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Hi , Help needed !
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: Hi , Help needed ! 504 Views

Hi , Help needed ! 17 Jun 2013 20:10 #209539

I'm just managing to get 42 days clean, now i get this urge this Drunkenness ! I've done the taPshic method but i'm really scared this will crumble H"Y!
I'm still quite fresh in the addiction (if i am an addict)
I feel crazy , I even thought of taking my wife but you cant take it too often as this will call suspition (or can you? what is the law of the game b"h i love her but i'm not in the situation to tell her my situation)!
Oy Hashem help me Please !

Re: Hi , Help needed ! 17 Jun 2013 20:12 #209542

  • TehillimZugger
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FORTY TWO DAYS!!!!!!!!!!

GEVALDIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

You have a slight problem now? Inhale, exhale, say three kappitlech tehillim.


Oh and welcome. and KEEP ON POSTING
?דער באשעפער לאווט מיך אייביג. וויפיל לאוו איך עהם
My Creator loves me at all times. How great is my love for him?

Re: Hi , Help needed ! 17 Jun 2013 21:30 #209559

  • gibbor120
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Welcome vetoher veskadesh! You have come to the right place.

You must have read the handbook about taphsic, what else have you done?

Taphsic has it's limitations. It helps some, but for many people it is not sufficient. Have you told anyone about your problem? A rebbi? A friend?

There are a lot of tools and many wonderful welcoming people here. Why don't you tell us some more about yourself and your struggles?

Re: Hi , Help needed ! 23 Jun 2013 01:19 #210019

Hey how are you doing, and welcome.

Listen I am not married and I cant give you any advice about telling your wife (I do know the white book mentions extreme caution, and I don't think a decision out of despair is a good one), but I can tell you this, telling someone helps, isolation is our worst enemy. If you don't have anybody yet, then pray for somebody, or for the guts to actually be honest with a friend. I have a great friend who was open with me but I was never able to be open with him, but when I decided that it was time I felt like the world was going to come crashing down and the feelings of shame would overwhelm me and that I would never be able to look him in the eyes again. Well, he accepted it pretty nonchalantly, were still best friends and boy did it feel good.

But I digress, KEEP POSTING, it helps with the isolation, ALOT. the truth is no matter what, even if you do open up to somebody who is not a fellow addict, then you wont be sharing the ins and outs of your every day struggle, ( in my opinion) its not healthy for your relationship and they wont really understand. This is a place where you can do that a little more freely and there are some people here who can give you some pretty solid advice and encouragement.

Listen, as to whether you are an addict or not, for me I found clearing up that point was and is crucial. Because until you can define addiction you cant accept it, and if you cant accept it then you cannot begin to deal with it. Reading the white book of SA might help (let me know if you want a PDF version, I got one from our friend gibbor120).

Oh, and by the way Kol Hakavod, 42 days is something to be proud of, keep on going.

Re: Hi , Help needed ! 23 Jun 2013 03:41 #210020

  • Watson
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tehillimzugger wrote:
FORTY TWO DAYS!!!!!!!!!!

GEVALDIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

You have a slight problem now? Inhale, exhale, say three kappitlech tehillim.


Oh and welcome. and KEEP ON POSTING


+1

Also, taking a long walk, or even going for a run, can help. And remember, these images, moving or otherwise, that seem so alluring are nothing but pixels on a screen. It's not a real person, they can't see you, don't know you, don't like you, don't care about you, they're just a million tiny dots behind a piece of plastic. Take a quick look at the back of your monitor to get a real sense of what it is you're actually looking at. ''Vechol horish'oh kulo ke'oshon tichleh''
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