shivisi wrote:


I obviously don't know you, and as someone who has struggled with feelings far be it from me to judge you. I can tell you what I would think if I had those thoughts myself.

"That's the gremlin speaking."

"He just wants me to feel bad."

"He knows that when I feel bad about myself, I'm far more open to a fall."

In reference to what someone else posted (quoted above), I also think that feeling a healthy sense of self would be helpful. Perhaps you do, in which case Great! You'll enjoy the benefits. If you don't, then this might be something that could benefit you.

Your chaver,
Leo

It is human inclination, (Yetzer Ha' Ra really) to take for granted everything we didn't have a challenge with. Who was more thankful to walk today? You and me? Or the guy who just took his first 5 steps in a row after a crippling car crash? Who was more thankful theyre alive today? you and me? Or the woman who was just told that her cancer is malignant.

One of the things we struggle with every day is to NOT take anything for granted! Hashem blesses us with every little thing we have. Our organs, our ability to breathe, walk, talk, go to work, EVERYTHING! Part of the reason people are so unhappy is because they take all of Hashem's kindnesses for granted. They don't see their cup half full. This is one of the reasons why Chazal instituted so many blessings. Hashem doesn't need our brachas! theyre for us! To make us constantly aware of every little blessing.

Now look at your story. You can find guys on here crying for joy because they struggled and stayed clean for a week. You are blessed with a 90 day streak by Hashem and find dissatisfaction in it? you didn't stay clean for 90 days, Hashem KEPT you clean.

try reading "The Garden of Gratitude" by r' Shalom Arush. Great book that teaches one to thank G-d for every little thing and explains how showing gratitude to Hashem for the good and "seemingly bad" ends up making life so much sweeter and SATISFYING. Hatzlacha!

Hi beginner here, is there something to look forward to, or am i to live in constant fear of the next explosion. "Once a drunk always a drunk" no?! Some personal experience please.

Life!