I don't know if their have been similar posts, I assume so, but I still have to say it for myself.
Thanks guys!
There, I said it.
I, like many of us here, have been trying to do the right thing for eight or nine years now, but have only recently started using this site.
What can I say?- I'm still not succeeding.
But I'm still trying.
Every time that I fall and report it on my 90 day chart, the email I get says exactly what needs to be said. Every so now and then out of the blue I get a chizuk message which again, says exactly the best thing.
So you guys are not a simple solution, a magic trick to vanish the problem.
But it sure as heck helps.
So thanks.
And keep up the holy work

Thank you for being here and sharing your experience.

welcome and keep up the tryin'.

bhatzlachah

The question you must ask yourself is what can I change so that I do not fall next time.

Keep tweaking your approach. If your not sure, post what you are already doing and ask for hadrocho.

In your mind you must understand that failure in simply not an option. Sobriety is an absolute necessity and you will be willing to do whatever is necessary for success.

Hotzlocho!

yiraishamaim wrote:


Second time I saw this in a week....what does this mean?

Life is a serious business. We are here for a purpose. If we are not in recovery we are truly slaves and we can't accomplish our purpose(which is sobriety and array of many other wonderful personal accomplishments)
We all know all too well how in addiction we suffer from low self-esteem, personal relationships and professional goals. Needless to say we are in a spiritual trash can even if we learn and do other mitzvos.

Therefore, sobriety is a necessity for living. It is to the neshama as air or water is to the body. When we are in recovery the simcha is so real its euphoric. With sobriety we have the ability and self-confidence to go on and accomplish other great feats.

Now sometimes we fool ourselves that we are making a true hishtadlus. We have in back of our minds that we will put forth a fair effort and if we fail nu nu we'll get there. I want to drive home the idea that we must yearn for sobriety with the greatest of fervor.

To realize that with it the sky is the limit.

Just look at what kedusha and others have posted on how their lives became full of bracha once they stopped this dreaded compulsion.

A person must truly ask themselves are they truly longing for the wholesome lifestyle?

Are they doing all they can? Are they making meaningful changes after a fall or are they kvetching, waiting for some support from the chevra here, and then back to the same old.

FAILURE IS SIMPLY NOT AN OPTION!

2 short points:
1. that is what we mean when we ask if one's life is unmanageable. if it is, he will want somethin' else; if it isn't, i doubt your rhetoric will convince him.
2. "failure is not an option" sounds like one can't fall, and then when he falls, we say, "Get back on the truck." Which one is it?

What can i tell you? I don't like the phrase, but that's just a lust addict talkin'.....perhaps it helps you or others.

b'hatzlachah

cordnoy wrote:


Comments. On point number 1. Even if one's life is unmanageable it does not mean the person will do what it takes to improve. There are all sorts of psychological buttons here.
As well, only, wanting/wishing something else won't cut it. We have so many people here going to face to face meetings, phone meetings. talking to sponsors, posting on the forum and more. There needs to be a commitment to improve. Even with the above input of effort there has to be a sense that it will lead eventually to recovery.

point 2) failure is not an option is for the ultimate winning the war not on every battle.
The team decides to win the world series it does so with losses here and there.
In recovery there will be some falls but eventually there should be a program/routine in place that is working( needless to say there is always a possibility of falling again)

Winners have a sense of where they want to go. They have a drive and desire that they will do whatever it takes to get there.

The phrase "failure is simply not an option" is a concise way of saying just that.

What can I tell you? I like the phrase. Rhetoric on the other hand...

yiraishamaim wrote:


why would someone go to a face to face meetin', engage in a phone conference, talk to his sponsor, etc. if he wasn't plannin' on improvin'?

A person who takes on those things is certainly committed. If in the beginning he is questioning his ability to become sober that is also more than understandable.
All I am saying that at a certain point "planning" alone is insufficient. One needs a bren if you will. A sense of urgency that I must live my life and I can't unless I am truly in recovery.
That's all I am saying. A heightened awareness that this must be successfully dealt with, and life is not living otherwise. What did the early Americans say:"Give me liberty or give me..."
on that note I must get some shut eye as I am about to keel over in exhaustion. That's what happens when you don't get your usual shabbos shluf.
A gut voch!

Keep on inspiring us all!

yiraishamaim wrote:


If you read my posts (many from the past and some recent ones), you will see that I wrote many a time that "hope" and "plan" are four-letter words, but goin' to meetin's, engagin' in phone conferences, talkin' to a sponsor, etc. are not hopin' and plannin'....that is participatin' in recovery.

once again, the personal opinion of this lust addict is that "urgency" is not on the list of sobriety. Commitment to work a program is. Urgency is more of a pep talk, but for me, it is counterproductive. Why? For I am not sober yet. If all I would think of is urgency and "failure is not an option" and "Win team, win!" I would become despaired and depressed and despondent. No, I focus on the recovery plan; I work the steps; I participate on the phone, etc. and if I, or another end up fallin' in the meantime, so be it....that does not stop the progress....is it part of the plan? nope! But the urgency isn't either.

Once again, i end: If that works for you or others, go for it please!

bhatzlachah