Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 25 Jun 2017 23:11:

As a founding member of BA (Bed Anonymous) I feel your difficulties...
Did you consider taking some kind of recovery literature to bed with you when you go sleep in the afternoon?
Maybe start with the two most relevant Rav Twersky books, (like addicted thinking) or The God of my understanding by Rav Shais Taub...
Its very likely you wont manage many chapters till you fall asleep but it might give you food for thought.

Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 25 Jun 2017 23:11:

Brother I was not inquiring which one of the 20 recovery programs you follow on Shabbos
I was simply asking if you have a schedule / program for Shabbos
Do you take a walk with your wife / dog / other?
Do you enter the local Beth medrash to fight your chavruta?
Do you spend precious time with your kids?

Markz wrote on 26 Jun 2017 01:12:

Yes, my Shabbes is BH full to the capacity, i play a lot with my kids, i learn alot, in the morning, i get up at 6 am to learn, in the afternoon after my brain fights, i learn a few hours, my day is full, but still when im in bed, things get heated up, a great GYE member told me what a therapist told him, sometimes there might be a blockage in the brain to do something , and the best way to get rid of it, is to make a change in schedule, so for me instead of going to bed right after the sida, i should play, learn or walk for an hour, so the brain will see a change, so thats what im doing the last 2 weeks, it works, its better what it used to be, but still, im still not perfect, far from perfect, its very triggering, i wish i would know why and what its triggering, it takes some time to heal, ill have to ask this GYE memeber, what he says to it, how long it takes to see changes.
thank you markz.

Yes! Its Friday and shabbes again, and its in the catskils, which makes it a little bit more tougher, i hope to report on motse shabbes with good news, that im stil clean, ill try my best....
please all, have me in mind....
have a good and clean shabbes... 

I have family there

There's gotta be gye family by you

I had BH a great and clean shabbes.
i think that the change in routine thats what helped me, i played and walked with my kids an hour before going to nap. I feel thats what helped me. 
we should all have a great and clean week

Yes! We are here again, its friday and shabbes again, and with an addition, its vacation time too, double trouble, how in the world will i survive? I dont know, but Hashem knows how badly I want to stay clean, and he will stay with me all the time, hashem is not sleeping for a second, and he is not looking away from me either for a second, so he will be my Shoimer, he was and he is here for me all the time, he never ever let me down, even when i dont see it, i do believe so, and together with all your tefiles i will report after shabbes my success. 
thank you all.
you should all have a good, nice, enjoyable and clean shabbes. 

I find Shabbat the hardest day for my lust addiction.

For me it is the inability to work, (combined with the inability to phone someone for chat if one needs to).

When I work, I feel I achieve something.

When I do not work, I feel a lack of achievement and so my self esteem falls, then my mood falls, and I am tempted to artificially boost it with acting out.

I will try to "achieve" by studying something on Shabbat...so I can feel I will grow spirituality, to make progress.

It is the day when we are meant to be "complete", to rest from work. A taste of the world to come when our work is done.
But I find it hard to take a day off.

From another angle, maybe the extra Kedusha of the day also provides potential for extra Tumah?

ColinColin wrote on 12 Jul 2017 01:15:

i feel your pain!!! i know exactly what you are going through, but it will only get better.


i disagree, Kedusha dosent bring tumah, yes bigger struggle, but bigger Kochos
keep it up, stay strong

אור החיים הקדוש on why the tumah is more by a yid is because the greater kedushah there is, the more availability for tumah and the inclinations for tumah is increased. Mashal with honey and garbage and flies.

Trouble wrote on 12 Jul 2017 17:58:

Well said Trouble. And welcome back.

We are at friday and shabbes again.
לקראת שבת לכו ונלכה, but how? How can we go into shabbes, Im afraid of a fall, but כי הוא מקור הברכה, so how can it be that i will fall, its the מקור הברכה, and מאתו לא תצא רעה, i dont know the answer, but its really tough.
you should all have a good and clean shabbes
please, lets have in mind each other.

Im excited to announce, that im still clean, i had a beautiful and clean shabbes. 
thank you all.

its Friday today, and im hoping for a nice and clean one.
i didnt post here for a long time, since things had been changed due to change in routine, but still im not perfect... lets hope for a clean one.
you should all have a clean and nice shabbes.

amen. you too