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This time I mean business!
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TOPIC: This time I mean business! 37525 Views

Re: This time I mean business! 15 Mar 2017 13:33 #308247

  • Hashivalisesonyishecho
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I have lot's of tzaros R'L. I basically can trace most of it back to the time that I initially got an internet connection on a laptop, around 9 - 10 years ago. (But not all, because some started before that.) Now B'H it seems that one of the big problems is somewhat improving. I hope it gets completely resolved. If it does, it will be very to interesting that it happened at the time that I have made this new commitment. 

Re: This time I mean business! 15 Mar 2017 13:46 #308252

  • cordnoy
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If that type of thinkin' helps you, go for it (In a huge way).

II have my share (and others) of problems, and that thought process never helped me at all.

B'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
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Re: This time I mean business! 15 Mar 2017 15:45 #308269

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I see it in 2 ways. One is the obvious that I am assuming that the divine intervention will work for me better if I behave. But the second is something which I actually experience and see clearly to have some truth. And that is, that I find when I act out, or even just when my heart in not in the right place, although my mind seems not be affected, and is still just as capable of following and grasping any logical discussion, it is in fact affected. Certainly my judgement, but not just my judgement, but also my judgement related logic, is negatively affected. So I end up not being able to make the right steps to remedy things, no matter how hard I try. And when I am in a better place, the good approaches and solutions seem so relatively simple and obvious, that I wonder how I could have made such poor choices and plans for things.

Re: This time I mean business! 31 Mar 2017 05:24 #309763

  • Hashivalisesonyishecho
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Things are going on. But the reason I stopped posting is because I find that some of the things I say, seem to be questionable in terms of whether they are appreciated by the general readership here, and in terms of whether or not they are beneficial for the people here to read. 

Re: This time I mean business! 31 Mar 2017 05:49 #309766

  • GrowStrong
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We appreciate everything you write! I can see you are respected by the kahal also.
As long as you are doing great and not fighting the battle in isolation that's the most important thing.
Cheers brother good shabbos !

Re: This time I mean business! 31 Mar 2017 11:31 #309781

  • cordnoy
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Hashivalisesonyishecho wrote on 31 Mar 2017 05:24:
Things are going on. But the reason I stopped posting is because I find that some of the things I say, seem to be questionable in terms of whether they are appreciated by the general readership here, and in terms of whether or not they are beneficial for the people here to read. 

Hi again,

SeveralI things:
  1. Main reason to post is for yourself.
  2. I and others appreciate what you say. 
  3. Not everyone needs to agree or even appreciate.
  4. The world is a mighty big place. GYE is a composite of this world we live in. There are all types of folks here. 
  5. I say: if it's beneficial for you, keep postin'.


B'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: This time I mean business! 31 Mar 2017 12:25 #309784

  • Markz
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cordnoy wrote on 31 Mar 2017 11:31:

Hashivalisesonyishecho wrote on 31 Mar 2017 05:24:
Things are going on. But the reason I stopped posting is because I find that some of the things I say, seem to be questionable in terms of whether they are appreciated by the general readership here, and in terms of whether or not they are beneficial for the people here to read. 

Hi again,

SeveralI things:
  1. Main reason to post is for yourself.
  2. I and others appreciate what you say.
  3. Not everyone needs to agree or even appreciate.
  4. The world is a mighty big place. GYE is a composite of this world we live in. There are all types of folks here.
  5. I say: if it's beneficial for you, keep postin'.


B'hatzlachah

100%!!

Hashiva, I think the only objectionable statement you have written is your most recent one 
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Re: This time I mean business! 02 Apr 2017 03:07 #309852

  • Hashivalisesonyishecho
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Thank you GrowStrong, cordnoy, & Markz. I really appreciate your having responded the way you did.

Re: This time I mean business! 02 Apr 2017 04:21 #309862

  • Hashivalisesonyishecho
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I am basically keeping to my resolution. When there are syagim in place, the nisyonos are there at that level, and not in the actual abhorrent behavior. So It's like a cushion. A soft cushioning against falling onto the concrete. 

As I said, one of the problems I suffer from, seems to be showing an improvement, B'H, and I hope it's really on it's way to being resolved. But I'm still not learning behasmada. Maybe it's because I am still very bogged down by all of the other very difficult things I go through. But maybe I have to come to terms with the fact that I'm only flesh and blood. I do feel somewhat more elevated though, particularly in davening. The looking at what I should not, really lowers the level of existence. I don't realize it so much when I live that way, because my brain still works to understand learning. But when I don't do those things I feel so much better, so much more like a mentch. And the daas is certainly better. That is the judgement.

