Welcome, Guest

How to get to 90 days!
(0 viewing) 
A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
  • Page:
  • 1

TOPIC: How to get to 90 days! 1185 Views

How to get to 90 days! 25 Oct 2015 13:00 #266789

Hey
Mazal Tov! I made it to 90 days clean with Hashems help and the support of GYE!
I thought I'd try and list what's worked for me so far, if it will help anyone out there.

#1 Having a filter.
This is plastered all over GYE, but I gotta reiterate it. However motivated you are and however strong you think you can be, having a filter is imperative to staying clean and guarding your eyes. I use Covenant Eyes for my laptop, and Net Nanny for my android phone. Both of these filter the sites on your device, but also give your accountability partner access to view reports on everything you visit.

#2 No filter is complete without you.
That being said, every filter has its holes in the system. I don't want to bring attention to them and cause temptation for anyone unaware of them, but I personally know where the yetzer hora takes me to that isn't blocked. So you need to stay far away from them - be it having a phone curfew, restricting your use of devices when alone or in the bathroom - whatever works for you. This is still a battle for me, so bring on #3.

#3 Hashem is in control.
Talk to G-d. We can't do this alone. Ask Him to take away temptation and help us through this... It helps.

#4 90 days chart.
This isn't the ultimate goal, nor am I immune now, but having a goal in sight is infinitely helpful in overcoming the temptation rush. Join the climb, update regularly and appreciate how well you are doing! It definitely helped me.

#5 Music
As I type, I'm listening to some awesome Jewish music. While I do listen to non-jewish music, I have seen the difference in staying clean when tempted while listening to 'kosher' music. Try it - there's something that just calms you and really helps there. Combine this with #6 for the ultimate recipe .

#6 Distraction
Sitting in your room and white-knuckling doesn't work. Guaranteed that long term it's easier if you train yourself to never open the door to the temptation. Find a hobby, exercise, phone your parents or treat yourself to an ice cream. Whatever distracts you - it's not cheating, it helps. For me this was one of the most important, and now the temptation doesn't find its way in from boredom .

#7 Guard your eyes (and hands) - from yourself.
Maybe this should have been #1, because for me this is literally the game changer. When I turned around and decided to stop on Tisha Bav, I also made this commitment. Basically I thought about it logically and realised that dieting is impossible if there's cake on the table always. SO - DON'T LOOK AND DONT TOUCH. Never look at or touch your Makom Habris. It's that simple. You lie to yourself and say you need to when you go to the bathroom etc, but your brain isn't that stupid... You learn to be excused while not touching it. Looking is much harder, but don't look down. Showering is the hardest time but you can do it! For me this totally changes things - it made staying clean a thousand times easier.

#8 Talk to people.
Whether you're ready to tell a real person, or post on GYE, talking out what works and does't and how you're doing is a crucial part of recovery.

#9 Don't get down.
It's hard. Don't get depressed. Firstly, for me I know that falling is the worst thing and impossible to get back up. So I use the three second rule, if you see something think and then look away. Then congratulate yourself! Don't let the Yetzer Hora win. Same goes for nights... unintentional falls don't count. So don't be upset, Just KEEP ON TRUCKING.

I had lots to write but thats all I can think of now. Feel free to add chizuk and comments in reply, I can't wait to read them - I'm still on this journey too. If any of the moderators could pin this for a while I'd appreciate that because I really want those who can to benefit from this. KOT guys. Thank you all. Kol Tuv!

S
Last Edit: 25 Oct 2015 13:02 by Fightingaddictionnow.

Re: How to get to 90 days! 25 Oct 2015 13:23 #266790

  • gevura shebyesod
  • Current streak: 1313 days
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 4183
  • Karma: 505
Awesome!!! KUTGW!!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: How to get to 90 days! 25 Oct 2015 13:36 #266792

  • eny
  • Current streak: 91 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 66
  • Karma: 1
This was so helpful.
Wishing you Chizuk to keep on going day by day & take your life to great places.
Kol tuv

How to get to 90 days! - Fight no Surrender 25 Oct 2015 13:51 #266794

  • Markz
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 8282
  • Karma: 427
Hey F.A.N
That's amazing!!!!x90

All your many points resonate strongly with me.

I'm following similar fighting addiction policies, and although I'm 20 days to go, I feel like I'm already sure to get there - of course beH

Which point is hardest for me?
Possibly #9 Don't get down. I don't usually, but I know what can happen when depression / upsetness hits... We can loose restraint and blow up the filter

#5 Music. YES!!!
And it can help for #9. I've been meaning to start a new break free post about music
...........for some reason what I ended with got deleted, not important for now

Keep Trucking with your Boom Box Rocking
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story
Last Edit: 25 Oct 2015 13:54 by Markz.

Re: How to get to 90 days! 26 Oct 2015 03:31 #266840

  • m58yiw84niym
  • Current streak: 29 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 96
  • Karma: 5
Congratulations! I don't often give Karma points (hey, these imaginary fake internet points aren't cheap!), but this time, I feel it's well deserved

On a slightly more serious note (not too serious though, don't want people to get the wrong impression about me ), this post is really quite an inspirational one. One of the strongest inspirations about this site is seeing others who have gone through the same challenge I'm going through now, and keeping clean for long periods of time. But even within that, there are two categories: The first one is those with the several-hundred clean days labels. It's amazing to see others who are fighting the same battle as me keep such a clean streak going.

But in some ways, even though I can relate to that, seeing people so far down the road seems at times almost impossible or just out of reach from where I am now (I view them as sort of the 'Gedolim' of the site. I hope to one day be there, but it still seems a far climb to reach the top of that mountain).

On the other hand, seeing someone reaching the 'first' milestones is a whole lot more relatable to me. I know that it's something that's within my grasp (even though I haven't reached it yet...), and seeing someone who a few months ago was where I am is a great inspiration.

In the merit of your inspiration to keep us 'little guys' going strong, may you Keep On Trucking and some day soon be counted among the Gedolim of the site!
  • Page:
  • 1
Time to create page: 0.49 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes