first of CHANGE YOUR NAME! You will need to be more hopeful to win.
Second of all I fell after 139 days clean. Here is a link to my post after I fell
rehab-my-site.com/guardureyes/forum/index.php?topic=1377.15 The I always suggest is to ask yourself ( or I ask myself) "What could I have done better?" If we fall it is because we are lacking something in our recovery. It could be a lack of self acceptance or maybe we cut corners in fences or maybe we need to learn how to structure our days better or deal with stress.
What ever it is, it is something and there is the knowledge on this site to help us. Instead of feeling sorry for your self start asking yourself questions.
Best of luck