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שבת קודש נפשי חולת אהבתך
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TOPIC: שבת קודש נפשי חולת אהבתך 23859 Views

Re: שבת קודש נפשי חולת אהבתך 26 May 2017 17:21 #314237

  • Shivisi_Hashem
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eslaasos wrote on 26 May 2017 16:22:

cordnoy wrote on 26 May 2017 15:58:

eslaasos wrote on 26 May 2017 15:46:
Would you like to share why? It doesn't have to be on the forum, or at all if that's your preference.

Alternatively I can try the desensitization approach by setting up an automatic email on the hour to ping you with the "K" word. 

It is a defect with me.

IfIf I would use the word, I would be foolin' myself into thinkin' that I was really comin' closer to God.

As I am a moderator on this site, if I would write that I think others are foolin' themselves and are full of BAD WORD REMOVED when they write that and other type of things, it would create an uproar. Do I think like that? Email me. Do other (moderators) also say or feel like that? Email them. Some of them may have even posted once or twice on the forum regardin' this.

Regardless, my feelings of others are irrelevant. It is what I feel about myself. I have readily said over and over that I don't really know God. I have said lately that I'd like to begin a relationship with Him. By the fact that I have been in recovery for four years, does that make me a kadosh, or feel kedushah? Nope. Would I like to? I don't know. Do I think you feel it? Could be; I have no idea. 

But as a lustaholic who has no idea what kedushah is, and one who is workin' on recovery, I resent the term, but that is my problem, not yours. I am simply sharin' my thoughts for my benefit, for I am a selfish prick.

Thanks for the elaboration.
You know me; I'm a simple guy. To me it's potato-potahto. Some call it serenity, some call it recovery, some call it returning to God. As someone drummed into me, the main thing is what I'm doing, not what I'm thinking, and methinks that includes what name I give it.

I completely agree with you that:-
A. I have absolutely no idea what G-d thinks of me, and no idea if I feel kedusha. I tend to doubt it.
B. I have absolutely no ability to gauge whether I am fooling myself.

However, I have been told, and am OK with:-
C. Even if I don't have a relationship with Him, He has one with me
D. He hates immorality, and desires any separation from immorality

I am less positive but am inclined to add:-
E. This is true even if my motivation is (partially?) self-aggrandization which is something else He hates.

I don't know how to begin a relationship with Him, or even what is motivating me to do so, so at the end of the day, if I do want to go in that direction (which I think we both do), all I can do is take the steps of acting the way He tells us to.
So maybe using the term kedusha is inappropriate and pretentious. Certainly if the term bothers you I will try to avoid using it.

Well said! 
keep it up, you are doing and thinking in the right direction.
My email:jacdoja@gmail.com
My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון,  והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים

Re: שבת קודש נפשי חולת אהבתך 26 May 2017 17:26 #314238

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Hashem Help Me wrote on 26 May 2017 17:12:
For all those davening for a clean Shabbos please have me in mind too!  Its my hardest day. And 2 days yom tov coming too. (I remember acting out Shavuos morning after vasikin..... and then again when i took a nap later in the day....   and then again.......)      I do have everyone in mind when i say those 2 kapitlech every day so please think of me. Most appreciated.

Ill have all the GYE memebers in mind shabbes, בכלליות, its a very big shabbes.
My email:jacdoja@gmail.com
My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון,  והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים

Re: שבת קודש נפשי חולת אהבתך 26 May 2017 17:33 #314240

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Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 26 May 2017 17:20:

cordnoy wrote on 26 May 2017 15:58:

eslaasos wrote on 26 May 2017 15:46:
Would you like to share why? It doesn't have to be on the forum, or at all if that's your preference.

Alternatively I can try the desensitization approach by setting up an automatic email on the hour to ping you with the "K" word. 

It is a defect with me.

IfIf I would use the word, I would be foolin' myself into thinkin' that I was really comin' closer to God.

As I am a moderator on this site, if I would write that I think others are foolin' themselves and are full of BAD WORD REMOVED when they write that and other type of things, it would create an uproar. Do I think like that? Email me. Do other (moderators) also say or feel like that? Email them. Some of them may have even posted once or twice on the forum regardin' this.

Regardless, my feelings of others are irrelevant. It is what I feel about myself. I have readily said over and over that I don't really know God. I have said lately that I'd like to begin a relationship with Him. By the fact that I have been in recovery for four years, does that make me a kadosh, or feel kedushah? Nope. Would I like to? I don't know. Do I think you feel it? Could be; I have no idea. 

But as a lustaholic who has no idea what kedushah is, and one who is workin' on recovery, I resent the term, but that is my problem, not yours. I am simply sharin' my thoughts for my benefit, for I am a selfish prick.