Re: This time I mean business! 03 Apr 2017 04:11 #309928

  • Hashivalisesonyishecho
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This evening I was listening to the radio, one of the stations that I allow myself to hear, that is WNYC 93.9 FM. Someone was telling a story, and it turned out that it wasn't appropriate to listen to. But I didn't stop listening. That was wrong. I hope Hashem will forgive me and accept my remorse. I hope I don't need petch, because I have enough of that. I am adding those programs to my list of no nos.

Sometimes I just am not occupied and I wish I would be able to bring myself to learn. But at the moment I often find that very difficult, so I am left with nothing to do, and that causes a nisoyon. 

I think Hashem is doing this in order to lift me up. I wish I would lift. I have improved but I suppose it isn't enough. 

Re: This time I mean business! 03 Apr 2017 10:45 #309948

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Good to admit it.

Don't beat yourself up about it.
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
One day... At A Time :-D

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Re: This time I mean business! 03 Apr 2017 12:56 #309959

  • cordnoy
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Hashivalisesonyishecho wrote on 03 Apr 2017 04:11:
This evening I was listening to the radio, one of the stations that I allow myself to hear, that is WNYC 93.9 FM. Someone was telling a story, and it turned out that it wasn't appropriate to listen to. But I didn't stop listening. That was wrong. I hope Hashem will forgive me and accept my remorse. I hope I don't need petch, because I have enough of that. I am adding those programs to my list of no nos.

Sometimes I just am not occupied and I wish I would be able to bring myself to learn. But at the moment I often find that very difficult, so I am left with nothing to do, and that causes a nisoyon. 

I think Hashem is doing this in order to lift me up. I wish I would lift. I have improved but I suppose it isn't enough. 

II wrote on a different thread my opinion about tests. Now, I don't know if I am at all correct, but it would help in this situation. Our ego says that God is testin' Us, and if We don't rise to the occasion, We have seriously let Him down. However, if we view these bumps as merely bumps in the road, sometimes one swerves around the bump, sometimes he drives over it and sometimes it impedes him a bit. If we can simply focus on the now, it makes life much more calmer. I did the right thing now. That is good. (Am i on aa higher level because of it? Did it lift me up? That is counterproductive.)

 Hope that made some sense.

B'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: This time I mean business! 03 Apr 2017 21:58 #310020

  • Hashivalisesonyishecho
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cordnoy wrote on 03 Apr 2017 12:56:

Hashivalisesonyishecho wrote on 03 Apr 2017 04:11:
This evening I was listening to the radio, one of the stations that I allow myself to hear, that is WNYC 93.9 FM. Someone was telling a story, and it turned out that it wasn't appropriate to listen to. But I didn't stop listening. That was wrong. I hope Hashem will forgive me and accept my remorse. I hope I don't need petch, because I have enough of that. I am adding those programs to my list of no nos.

Sometimes I just am not occupied and I wish I would be able to bring myself to learn. But at the moment I often find that very difficult, so I am left with nothing to do, and that causes a nisoyon. 

I think Hashem is doing this in order to lift me up. I wish I would lift. I have improved but I suppose it isn't enough. 

II wrote on a different thread my opinion about tests. Now, I don't know if I am at all correct, but it would help in this situation. Our ego says that God is testin' Us, and if We don't rise to the occasion, We have seriously let Him down. However, if we view these bumps as merely bumps in the road, sometimes one swerves around the bump, sometimes he drives over it and sometimes it impedes him a bit. If we can simply focus on the now, it makes life much more calmer. I did the right thing now. That is good. (Am i on aa higher level because of it? Did it lift me up? That is counterproductive.)

 Hope that made some sense.

B'hatzlachah

I thank you. But I feel that if I don't look at things the way I am saying here, it would be very hard for me to come to terms with all that I am going through. I feel that I am being slapped hard from so many sides at once and one after the next, in such a bizarre way, that it doesn't seem normal and natural at all, so I can only think that it's behashgach pratius to give me a message of some sort.

Re: This time I mean business! 03 Apr 2017 22:08 #310021

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Hashivalisesonyishecho wrote on 03 Apr 2017 21:58:

cordnoy wrote on 03 Apr 2017 12:56:

Hashivalisesonyishecho wrote on 03 Apr 2017 04:11:
This evening I was listening to the radio, one of the stations that I allow myself to hear, that is WNYC 93.9 FM. Someone was telling a story, and it turned out that it wasn't appropriate to listen to. But I didn't stop listening. That was wrong. I hope Hashem will forgive me and accept my remorse. I hope I don't need petch, because I have enough of that. I am adding those programs to my list of no nos.

