, an aunt, and a somewhat distant cousin (3 separate deaths)

Should I really blame myself for these things? Maybe my shemiros mitzvos, Torah, Tefillah, Zehiros, etc. could have some unknown mystical effects on the world, and could effect each of these scenarios, but surely Hashem also took into account countless factors, such as the pain of my friends, their wives and families, the victims, how hundreds of lives would be impacted by each of these events, His grand master plan... before allowing any of these things to happen.  Setting aside hashgacha and how to respond to some of the sources above, I presume that someone in need of fertility treatments is medically at a much greater risk for having a child with developmental complications.  But this is all clearly out of my depth, both medically and spiritually.

"Hatzlocha" - If you're still out there, I wish you lots of הצלחה and סיתא דשמיא, both with your struggle over lust and with your child and family.

thanks613 wrote on 15 Apr 2016 17:43:

i understand the problems and i feel the pain. i have been there too.
but it is no excuse for us to unload and impose on others our ignorant and misguided personal ideas regarding mystical elements of judaism.
case in point - there is a very active kabbalah-center thread that is rather hot right now ... full of wise, learned people, well-versed in kabblah, and certainly qualified to decide on their own exactly what is and is not a "myth that the kabbalists perpetrated" (btw, it is at best a machlokes. see ben yehoyada perek 9 of berachos, acharonim end of yoma, etc.), or that the whole thing is a "fairytale" (!) , or that there is any room in  kabbalah to "personally think" something is not the way they say. 
by all means take off some karma. it needs to be said.
besides, mark will give it back (i hope)

KARMA PROTECTION FORCE IS STANDING BY

"KABBALAH IS AN EIGHTEEN-WHEELER...

Hatzlocha wrote on 10 Mar 2016 17:21:

Hello, I was born with special needs. Your child was born with a problem too for a reason. Hashem loves you. He is not mad at you and does not wish to punish you. He is testing you to see if you are sorry for your previous sins. He wants you to be to a good father. He is alos testing your child. He wants you both to Tzadikkim. Hope this helps. Check my signature.
. 

shmulyz18 wrote on 15 Apr 2016 19:16:

God spoke to you?

peloni almoni wrote on 15 Apr 2016 18:08:

Is this a GYE thread? Could you post or PM the link if you think it's appropriate?
 

Why do bad things happen to good people," this can mean one of two things. If you listen to the question carefully, it's assuming God's existence. People say: I know there's a God, but I want to understand: Is this God good? And if he is good, then why do bad things happen to good people?

Alternatively, the question "Why do bad things happened to good people," may really be asking "I'm not sure that God exists." That's a completely different question. The question of God's existence has nothing to do with the issue of suffering. It has to do with creation, revelation at Sinai, world history, etc. So we should be clear that the question we are dealing with here is not "Does God exist?" It's "Why do bad things happen to good people?"

shmulyz18 wrote on 15 Apr 2016 19:16:



 

No I believe He tests everyone constantly. HaShem is not mad at them. He is testing them.
I have to go. Good Shabbos. Shmuly.