Just wondering I'm clean for two weeks now, I feel good about myself in a way. Am I fooling myself? Am I underestimating my yetzer horah? Or am I good to go?

I don't want to burst your bubble, but in the last six months, I've had streaks of over 2 months and one over 5 weeks. It came back at me with a vengeance. Perhaps you are stronger. It seems that "being clean" for some time is not the complete answer.

What is the answer? I'm not sure

That's why in here

It's great to be able to look at the past and be strengthened by what we have been able to accomplish, but it does not help to think about whether or not we have the yetzer harah beat.

Will I have temptations later on? Maybe, maybe not. It doesn't help me now to think about what may or may not happen later.

The main thing is to make sure that right now I am making the right decisions.

Well this is a fight not a struggle, so, you have to be proactive in fighting. True you don't need to think that you are going to fall in the future but you for sure need a vision on how you are gonna continue this holy war!
Also fighting the fight of the moment as you say might be a good idea. Like to ask myself what is it I need to do now or today.

What is that kept you going for 2 months or 5 weeks? And what happened that made you fall?
The answers to these questions maybe the answer to a lot of questions. And remember we share a lot of questions as we are not alone in this struggle so by coming up with answers we help everybody!

I don't know for certain
One of them I was on high with intimacy with wife
I also started with therapist thru one

Stress in family is always a killer
Lack of intimacy with wife

It seems that with this issue I am so fragile
Any turbulence sets me off

I'm not sure intamcy or the lack of it makes you or does not make you recover from a porn addiction.I think ( in my apinion) you can have the best marriage and still do things you are not allowed. Now having said that stress does not help any situation so we need to find another outlet to melt away or relieve us from our stresses.

Liveman wrote:


I agree with most of that, but I would hesitate to say that it is our duty to be proactive in fighting. You need a battle plan, but if things are going well thinking about it is counterproductive.

If you think about not doing something, you're thinking about it. Which can be a bad thing.

"Anyone who sees a Sotah in her disgrace should become a nazir from wine." Sotah 2a (and I think Nazir 2a). (Because wine leads to immoral conduct). Why? Aderaba (it would make sense the other way), that someone who has seen a sotah wouldn't want to replicate her conduct!

The answer is that this conduct exposes him to the POSSIBILITY of immoral conduct. THe initial revulsion will fade over time. The inspiration will fade. Thus one must take extra measures.

How does that apply? You see by thinking about it too much, it is counterproductive--but by the same token, you should have a plan in advance.

I agree you need a plan. Not s saying you should sit and think about the yetzer horas all day but you need a vision as how you will keep you guard up. And with having that vision I mean you are proactive.

100%.

Learn from your past falls, try to figure out how not to let it happen again. But then let go and live in the present. Worrying whether or not the YH will strike again is pointless. Just live and make the right decisions moment by moment.

I agree! Leaving go and taking it moment by moment should work best.