For whatever reason I haven't been to a live SA meeting in a while. one of the things I missed must about the meetings was the ability just to be able to get honest with myself to slow down think about how I'm feeling, what's been going on in my life and to share some of that with a group of similar minded people. So i figured id start a post were we could do just that.


so here goes. FYI I'm a 25 yr old single in yeshiva and i have a lot on my mind in regards to dating....I would like to thank G-D for helping me learn specific info tonite about a certain shidduch that put my mind at ease and really helped me relax. very grateful for that. im a little worried that driving back to my "hometown" tonight may make me tired and cranky which never helps for staying clean, but I did commit to take another guy and I don't want to make him have to run out and catch a bus. (maybe I'm being codependent maybe im just being honest to my word and caring for someone else not sure) either way that's what im worried about im gonna try and relax and most importantly not beat myself up if i end up leaving later than expected im human and i make mistakes and im still ok. that's my top plate. THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE!

Thanks for being here and sharing! When you get involved it not only helps you but it helps others.

HI everyone my name is humble and I'm a gratefully recovering person. I usually get confused am i an addict am i not depends on the day of the week or which therapist I'm seeing. Either way i know i struggle with watching porn and M and i need all the help i can get. anyhow i had a pretty eventful day running around taking care of a lot of errands didn't really have time to sit and think but i would like to commit to the group that i will bli neder journal tonight.

i did notice myself looking around a lot more today and that could be bec I'm nervous about some upcoming events in my life. cant really get into specific details online (p.s. serenity, i read ur excerpt from dov's dose and i totally agree about the anonymity issue) I'm nervous about my future anxious scared and even a little excited. G-D i ask You to please remove these from me i let go its all in your hands i trust you love me and care about me and only want whats best for me help things go smoothly I"m leaving it in your hands. Thank You.

Also wanted to say publicly that today is day 7 for me which doesn't happen that often. very grateful Thank You Hashem . that's all I got. Thanks for Letting Me Share!

You can call me if you need more freedom to share. Also Dov's call should be starting up again in a couple weeks. It's a secure call.


Oh and thanks for sharing!

btw when i hit rock bottom i get out a jackhammer

humble wrote:


yep!
Ain't that the 'pits'?

not to turn this into a cornography thread but.........the light at the end of my tunnel is an oncoming train:(

anyway, just wanted to get current haven't share in a while. Thank you G-d for helping me stay clean one day at a time for today. very grateful. any single guys out there that can relate I'm on a huge rollercoster in my dating life which is really adding a lot of stress to my life right now. I "like" to obsess about thinks in my head rethink and reanalyze a million times until i get a brain attack which is what happens when ur mind says that's it I'm done have a great rest of ur day, good luck picking up the pieces. so I've been overthinking lots of things today going back and forth one second I'm an ok guy making the best decisions possible then im beating myself for being dumb etc.... I also haven't been sleeping as much as i should so i would like to commit to this group that i will be in bed by 12 tonight iy"h. Thats all i got just wanted to reach out let guys know (& to remind myself) that i am going through a difficult few days right now and i need to be more aware of my feelings/emotions. THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE!

Hi humble,
I relate to a lot of what you said. The over-thinking in particular. I don't know what advice to give you for that cos I can't pinpoint for sure what it is that vastly reduced it in me. I'm well into my 30's so it could be the maturity of experience of what helps you. But when you have no solutions that is THE BEST time to turn to Gd. You are an ani (in this respect), your back is against a wall, you are deeply troubled by this and there seems to be no solution in sight (only an oncoming train!) so cry out to Gd. Tell Him your pain. Tell it over regularly. (How many tefillos did Moshe ask for the same thing?) You don't even have to ask for a solution if ou can't bring yourself to ask. (The yidden in mitzrayim didn't ask; Hashem just heard their groans.) Just share with Gd your pain. As it says: tefilla le'ani... velifnei Hashem yishpoch sicho". Hatzlacha rabba. Shlomo

shlomo thank you so much for that message!