Someone is knocking!! 
what's bad of talking of good stuff when you are not there, and you dont know what it is? 
מתוך שלא לשמה בא לשמה..

Foolin' yourself is not a good idea.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: שבת קודש נפשי חולת אהבתך 26 May 2017 18:01 #314244

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cordnoy wrote on 26 May 2017 17:33:

Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 26 May 2017 17:20:

cordnoy wrote on 26 May 2017 15:58:

eslaasos wrote on 26 May 2017 15:46:
Would you like to share why? It doesn't have to be on the forum, or at all if that's your preference.

Alternatively I can try the desensitization approach by setting up an automatic email on the hour to ping you with the "K" word. 

It is a defect with me.

IfIf I would use the word, I would be foolin' myself into thinkin' that I was really comin' closer to God.

As I am a moderator on this site, if I would write that I think others are foolin' themselves and are full of BAD WORD REMOVED when they write that and other type of things, it would create an uproar. Do I think like that? Email me. Do other (moderators) also say or feel like that? Email them. Some of them may have even posted once or twice on the forum regardin' this.

Regardless, my feelings of others are irrelevant. It is what I feel about myself. I have readily said over and over that I don't really know God. I have said lately that I'd like to begin a relationship with Him. By the fact that I have been in recovery for four years, does that make me a kadosh, or feel kedushah? Nope. Would I like to? I don't know. Do I think you feel it? Could be; I have no idea. 

But as a lustaholic who has no idea what kedushah is, and one who is workin' on recovery, I resent the term, but that is my problem, not yours. I am simply sharin' my thoughts for my benefit, for I am a selfish prick.

Someone is knocking!! 
what's bad of talking of good stuff when you are not there, and you dont know what it is? 
מתוך שלא לשמה בא לשמה..

Foolin' yourself is not a good idea.

TThats not calling foolin, we all know our situation, 
My email:jacdoja@gmail.com
My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון,  והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים

Re: שבת קודש נפשי חולת אהבתך 26 May 2017 18:08 #314247

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Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 26 May 2017 18:01:

cordnoy wrote on 26 May 2017 17:33:

Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 26 May 2017 17:20:

cordnoy wrote on 26 May 2017 15:58:

eslaasos wrote on 26 May 2017 15:46:
Would you like to share why? It doesn't have to be on the forum, or at all if that's your preference.

Alternatively I can try the desensitization approach by setting up an automatic email on the hour to ping you with the "K" word. 

It is a defect with me.

IfIf I would use the word, I would be foolin' myself into thinkin' that I was really comin' closer to God.

As I am a moderator on this site, if I would write that I think others are foolin' themselves and are full of BAD WORD REMOVED when they write that and other type of things, it would create an uproar. Do I think like that? Email me. Do other (moderators) also say or feel like that? Email them. Some of them may have even posted once or twice on the forum regardin' this.

Regardless, my feelings of others are irrelevant. It is what I feel about myself. I have readily said over and over that I don't really know God. I have said lately that I'd like to begin a relationship with Him. By the fact that I have been in recovery for four years, does that make me a kadosh, or feel kedushah? Nope. Would I like to? I don't know. Do I think you feel it? Could be; I have no idea. 

But as a lustaholic who has no idea what kedushah is, and one who is workin' on recovery, I resent the term, but that is my problem, not yours. I am simply sharin' my thoughts for my benefit, for I am a selfish prick.

Someone is knocking!! 
what's bad of talking of good stuff when you are not there, and you dont know what it is? 
מתוך שלא לשמה בא לשמה..

Foolin' yourself is not a good idea.

TThats not calling foolin, we all know our situation, 

I have no idea if that is true or not, but my hunch says that it's not.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: שבת קודש נפשי חולת אהבתך 26 May 2017 18:09 #314248

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Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 26 May 2017 17:20:

cordnoy wrote on 26 May 2017 15:58:

eslaasos wrote on 26 May 2017 15:46:
Would you like to share why? It doesn't have to be on the forum, or at all if that's your preference.

Alternatively I can try the desensitization approach by setting up an automatic email on the hour to ping you with the "K" word. 

It is a defect with me.

IfIf I would use the word, I would be foolin' myself into thinkin' that I was really comin' closer to God.

As I am a moderator on this site, if I would write that I think others are foolin' themselves and are full of BAD WORD REMOVED when they write that and other type of things, it would create an uproar. Do I think like that? Email me. Do other (moderators) also say or feel like that? Email them. Some of them may have even posted once or twice on the forum regardin' this.

Regardless, my feelings of others are irrelevant. It is what I feel about myself. I have readily said over and over that I don't really know God. I have said lately that I'd like to begin a relationship with Him. By the fact that I have been in recovery for four years, does that make me a kadosh, or feel kedushah? Nope. Would I like to? I don't know. Do I think you feel it? Could be; I have no idea. 

