Hi DavidT,
Thank you for checking in. I am sorry for my delayed response, and I want you to know how appreciative I am that you and the other guys here care about me and each other. I feel regret that that I haven't been able to respond to the numerous kind people who have messaged me here on GYE. With Hashem's help I have made significant progress! Since my last post, I managed to make it to where I am now still clean and am nearing 90 days! I have a lot of thoughts that I want to share with the GYE community about my journey, but I will do that in later posts. Suffice it to say, I am pushing through day by day, getting closer to 90 days. Even this morning my yetzer was trying to shove fantasies into my head, but I said "No, I don't want you here!", and was able to distract myself and move on. I try to feel like a warrior with a single mission—doing רצון ה׳. I have been davening multiple times per day that I should desire nothing in the world than do to רצון ה׳ and to be disgusted by even the thought of violating a single halacha. I have seen other people here on the forum mention things about how this journey requires a personal transformation, and I thoroughly agree. It is 100% clear to me that to win this war, we have to come to DESIRE doing what's right (i.e., keeping the halacha with total precision and love) more than we desire to do what's wrong, and that requires a huge transformation of self through lots of learning and tefillah. I hope to share more of my thoughts in further posts. Please keep checking in! I apologize to anyone to whom I have been negligent in responding to on the messages.

5Uu80*cdwB#^ wrote on 24 Nov 2021 15:36:

Thank you for this message.
There is so much that we can learn from what you're writing.
​Looking forward to hear more details about your journey.

  

Hey Tzaddik!
I'm rooting for you!
You could do this!
You are WAY stronger than you think!
​Fight him. You're strong!!!!

You can do it. We believe in you. I didn't think I would ever reach 90 days and now I have for the first time. For me the hardest battle was somewhere around where you are holding right now. I was in physical pain from the withdrawal and feeling like I was going to buckle from the discomfort. If you're only option is to just run, then just run. In these moments, it's exceedingly difficult to win an intellectual battle, so just run away from the scene. Literally. Just flee the area where you might fall. If you can make it through these withdrawal symptoms, you are well on your way towards lasting victory. We're davening for you! This is short lasting pain for an unimaginable eternal reward. Keep us updated.

Hi everyone!!!
I woke up today feeling like I need some sexual stimulation but bh  I was able to resist the thought but when I was on my way home from shachris I bumped into a few inappropriately dressed girls that got me all turned on.
I have big nisoyon now to go on youtube to watch girls and to master ate.
I hope I will overcome nisoyon 

You can do it!!

i would recommend talking to someone or put your focus on something that will take you out of your head
(if that makes sense)

Lost In Search wrote on 19 Jan 2022 02:07:

What would your webchaver say?

cordnoy wrote on 19 Jan 2022 02:27:

If it's you?

"Push the envelope a little..."

Thanks a lot for responding
Bh I was able to push through and not fall

Lost In Search wrote on 19 Jan 2022 18:06:

Hi everyone
I ambembarrassed to say that I fell last night. I masturbated multiple times and watched shmutz on YouTube. And all this while my wife was sleeping in the room.

Need some Chizuk. Beyond drained from a very stressful day! All I wanna do is use my pacifier.. to calm me down! My brain is screaming. I’m feeling done and exhausted! I love this place and figured I’ll reach out! Why not become somewhat vulnerable It’s good to be on that side here too sometimes! Love and chizuk is welcome! :-))))))) - drainedandemotional. 

I wish I could give love and chizuk through the internet, but I really don't know how to. I can tell you that you should call the GYE hotline, they have recordings of people speaking very compassionately and gently specifically for when you're facing an urge or when you're just to exhausted to fight. I think you'll like to hear them. 

And don't forget to call with *67 before the dialing the GYE hotline to remain anonymous, if you didn't know already.

Bilaam Harasha to Yosef Hatzaddik wrote on 03 Mar 2022 00:45:

Without *67 you might be in deep trouble, as if GYE is out to get you
​(P.S. I do understand and respect everyone's privacy)

We are here to catch you and you’re not gonna fall. If you are exhausted go to sleep and you will wake up refreshed. If you can’t sleep put on some good music.