Yes!!! Ive had alot of the 1&2 feelings

Can you explain #3 alittle more you didn't fill in the "..."

Markz:

Sometimes I'll make an extra effort not to look at women who are not dressed appropriately. But then I think to myself, like what's the point? I've seen much much MUCH worse, what's the problem looking at these women on the street... you get what I'm saying?

Teshuvah wrote:


There are no half measures with this addiction, for sure it makes,a difference, every lust hit brings me closer to fall, if we are carefull what we see on the street we are one step closer to recovery.

As far as the spooky stuff this happened because of that. It is natural to think on those terms but i dont think it has helped anyone.

Teshuvah wrote:
You may be interested to join this poll HERE free of charge
You say you don't look at inappropriately dressed women
I take the same stance as I think Alex Eliezer does - No looking at any women

Teshuvah wrote:


I got to learn, that if I want to stay sober I got to stop lusting!

You can lust after a women who is dressed very modest. lust awakens our inner sickens.
looking at inappropriate women or stuff just fuels our addiction.

but to get free we got to stop lusting this thirst to see to know . . . . .

all the best

there's one thing in all this great advice that i haven't seen - and that's that this battle TAKES TIME.it doesn't come immediately.it's DIFFICULT to break an addiction, which is a VERY STRONG HABIT.so calm down, take it slow, have patience with yourself, accept a fall, and you will progress much faster. isn't that an oxymoron? slow down and you'll progress much faster? well, that's how it works.when i started on this site about 7 years ago (or was it 8?) there was a saying - 'sheva yipol tzadik vkum'. which means IN ORDER to become a tzadik, you have to fall!! it does NOT mean that the definition of a tzadik is a person who gets up after a fall - it means that IN ORDER to become a tzadik, YOU MUST FALL, and then of course, get back up.how many times? is 7 an absolute? meaning if i fall 8 i can't be a tzadik anymore? i doubt it.it probably means a million times also.
jack

Your feelings are quite common, but we really don't know why good or bad happens. One thing I do know is that it's a lot more complicated than if you acted out today or not. I wouldn't stress about it.

as far as #3, if I take in lust, even if it's not "that bad", it leads me to stuff that is "that bad". I can't afford to start, for once I do, I cannot stop.

Reb Teshuvah,

YES YOU CAN!
Don't give up, once you'll be clean you'll understand the beauty of just not looking on women on the street.
But you certainly can and will Be'zh get there.
Did you install filters on your devices already? if not do it ASAP, and install the toughest possible.

Be strong and you'll make it up there.

Mit Hazlocha.

jack wrote:

Jack,
Thanks for the post, this is a posuk that has stuck in my head after hearing it numerous times from the mashgiach in my yeshiva many years ago. However I never understood this aspect that you NEED to fall in order to be a tzadik. Can you elaborate?
Tyvm

Teshuvah wrote:

Re points 1 and 2 are counter-productive as has been pointed out, and are therefore just another falsehood used by the YH to trick you into keeping you under his thumb.

Regarding the third point, I have no idea but it's definitely possible that Hashem will have a bigger taynah on the little stuff that you could have more easily overcome.
Additionally, the progression of the YH starts with eyes looking, heart desiring, then actually doing. So if currently you don't have an issue acting out with live people, you want to keep it that way by not starting down that path, i.e. by not looking.

yes.rabbi reisman talks about it in his book, pathways of the prophets.to me, that is a MUST read.in fact, while you're there, read the whole book (only if you want to become educated though).failure is a big part of success. it teaches us things.about ourselves.and what we need to improve on.failure should not get us down - it is a teacher.getting down is a trick of the yetzer hara.guilt is good BEFORE we fall - but after we fall, guilt will not help unless it stops us the next time - which it probably won't, as dov says.

by the way, my chat box opens up and people say hi, but there is something wrong and my box keeps disappearing.so i apologize if people see me not answering
jack

jack wrote:

Thank you.
I used to be too black and white to understand this because you're still responsible for your actions and there is going to be a din vcheshbon on an action that is actually necessary for future growth! Seems counter-intuitive.
I still don't understand it but I'm learning to accept it nevertheless. In the (hopefully very) distant future I will find out how the RBSO's perfect justice system will be applied to my life, for now I just need to work on not allowing the past to define the future - easier said than done.
Thanks for the reference.