Sometimes I just am not occupied and I wish I would be able to bring myself to learn. But at the moment I often find that very difficult, so I am left with nothing to do, and that causes a nisoyon. 

I think Hashem is doing this in order to lift me up. I wish I would lift. I have improved but I suppose it isn't enough. 

II wrote on a different thread my opinion about tests. Now, I don't know if I am at all correct, but it would help in this situation. Our ego says that God is testin' Us, and if We don't rise to the occasion, We have seriously let Him down. However, if we view these bumps as merely bumps in the road, sometimes one swerves around the bump, sometimes he drives over it and sometimes it impedes him a bit. If we can simply focus on the now, it makes life much more calmer. I did the right thing now. That is good. (Am i on aa higher level because of it? Did it lift me up? That is counterproductive.)

 Hope that made some sense.

B'hatzlachah

I thank you. But I feel that if I don't look at things the way I am saying here, it would be very hard for me to come to terms with all that I am going through. I feel that I am being slapped hard from so many sides at once and one after the next, in such a bizarre way, that it doesn't seem normal and natural at all, so I can only think that it's behashgach pratius to give me a message of some sort.

Firstly, again, I have no idea what the "correct" way is.
Secondly, I don't know what you're going thru, but I can tell you about myselfI and there are many here that know asI well, my life is one constant, bizarre, abnormal, crazy situations one after the other.
Thirdly, I am not referrin' to the "big stuff," I am referrin' to the story on radio station, the neighbor and the tulips, the woman who cut me off by the light, the fellow in front of me on line yentin' about his daughter's siyum on tzena rena, etc.
We need to learn how to do the right thin' and then move on, at least, I need to; that's what works for me, and that's my preachin' message. Others have other ways and that is also fine.

B'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 03 Apr 2017 22:19 by cordnoy.

Re: This time I mean business! 03 Apr 2017 22:18 #310023

  • Hashivalisesonyishecho
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cordnoy wrote on 03 Apr 2017 22:08:

Hashivalisesonyishecho wrote on 03 Apr 2017 21:58:

cordnoy wrote on 03 Apr 2017 12:56:

Hashivalisesonyishecho wrote on 03 Apr 2017 04:11:
This evening I was listening to the radio, one of the stations that I allow myself to hear, that is WNYC 93.9 FM. Someone was telling a story, and it turned out that it wasn't appropriate to listen to. But I didn't stop listening. That was wrong. I hope Hashem will forgive me and accept my remorse. I hope I don't need petch, because I have enough of that. I am adding those programs to my list of no nos.

Sometimes I just am not occupied and I wish I would be able to bring myself to learn. But at the moment I often find that very difficult, so I am left with nothing to do, and that causes a nisoyon. 

I think Hashem is doing this in order to lift me up. I wish I would lift. I have improved but I suppose it isn't enough. 

II wrote on a different thread my opinion about tests. Now, I don't know if I am at all correct, but it would help in this situation. Our ego says that God is testin' Us, and if We don't rise to the occasion, We have seriously let Him down. However, if we view these bumps as merely bumps in the road, sometimes one swerves around the bump, sometimes he drives over it and sometimes it impedes him a bit. If we can simply focus on the now, it makes life much more calmer. I did the right thing now. That is good. (Am i on aa higher level because of it? Did it lift me up? That is counterproductive.)

 Hope that made some sense.

B'hatzlachah

I thank you. But I feel that if I don't look at things the way I am saying here, it would be very hard for me to come to terms with all that I am going through. I feel that I am being slapped hard from so many sides at once and one after the next, in such a bizarre way, that it doesn't seem normal and natural at all, so I can only think that it's behashgach pratius to give me a message of some sort.

Firstly, again, I have no idea what the "correct" way is.
Secondly, I don't know what you're going thru, but I can tell you about myselfI and there are many here that know asI well, my life is one constant, bizarre, abnormal, crazy situations one after the other.
Thirdly, I am not referrin' to the "big stuff," I an referrin' to the story on radio station, the neighbor and the tulips, the woman who cut me off by the light, the fellow in front of me on line yentin' about his daughter's siyum on tzena rena, etc.
We need to learn how to do the right thin' and then move on, at least, I need to; that's what works for me, and that's my preachin' message. Others have other ways and that is also fine.

B'hatzlachah

Aha.
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