I'm really embarrassed and am dreading the conversation with my rebbe! What do I do? I'm afraid how this will hurt me. I'm in yeshiva too. What do I do? He likes me a lot and he has high regard for me. I feel really stupud and thought i didn't get caught. I know i deserve this and its a problem with my emunah.

firstly you can tell us what happened.
then, the oilam here can help you figure out your emunah or lack thereof.

wishin' you the best

Cords

Thank you for sharing, I understand where you are coming from. Getting caught will hopefully give you a chance for some real honesty and healing!

Hatzlacha!

Being caught may be uncomfortable (very), but it's not as bad as what was being done before. For many people, being caught can actually be the beginning of a turn for the better, if one takes the opportunity to really be honest and start to really change.
Not sure how your emunah ties in here. Maybe you can elaborate.
Keep us posted
SG

So i may have chosen the wrong word, Emunah. I was just thinking, if I'm this embarrassed because of my rebbe, why not so with Hashem?

I was having some pain, "down there," and i thought i could look it up without the tracking software recording me. Well, i kinda got ahead of myself, my eyes wondered, curosity got the better of me, and i slipped multiple times. Turns out, EVERYTHING got recorded. Don't get me wrong, ive slipped before, and I do work hard to stop, but this time I really got embarrassed.

Sorry to hear about that. I really feel for you.

I want to share with you a story I heard from a member of the family that the following story is about.

There was a man in his sixties that visited a massage parlor at least once a week. His family found out and was was devastated. They were very close to Rav Sheinberg zt"l.
So they ate their pride and asked the Gadol what to do. I don't remember all of the advice but I do remember that he said they should tell him that they know what he is doing.

They said" but he will be shamed?" Rav Sheinberg answered that he needs to be for the actions to cease.

Now I know that shame may not be necessary(easy for someone else to say I admit) for every person but it just might be what the doctor ordered. Also for many this horrible "habit" of viewing the forbidden could grow horns the kind which you would never imagine. If you pay close attention to some of the admissions that have been expressed here on the forum- or at least hinted to - you readily understand this. You've gotta nip it now!

Also you can be sure that your rebbe knows countless others that are challenged in this way. Hey, are you aware that not long ago there was a huge assembly in New York in a coliseum on the subject of the dangers of the internet.
This is our generations issue.

I would advise that you go in and admit everything. He knows it anyway. Tell him that the habit is killing you. That now, having to tell him - while embarrassing is also a relief for you.(of course if you yourself believe in all this)
I have trust that your rebbe is an ish emes and will embrace your honesty,humility and sincere wish to improve.

So did the man stop after the embarrassment?

B"H Yes

Thank you guys. I appreciate the empathy and kind words. Yiraishamaim, that is a very empowering story. You are right; I am afraid, but i cannot let this continue. I keep trying to break the habit, but i keep getting hit. Who knows, maybe this'll be my activating moment.

I caught a bochur doing something terrible and brought it to his Rebbe.

I told the Bochur that I know right now he hates me but one day he will realize I saved his life. B"H he is a different person today. He had to go through a lot of hard work and he's not finished yet (we never really are) but if I hadn't caught him he would probably be too deep in to ever get out by now.

I wish someone had done that for me when I was young.....

I respect your courage.

Compare what you are willing to do now to gazing at P_____.

You are now being a true man.

I don't know if I would have your bravery.

I am sure that Hashem will guide you.

Hatzlocho Raboh!

Have you spoken to your Rebbe about it yet?
This may sound cruel, but my first reaction to this thread was a sense of relief.
Boruch Hashem! Why should another Yid continue to go through the torture that many of us endured through our single lives and into married life? The hiding from our spouses, children, the continued feelings of shame and regret?
It's much easier to deal with when you have someone helping you. Especially if it's someone who cares about you.
I know how hard it is to approach a Rebbe or mentor for help in this area, but here is your chance! Given to you on a silver platter! Grab the opportunity to make real change in your before you get further steeped in addiction!
Please keep us updated; we look forward to hearing your progress.
Hatzlocha