i really do need to just let go and talk to hashem. its so funny bec i usually think that's what i do but when i read ur post i realized i really haven't just spoken to G-D just open up and let out my heart. i was speaking to a rebbi of my today and i was updating him on certain things that have happened in my life recently and i mentioned something great that happened & he was like WOW!You need to have that in mind by moidim! & i nodded like of course i do but i don't & i never even thought of having it in mind I can really be self centered I thought the whole time it was my doing MY brains MY erlichkeit that made it happen and its not.

and on that note let me get current, I've been going through some rocky times and ive picked up a pattern, when i see that things may not work out the best whether it may be in shiduchim or any aspect of life I throw in the towel and i dont try. Like if i wake up late instead of going to the late minyan and starting everything an hour later Ill just give up and lay in bed till 12. I feel like that may be happening to me in my dating life right now, I've hit some major blocks but it doesn't mean that everything is over, and even if it is...... I WANT TO STAY SOBER ANYWAY!!!! yes it will REALLY REALLY hurt is this shiduch doesn't work out but that has nothing to do with my will not to become a (more) self centered narcissistic ego driven indulgent husband/father. that being said I just had a slip a few minutes ago seeing something online G-d i am in Your hands please help me stay clean tonight help me get to bed relatively early help me have a restful clean night.

G-D i offer myself to you to build with me and to do with me as you wish. relieve me of the bondage of self so that i may better do your will (i.e. open up my eyes help me see how much of my life is about you and not about how much i do help me be less self centered) take away my difficulties so that victory over them will bear witness to those that i may help, to YOUR power YOUR love & YOUR way of life. Help me do Your will tom. THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE

Thank you!

And if you are anyway near as selfish with warped dei'os and middos then you'll relate to this: It occurred to me today that I've got so much to ask Gd for help for, because I'm so poor and deficient in so many areas.
However, one of my biggest areas of weakness is recognising that Gd is with us, that He listens, is and wants to be mashpia good on us - and that it is irrespective of ME.
Someone with this mindset who prays, his prayers are tattered and deficient (I feel this way anyway but I'm willing to stand corrected).
But the major benefit of needing to pray so much (because I lack so much) is that it forces me to ask Gd to teach me how to talk to Him, and it trains me in developing the dei'os and healthier perspectives of Gd's goodness, and that He is with us and responds to us because He is merciful.
What I'm saying could be my own krummer perspective and wrong - and if the oilam think I'm off base please do correct me.

shlomo, the one thing I got out of your post was that when your backs against the wall and you feel trapped.....STOP realize G-d is telling you something just stop fighting and relax, think about ur situation and turn to HIM. I also noticed in my self that I can be very connected to Hashem daven well learn well talk to hashem throughout the day but the hardest thing for me is letting go, saying G-d I cant You can I'm giving it over to you. just something that's hard for my ego to do, it doesn't mean I'm worthless or inferior or incompetent just means that I'm not a kol yochal I can't do everything perfect, this is who I am I accept myself for who I am I and I turn the rest over to You Hashem. I trust You.

wanna wish all the holy jews out there a wonderful amazing relaxing spiritually uplifting shabbos!!!! & may He grant us the ability to stay connected & feel His "presents" BE GREAT GUYS. THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE!

Ok just wanna get a little current. motzie shabos is usually tough for me especially after a shabos full of stress/tension. I'm feeling really angry right now at certain people in my life. I've always struggled with assertiveness and that something that i had a really hard time with over shabbos. Don't know if anyone can relate but I'd really love to put my hand through a wall right now. need to breath relax, journal and maybe write this person a letter expressing my feelings towards them and their behavior and to quote skeptical "and then to let go" hashem please help me with these emotions help me learn to be assertive about how i feel indifferent to what the other person may have gone through just because ur hurting doesn't give u a right to hurt others, help me use the healthy tools instead of acting out. have a great night guys & TFLMS!

humble wrote:


Good move to write your feelings out here.

Maybe try a step 4.