But as a lustaholic who has no idea what kedushah is, and one who is workin' on recovery, I resent the term, but that is my problem, not yours. I am simply sharin' my thoughts for my benefit, for I am a selfish prick.

Someone is knocking!! 
what's bad of talking of good stuff when you are not there, and you dont know what it is? 
מתוך שלא לשמה בא לשמה..

I think מתוך שלא לשמה can only be said about something defined yet it's done שלא לשמה. But if you don't know what it is, how can there be a שלא לשמה

This whole discussion is irellevant to me that's been having intimacy לשמה for too many years. I don't do things שלא לשמה

[Sorry cord's you'll have to give me a cryptic ticket]
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Re: שבת קודש נפשי חולת אהבתך 28 May 2017 04:54 #314263

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A good vuch all,

i had a struggling friday afternoon but i won, BH nothing happaned, i stayed clean.

shabbes afternoon was a wonderful one, no struggle at all, definitely because of your tefilos, and becuase of hashems help,.

im still clean, and hope to continue this path..

thank you all.
My email:jacdoja@gmail.com
My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון,  והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים

Re: שבת קודש נפשי חולת אהבתך 28 May 2017 05:30 #314268

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Easier on my end too. Thanks for all the tefilos.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: שבת קודש נפשי חולת אהבתך 28 May 2017 05:33 #314269

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BH for all the good news. I too had an easier time than expected and I know I had you all in mind a few times over Shabbos.

Thank you both for building איש את רעהו יעזרו
Quotes that speak to me
What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy)
My Thread    My Other Thread

Re: שבת קודש נפשי חולת אהבתך 30 May 2017 19:25 #314525

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חבירים יקרים!

The yom tov is here, in a few hours, im very nervous it should pass clean, im getting tomorrow 6 weeks clean, please have me in mind at your tefiles i shouldn’t fall, i should stay clean in such a big yom tov, the struggles are bigger in yom tov, please, ill have you in mind too.
Thank You 
have a wonderfull good and nice Yom Tov
My email:jacdoja@gmail.com
My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון,  והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים

Re: שבת קודש נפשי חולת אהבתך 30 May 2017 21:22 #314531

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We'll have each other in mind.
Hatzlacha!
Quotes that speak to me
What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy)
My Thread    My Other Thread

Re: שבת קודש נפשי חולת אהבתך 02 Jun 2017 04:33 #314549

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Gut vuch all.
i had BH a great and clean yom tov, no struggles at all, for me it means a toooon, 2 days of yom tov and not to act out? Not even struggling? Thats something special, it was my Oineg Yom Tov.

i had all GYE members in mind by my tefiles and thilim. 

tomorrow is Friday and Shabbos again, i hope to stay sober.
My email:jacdoja@gmail.com
My threads: my long נסיעה of almost 30 years ~ My Book of Business ~ My Upcoming Dilemma

להטות לבבנו אליו ללכת בכל דרכיו ולשמר מצותיו וחקיו ומשפטיו אשר צוה את אבתינו
כי עיקר מציאות האדם בעה"ז הוא רק לקיים מצות ולעמד בניסיון,  והנאות העולם אין ראוי שיהו לו אלא לעזר ולסיוע בלבד לשיהיה לו נחת רוח ויישוב הדעת למען יוכל לפנות לבו אל העבודה הזאת מסילת ישרים

Re: שבת קודש נפשי חולת אהבתך 02 Jun 2017 06:02 #314551

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Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 02 Jun 2017 04:33:
Gut vuch all.
i had BH a great and clean yom tov, no struggles at all, for me it means a toooon, 2 days of yom tov and not to act out? Not even struggling? Thats something special, it was my Oineg Yom Tov.

i had all GYE members in mind by my tefiles and thilim. 

tomorrow is Friday and Shabbos again, i hope to stay sober.

Very happy to hear. Because you specifically made a request before chag, I remembered to put in a word for you when I was talking to our Father...

Re: שבת קודש נפשי חולת אהבתך 02 Jun 2017 12:14 #314559

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BH a pleasant and clean yom tov here too. What a difference from times past. Thanks for all the tfillos. There is no question that everyone's being mispallel be'ad chaveiro is helping for the whole oilam as well as for themselves. Good Shabbos to all.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: שבת קודש נפשי חולת אהבתך 03 Jun 2017 21:25 #314582

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i did not have a gr8 yom tov i acted out on the second day i bli'n pledge to join the davening group to daven for the oilem on shabbos (also during the week)
Formerly mikestruggling I just bought a truck. l hang out in the trailer and G-d drives. 
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